Free Four: Divergent
by Magsforever
Summary: This is the full story in Four's POV. What was Four thinking when Tris jumped? What happened when he was controlled by the simulation? Please R
1. Prologue: Tobias's Choice

I tugged at the hem of my grey shirt nervously. My fathers words earlier still ringing in my head telling me not to mess this up, telling me, I needed to stay with the Abnegation. I wasn't so sure. I hate everything about my faction, I hate the fact I can't speak out against my father, I hated the fact I don't really know when my birthday is, and most of all I hate the fact that, most likely, my life would continue this way. Lonely and boring. Without any freedom. Trapped by those who call themselves selfless. The results of my Aptitude test may just be the only thing that can save me from this hell. My hopes are low however, I am not brave like the Dauntless, or honest like Candor. I am most defiantly not selfless like Abnegation, or peace-loving like Amity. My silent musings were interrupted by a loud voice calling from the rooms where the test was being administered. My name is called along with an\Abnegation girl named Victoria. We're the closest you can get to friends in Abnegation Standing next to one another it's hard to tell which one of us is which. Our lumpy grey clothes mask any sort of figure we have, Our hair kept pulled away from the face or short is a similar color. The others in the room probably have no idea who we are. But that's what the Abnegation want. They want their acts to be seen not their bodies or personalities. A few people from Dauntless look up as we pass. One of the reasons I know I am not a member of Abnegation at heart is because I envy them. I want to be like them, to go on adventures, face my fears, and jump out of moving trains. I want to be seen as someone who shouldn't be messed with, someone fierce, someone dauntless. Victoria and I share a small smile at one another before we go into our testing rooms. In mine sits a man, Dauntless by the look of him, surrounded my mirrors. I catch myself looking in them. My eyes hold a new hope from the last time I looked, there's a new fire in them.

"Have a seat, I'm Amar." the man says with a smile. His smile is infectious and I find myself grinning slightly despite mt nerves. "Don't worry this doesn't hurt at all." he says and starts attaching electrodes to me. He hands me a small glass of liquid which instructions to drink it all. I do so quickly and my the tests begin.

I wake up after the test, Amar's smile is gone now, replaced by a look of worry.

"You're test results were unusual to say the least," he starts, "Usually, each part eliminates a certain faction, the dog would eliminate either Dauntless or Amity, however when you refused to choose I had to manually move you to different test to try and rule out anything, as a result your results are inconclusive, you are suited for both Dauntless and Erudite." I stare at him for a moment my mouth gaping.

"What does that mean?" I ask, "Is inconclusive a bad thing?"

"Being inconclusive is very dangerous in this world, but not necessarily a bad thing. It's called being a Divergent." Amar said. "I am going to record your results as Erudite but the balls in your court now kid, you must decide what you want."

Later that night I sit in my room alone thinking about what Amar told me. I can't say I'm unhappy with the results but at the same time I'm scared. I'm happy because the results say I don't belong in Abnegation, but at the same time I'm worried about what being Divergent means. I decide to focus on my choice now and worry about my Divergence later, right now I need to decide if I belong to the Erudite or the Dauntless. On one hand I know it will hurt my father more if I choose Erudite, I know that going to them would free me from his abuse, but I can also find freedom with the Dauntless, whom I have envied my entire life. I think about my decision all night and until I arrive for the Choosing Ceremony. I am still undecided as I take my place next to Victoria around the meeting room. It is Amity's year to lead the ceremony so it takes slightly longer than usual to get everyone settled in, but not long enough for my tastes. I wish I had more time to decide between spite and longing. I watch as the first faction transfer is made, a girl from Candor choosing Amity above honesty. Soon Victoria is stepping forward and letting her blood drip into the Amity bowl. I am surprised, she seemed like the perfect little Abnegation girl, always so kind and quiet. My surprise passes as I step into the circle a knife is pressed into m hand and I make a shallow cut. I close my eyes and thrust my arm out between the Erudite and Dauntless bowls, to the right I can boil in my anger and let it choose my path for the rest of my life, to the left I can find freedom and a life I've always dreamed of. In that split second before I decide I realize there was never any real question as to where I would go. I open my palm over the Dauntless bowl and allow my blood to drip into it. The saying _Faction over blood,_ rings through my head as I go to stand behind the people who make up my new faction. I see my father across the way, his eyes flash slightly as they catch mine and then e turns away. I can practically hear his thoughts. I am now a traitor in his eyes, I am as good as the faction less as far as he is concerned. There will be no one to visit me when the Visiting Day comes around. I am no longer Tobias Eaton, son of Marcus, I am now Tobias the Dauntless. I have to say I like the way that sounds. I wish my name could be shortened to something more Dauntless, but Toby isn't exactly a name that causes people to quake in their boots,it sounds like an Amity name. I'll have to earn a new name.

The ceremony ends and all the Dauntless around my start to run, I share a look with the Erudite boy next to me and then take off after them. We race through the building and toward the train. Without a second of hesitation I run and pull myself into the moving compartment. I know this is the first test by the way the Dauntless around me smile. The boy who had been standing next to me is the next on. I see the only person to transfer from Amity, a small girl, misses her chance to get on the train, just like that she is faction less. I only hope my fate isn't the same as hers.

**A/N so what do you think? I love Four and really wanted to try my hand at his side of things so let me know, I will be updating often don't forget to R&R**


	2. Two Years Later

I stretched as I picked up the fax about this years initiates. After they found Amar's dead body I applied to train the faction transfers in his place, and hopefully help anyone who's Divergent, just like he did for me. Unfortunately that means I have to work with Eric. The papers finish printing and I pick them up as I walk out of the control room and toward my apartment. I have eleven initiates this year. A boy named Peter stands out to me, along with, a girl named Christina, Al, and Edward. These four seem to be the most promising. The last name on the list is Beatrice Prior. I do a double take, that name is familiar. Then I remember, a small blonde, with gray-blue eyes at my mother's funeral. I feel bad for the girl, she probably won't last past the first stage, and even if she does, she'll have it harder than the others, and not just because of the training needed. She'll be teased just as I was, probably called a Stiff the entire time. I cringe as I realize I'll have to call her that to, just to sow my loyalty to this faction. I throw my papers down on my bed and head toward the net. The initiates will be here soon and I need to be there to greet them. I wonder who will be the first to jump this year. Whoever it is usually winds up getting a high placement at the end of initiation. Two years ago I was the first to jump.

"Hey,Four!" A man's voice calls. Looking up I see Zeke jogging toward me. He slaps me on the shoulder as he starts walking next to me. "Any good initiates this year?" he asked. I shrug.

"A couple, and before you ask, no I do not know if Uriah stayed, I only have information on the transfers." Zeke frowns. He's one of the first people I ever met here at Dauntless and because of that we've become close. Due to this I know that he's annoyed with my quick answer.

"Fine." he says sourly. "You coming with us tonight?" he asks. I suppress a shiver. Zip Lining. Most Dauntless love it. However, I avoid it at all costs due to my fear of heights.

"Can't," I say instead of admitting to being afraid, "I have to make sure the initiates are ready and then I have my shift in the control room." Zeke sighs.

"If I didn't know any better I'd say, Ol' Four is afraid of heights." he laughs and I force myself to join him. No one will ever find out what happens in my simulations. No one can ever know about my four fears, my four secrets if you will. I elbow him as we reach the net.

"When do they get here?" Zeke complained seconds later. I roll my eyes, patience never was one of his strong suits.

"A few minutes, how long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule? It's not like it ever changes..." Zeke snorts.

"Why would I spend time actually memorizing when I have you around?" I'm saved from answering by the sound of a train overhead. Lauren smiles.

"I wonder who the top ten will be this year." she says.

"Defiantly all my initiates." I say with a laugh.

We all quickly gather around the net to see the first initiate. If I strain my hearing I can faintly hear Max yelling but can't make out all his words, not hat I really care what he has to say. Zeke turns to me.

"Who do you thinks coming down first?" he askes

"My bet is one of the Dauntless- born or maybe a Candor." I say although my mind is on the Abnegation girl most likely up above. Seconds later the first initiate comes into view, a flash of blonde and grey. I notice Zeke's mouth hanging open. Beatrice Prior seems to be a force to be reckoned with. He turns to me.

'Looks like you have competition..." The girl hits the net just then, a moment later she starts laughing. She sounds like she's hysterical but relived at the same time. I hold my arm out over the net and she grabs it. I pull her down and set her on her feet, releasing my grip quickly.

"Thank you." she says. I nod at her but she doesn't seem to notice too caught up in her new surroundings.

Lauren's voice comes from behind me " Can't believe it, a Stiff, the first to jump? Unheard of." I fight back my urge to snap at her. I like Lauren I really do but sometimes she's not very subtle, plus she was in my year, she knows it happened two years ago as well.

"There's a reason why she left them, Lauren." Then I turn to Beatrice "What's your name?" I ask as a formality and to give her a chance to change it if she wants. She hesitates. I smile slightly.

"Think about it." I say, "You don't get to pick again."

"Tris." she decides. Lauren repeats her

"Make the announcement, Four." she grins as she says this. It's obvious she has high hopes for Tris. So do I.

"First jumper- Tris!" I shout over my shoulder toward Zeke who will make the announcement. The others come running, half the faction comes in cheering. It always makes me smile to see them like this. Another body comes flying down. A girl by the sounds of her screams. Almost everyone laughs. I put my hand on Tris' back

" Welcome to Dauntless."

**A/N So what do you think? I personally enjoyed writing this Don't forget to R&R**


	3. Tours

I help the last initiate, Myra, off the net. Lauren and I take the lead as we head down the tunnel toward The Pit. My thoughts are on the Divergent however, not the familiar path. I suspect that Uriah is one already, I'm almost positive actually. I've known the kid for two years now and he's brave and kind. I'll have to be careful when he does the simulations. There's also a possibility that Tris is one, on the fax it said she scored Abnegation on the test, but the fact she's here suggests otherwise. I'll have to keep an extra eye on her to be sure though. We stop and Lauren addresses the groups.

"This is where we divide, the Dauntless born initiates are with me. I assume _you _don't need a tour of the place." she smiles and leads them away. I wait to address my group until after they are out of sight. I turn to them making an effort to appear stern.

"Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor." I say " My name is Four." I give them the nickname everyone knows me by, Amar really knew how to make them stick forever.

"Four?" a thin girl with dark skin asks, " Like the number?" I hold back on my instinct to face palm and instead narrow my eyes slightly at her as I answer.

"Yes, is there a problem with that?" I like my nickname, it reminds me of how far I've come since I left Abnegation.

"No." the girl says still looking like she needs to be knocked down a few notches.

"Good." I say, " We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It-" The insufferable ex- Candor pipes up again.

"The Pit? Clever name." I walk up to her and lean in close to her, if I wanted I could probably kiss her, but I'm trying to intimidate her, not make her fall in love with me.I narrow my eyes and just stare at her for a second.

"What's your name?" I ask quietly.

"Christina." she squeaks. If I wasn't so angry I probably would've laughed in her face.

"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction." I hiss. I know I probably look much older than her while I do this, even though there's only a two year difference.. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?" she nods looking scared I smirk as I start toward the Pit again. Hopefully that put her in her place, at least for now.

"What a jerk." I hear Christina mumble behind me. She really is very slow to catch on.

"I guess he doesn't like to be laughed at." Tris answers. I smile. If only her new friend would catch on as quickly as she did. I push the doors of the Pit open, revealing the now familiar paths. I watch the initiates faces as they take in their new surroundings. Some have their mouths hanging open, others have eyes the size of dinner plates, then there's Tris. She looks over the scene before her with critical eyes, not missing a detail by the looks of it.

"If you follow me, I'll show you the Chasm." I say as I lead the way over. The new initiates stand out among the Dauntless. They all have hair with only one shade, no facial piercings and no tattoos, yet. I'm sure by the end of the week they'll already have started to adapt to their new home. I know I got my first tattoo the first night I was here. The Dauntless emblem, I later added the other factions symbols but that wasn't until I became a member.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" I shout over the roar of the water. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You have been warned." At least one of the people standing before me will make that jump, it's only a question of who. In My year a boy named James made the jump. I still remember the look on Amar's face when he saw the body, like he could have done something to save him. Now I know he most likely was thrown over for being Divergent. It could have been me if not for Amar. I lead the initiates toward the dining hall. The Dauntless cheer for the initiates as we enter. Slamming their fists on the tables and whistling. Not at all like the polite greeting back in Abnegation. Now, usually I would load my plate and sit with Zeke, Shauna, their siblings, Lauren, and Eric would usually make an appearance at some point or another. However, today I decide to pretend to be social with the initiates. I sit next to Tris. Next to her sits the ever annoying Christina. Tris starts poking the burgers in the middle of the table and I resist the urge to laugh. Instead I gently nudge her with my elbow.

"It's beef. Put this on it." I hand her the container of ketchup. She eyes the food nervously.

"You've never had a hamburger?" Christina asks her, already halfway through her own.

"No, is that what it's called?" Tris asks. I forgot how plain Abnegation food is, I don't miss that either.

"Stiffs eat plain food." I say and nod toward Christina.

"Why?"

Tris shrugs "Extravagance is considered self indulgent and unnecessary." she says.

"No wonder you left." Christina smirks.

"Yeah, it was just because of the food."Tris rolls her eyes as she says this. I try to suppress my grin but I don't think i did a very good job. Suddenly the usually loud room falls nearly silent. My eyes travel over my shoulder just as Eric enters the room. I try not to groan.

"Who's that?" Christina hisses.

"His name is Eric. He's a Dauntless leader." I say, leaving out that I turned down the position so it was given to the second best.

"Seriously?He's so young." I look at Christina gravely.

"Age doesn't matter here." she looks like she's going to ask more but Eric starts toward our table and I tens slightly preparing myself for what I'm sure will be another one of Eric's attempts to provoke me. He drops himself into the seat next to me. I don't introduce the girls to him since he won't care anyway.

'Well, aren't you going to introduce me?" he nods toward Tris and Christina. I introduce them quickly.

"ooh, a Stiff." Eric smirks over at Tris. I don't like that look. That's a look he gives when he's planning something. "We'll see how long you last." Tris looks like she's struggling for something to say but comes up blank.

"What have you been doing lately, Four?" the slime ball asks. I lift a shoulder in a half shrug

"Nothing, really." I want him to leave. Eric is arrogance and hubris personified. I loathe him.

"Max tells me he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don't show up. he requested that I find out what's going on with you." Eric says.I just look at him before answering

"Tell him I am satisfied with the position I currently hold." I say trying to keep my voice even.

"So he wants to give you a job."

"So it would seem." I say.

"And you aren't interested." Eric says. I know him well enough to see his trying not to look stunned. He had the same look when he found about my four fears. Trying not to be impressed and failing.

"I haven't been interested in two years."

"Well, let's hope he gets the point, then." Eric says. He claps my shoulder hard and I resist the urge to shrug him off and/ or punch him. As he leaves I notice the girls slouch back. I myself stay tense.

"Are you two... friends?" Tris asks. I try not to laugh.

"We were in the same initiate class. He transferred from Erudite." I've never met a curious Abnegation before, hopefully the questions are over for now.

"Were you a transfer too?" he asks. One thing I don't like is people asking too many questions.

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions," I say coldly. "Now I've got Stiffs, too?" Hopefully she gets the hint and drops this subject, permanently.

"It must be because you're so approachable." she pauses for a second before continuing. "You know. Like a bed of nails." I give her a look that would leave most newbies trembling but she stares right back at me. She doesn't look away once. I find myself half annoyed and half curious. I wonder how much it would take to break her. I dismiss the thought quickly.

"Careful, Tris." is all I say. I try to tune out the girls as I finish my soon as it's over I make a dash up to the control room, leaving the initiates with Eric. I really don't want to do it but I'm so close to finally cracking in to the Erudite file I can't wait any longer.

Three hours later I walk back to my apartment, a huge stack of papers under my arm, and a content smile on my face. I finally got it, now I only have to figure out what this all means.

**A/N I had so much fun writing this Four is such an interesting character to work with. What did you think? Good? Bad?**


	4. Tattoos

I wake up around three am and head toward the pit. I want to get my tattoo finished before I have to go train the newbies. Tori's already there waiting for me. She smiles as I approach.

"Hey, Four!" she says as I follow her into the back room.

"Hey, Tor." I say. Tori and I bonded over her brother Georgie's death. At the time we were told it was suicide but now the two of us believe he was Divergent. She's the only person I trust enough to let permanently mark my skin and so far she's never let me down, not once.

"All done." She says a few hours later. I look at the flames on my side and smile.

"Great job." I say. She laughes and rolls her eyes.

"No need to act so suprised." she says, "It's not like I've ever let you down before." I laugh.

"Well, I can never be too careful, especially with a sneaky needle wielding psycho like yourself." she shoves me.

"Get out of my shop you useless bum!" I walk toward the training room and stretch a little before everyone gets here. As soon as they all arrive, still rubbing sleep for their eyes, I start handing out guns.

"The first thing you will learn today is how to shoot a gun. the second thing is how to fight." I press a gun into Tris's tiny hand, pointedly looking ahead as I continue. "Thankfully,if you are here,you already know how to get on and off a moving train, so I don't need to teach you that." I finish handing out the guns and stand in front of the initiates. "Initiation is divided into stages. We will measure your progress and rank you according to your performance in each stage. The stages are not weighed equally in determining your final rank, so it is possible, though difficult, to drastically improve your rank over time." I notice Tris and a few other looking at the weapons in their hands with awe. "We believe that preparation eradicates cowardice, which we define as the failure tp act in the midst of fear. Therefor each stage of initiation is intended to prepare you in a different first stage is primarily physical: the second, primarily emotional: the third primarily mental."

"But what.." the one I recognize as Peter yawns. "What does firing a gun have to do with bravery?" I decide to scare him a little, so I flip my gun and press the barrel into his forehead, just as I would if I were trying to blow his brains out and click the bullet into place. I do this so quickly he doesn't have enough time to realize what's going on until I've stopped.

"Wake. Up." I snap. "You are holding a loaded gun, you idiot. Act like it." I lower my gun and see the idiots eyes harden. I expect him to have some stupid sarcastic remark but surprisingly, and wisely, he keeps his mouth shut.

"And to answer your question..." I continue, " you are far less likely to soil your pants and cry for your mother if you're prepared to defend yourself." I spin on my heel toward the targets. "This is also information you may lead later in stage one. So, watch me." I spread my feet shoulder width apart and hold the gun out straight in my arms. I breath in. As i release the breath I pull the trigger and send the bullet to bury itself in the center of the target. I smirk as I turn around and watch the initiates try to copy me. I try not to laugh as Tris is thrown back due to the force. The other initiates aren't much better, but I do see Peter and Edward hit the targets after a couple tries. As i watch the boy named Will speaks with Tris. A second later she fires and actually hits the target. It wasn't a great shot but it's much better than her previous ones, especially the one that actually hit her friend Christina' s target. By the time we dismiss for lunch they have all succeeded in hitting the center of the target multiple times. I have to say I'm impressed. It took last years group more than one morning to achieve that.

At luch I sit with Zeke and we watch the initiates interact eith one another. It appears Myra and Edward are dating. My thought is confirme when they kiss. I elbow Zeke and gesture toward Tris.

"Check out the Stiff's face..." I mutter. "It's priceless." Zeke looks over toward the table she shares with Christina Al, and now Will. Tris' eyes are the size of plates but she quickly turns away and busies herself with her food. Zeke snorts.

"You weren't much better." he points out. "If I remember correctly the forst time you saw people kiss you dropped your plate in your lap." I laugh with him at the memory.

"After initiation is over you should ask the Abnegation girl out, if she makes it of course." Zeke says once he clams down. I choke on my roll.

"W-what?" I gasp. Zeke laughs.

"You keep gravitating toward her, admit it!" Zeke is practically yelling but no one notices. "You dig her!" I turn bright red and mumble. Lauren plops down next to me and steals Zeke's cake.

"Hey, guys!" she says while shoveling it in. "What's up?"

"Four likes the Abnegation chick!" Zeke answers. I get up and storm away. After lunch I lead my initiates to the gym.

"As I said this morning, next you will learn how to fight. The purpose of this is to prepare you to act; to prepare your body to respond to threats and challenges- which you will need if you intend to survive life as a Dauntless. We will go over technique today, and tomorrow you will start to fight each other. So, I recommend that you pay attention. Those who don't learn fast will get hurt." I show them the basics and demonstrate them. Then I dismiss them to try for themselves. A few of them catch on quickly, even getting the bags to swing wildly in some cases, while others like Tris take a few minutes of trial and error before finally getting the jist of the exercise. I walk around and give a few pointers but nothing too major. When I reach Tris, I analyze her stance and movements. She's pretty good for a Stiff.

"You don't have much muscle, which means you're better off using your knees and elbows. Yo can put more power behind them." I reach out and put my hand on her stomach, not missing the fact it covers the entire thing. "Never forget to keep tension here." I say quietly. I would've said more but for some reason her widened eyes mesmerize me. I try not to think of Zeke's words from lunch and Tris's eyes until I dismiss them for dinner. As they leave I hear the girl Christina and Tris talking. Christina says I scare her and Tris agrees though there is some hesitation in the way she answers, almost like she doesn't completely agree. i shake my head as the door closes behind them. It was peaceful for a whole two seconds before Lauren, Zeke, and Shauna come barreling in. Zeke pulls me into a head lock.

"Admit you have a thing for the Stiff!" he commands digging his knuckles into my head. I smirk as I grab his wrist and pull myself free.

"I don't." I say quietly. Lauren rolls her eyes.

"You don't my ass!" she snaps. "The sooner you admit it the better!" I roll my eyes.

"I don't like the Stiff, you three need to stop trying to set me up with every girl you meet." I exclaim. Shauna scoffs.

"We'll stop when you admit that you are lonely and are in desperate need of a girl in your life!" I simply roll my eyes and walk out of the gym, effectively closing this conversation, for now.

**A/N Please please R&R I want to know what you think!**


	5. Fighting

**CalebPrior: Thank you so much I feel like he's attracted to her but he doesn't realize it I don't want him to really fall for her until later and I agree some people make it tooo fast **

I always hated they days we had to fight one another. It was always so hard not to have hard feelings toward your friends if they beat you or to gloat if you beat them. It's even harder now that I have to pick who fights who. I decide Tris is the least prepared so I'll give her the morning off. They all shuffle in as I finish writing the pairings on the board.

"Since there are an odd number of you,one of you won't be fighting today." I look at Tris as I say this, she relaxes visibly when she sees her name. Will and Al are up first. This fight could go anywhere from three seconds to twenty minutes. Al might be bigger and stronger but Will is fast and smarter. A fairly even match if you ask me. As I watch Al hits Will in the jaw, not too hard but enough for Will to stumble slightly. Eric smirks when he sees this and twirls his latest piercing. Will makes a nice block at Al's next attack but the jaw shot is still slowing him down. He's going to need to bounce back quicker than that if he wants to survive here. Al hesitates for a second and Will takes him down quickly. I almost smile at that. Then Al gets back up and the two circle each other slowly, looking for an opening. They keep looking at me like I'm going to stop the fight but I just keep my arms crossed and watch them. Next to me Eric checks his watch.

"Do you think this is a leisure activity?" he shouts after a couple seconds. "Should we break for nap-time? Fight each other!"

"But..." Al lowers his guard, "Is this scored or something? When does the fight end?"

"It ends when one of you is unable to continue." Eric says, I can hear his patients wearing thin. I decide to step in.

"According to Dauntless rules, one of you could also concede." I say. Eric narrows his eyes at me.

"According to the _old _rules" he says pointedly, "In the _new _rules, no one concedes."

"A brave man acknowledges the strength in others." I say trying to keep my voice even.

"A brave man never surrenders." Eric snaps back. We just stare each other down for a few seconds. Daring the other to back down. He's not really Dauntless, he is ruthless. He is everything I hate about what this faction has become, a pack of adrenaline junkies looking for their next hit. I hope to never be anything like him.

"This is ridiculous," Al says breaking the tension. "What's the point of beating him up? We're in the same faction!"

"Oh, you think it's going to be that easy?" Will says a dangerous grin on his face. "Go on. Try to hit me, slowpoke." The kids determined I'll give him that. Al punches at him a few times but Will is faster aand is able to duck and dodge all the attacks. Will ducks and get a solid kick to Al's back. Al whips around and grabs Will, punching him in the jaw. The light leaves the kids eyes as he slips to the ground. Al drops to the ground and starts tapping Will's cheek, like that's actually going to do anything. After a few minutes he blinds but doesn't attempt to move.

"Get him up." Eric says, his lips turned in a cruel half smile. I circle Al's name to show that he won."Next up- Molly and Christina!" Eric yells. Al drags Will's semiconscious body off the mat. I grab him around the waist and lead him out. I half drag him to the infirmary where I pretty much drop him on an open bed and tell the doctor what happened. She'll fix him up in no time. I take one of the high paths ov the Chasm. As I'm walking back I see a crowd of people around the Chasm. I hear Eric's voice over the roar of the water.

"Climb over it." he says. I look over and see he has Christina pressed up against the railing. As I watch she says something I can't hear.

"Climb over the railing." Eric says slowly but loud enough that everyone can hear. "If you hang over the chasm for five minutes, I will forget your cowardice. If you can't I will not allow you to continue initiation." If she can't do it she dies, it doesn't matter if he lets her continue or not, if she slips her entire life is gone before she can even scream. She steps over the rail and holds on with a white knuckled grip, her face set. She seems fine for the first minute or so but then the river hits her. She's left holding on by only her fingertips. I see her cry out. Her sobs reach even me up above looking down on the situation. All of us gathered around hear her. To my right I see Lauren press her lips together. Zeke is behind her cheering Christina on quietly. I hear Al's voice down below cheering her on.

"One minute left!" a girls voice cheers. "Come on, Christina!" Al and the other voice join together as they cheer her on. A wave knocks Christina loose and I hear two girly screams, one from Christina and one from what I now recognize as Tris. She doesn't fall but just barely holds on.

"Five minutes are up," Lauren sighs. She and Zeke walk over to me as Al and Tris help Christina over the barrier.

"Where were you when Eric decided to dangle initiates?" Lauren asks.

"Infermery with another one." I say, shaking my head. "Eric's gonna kill them all if he keeps this up." I mumble. The others nod in agreement.

"Yesterday, he put one of mine in a choke hold because she didn't want to throw a knife at Uriah." Lauren says? Zeke growls.

"If that piece of crap hurts my brother it will be him dead next to the train tracks." he snarls. "Now, we need a subject change before I go split his face in two."

"So did you think about our conversation last night?" Lauren asks with a smirk.

"I do not have a thing for the Stiff, the sooner you wrap your numb skulls around that the better." I snap. Zeke holds up his hands in mock surrender.

"Fine! Fine, you don't think you like her." he says and I know that's the best answer I'm going to get from him.


	6. Startling Realization

**Lynn: I know all my friends do that to me that's why I did it like that ;) Also I figured Four must have some friends who are as "evil" as mine. I'm glad you like it I try really hard, and I Update like twice a day because it's fun... Oh and that happened to me and that's what's going to happen to Four mwahahaahaha**

**Guest: Thanks!**

Eric stops me as I'm working on today's fight match up.

"Put the Stiff with Peter," he says.

"Why the hell would I do that?" I snap. I may not have feelings for the girl but I don't really want to see her beaten to a bloody pulp.

"Because I told you to and because she had the day off yesterday and she needs to prove herself." he answers with a smirk.

"Why don't we pair her with someone like Christina or Al?" I ask.

"Why do you care so much? You don't have feelings for her do you?" Eric raised his overly pierced eyebrow at me. I snort.

"I just think that Peter should get to fight someone more his speed, like Edward."

"Well, the girl has to prove herself so she fights Peter." Eric says, "And that's final." I sigh as I write the names on the board. Al and Tris are the first to arrive, they're having a conversation as Tris looks up at the board and freezes. She looks like she's about to cry when Christina comes in.

"Oh no," she says. "Are they serious? They're really going to make _you_ fight_ him?"_ I sigh as I go to stand next to Eric. She's going to bleed to death before Eric lets her out. Molly and Edward take to the mat. The two circle each other before Molly lunges at him. He quickly steps aside and a well aimed kick makes her stumble. They go on like this for a few minutes,until Edward slams his fist into her jaw and she drops like a stone. Next up is Tris and Peter. Peter reminds me of Eric when we were in have the same cocky attitude, the same attitude and the same way of taunting.

"You okay there, Stiff?" he says. "You look like you're about to cry. I might go easy on you if you cry." I fight my urge to hit him. I pull my arms in tighter against my chest and press my lips together. She does look like she's going to cry. Eric's annoying foot tapping isn't helping matters either.

"Come on, Stiff. Just one little tear. Maybe some begging." She kicks at his side, would've been a good shot too, if Peter hadn't expected it. He caught her foot and she hit the ground, hard. Why do I care so much? She's just a kid from Abnegation, I have no love for their kind.

"Stop playing with her," Eric snaps. "I don't have all day." I bite back a growl. Peter punches Tris hard. She staggers. He kicks her in the stomach and she falls, but gets up quickly, though she's swaying slightly. He grabs her hair and drags her down with it. I have never wanted someone to get knocked out so bad before in my life. I ask myself again why I care. Lauren and Zeke's voices ring in my head. _You like her! _I dismiss the thought. I tell myself I only care because I still see the little girl who was at my mothers "funeral." Peter hits her in the jaw and I shove off the wall and leave the room. I can't watch her get pummeled anymore. I run into Zeke in the hall.

"Hey, Four, why aren't you with the initiates?" he asked, falling into step next to me.

"I can't watch the fight that's going on anymore." I snap. "Eric paired Peter with the little Abnegation girl and it disgusts me." Zeke laughs.

"It's because you like her that you can't watch." he says. I glare at him.

"I can't watch because it's pathetic!" I snap. "It's like the girl isn't trying to protect herself at all!"

"How many fights has the girl been in?" he asks

"This is the first one." His jaw dropped.

"But Peter's huge and no kid from Abnegation, no offense, is ready to fight someone like that after only three days of training!" I shake my head.

"If i remember correctly, I kicked your ass with only two days of training..." I point out. Zeke punches my shoulder.

"Well you are the legendary, Four." he says sarcastically. "Why would Eric pair them up, anyway?"'

"Probably because he wants to show me how superior the other factions are to Abnegation or something."

"Or maybe he sees how much you like her!"

"I don't like her!" Zeke rolls his eyes at me.

"If you don't like her then pigs can fly!" Just then a kid runs past us holding a piggy bank over his head. He tripped and it flew out of his hands and shattered. I started cracking up.

"See pigs do fly and I don't like Tris!" Zeke throws his arms up in exasperation.

"You like her, admit it Four! You have emotions just like every other human being!"

"I prefer my computer to organic lifeforms such as yourself..." I informed him. Just then Lauren walks by.

"Hey, Lauren, Guess what!" Zeke yells. "Four has actual human emotions!" I throw my hand over his mouth.

"I have a reputation to uphold you know." I hiss. He rolls his eyes and bites me. "Disgusting." I wipe my hand on his sleeve as Lauren joins us.

"What do you mean emotions,did someone reprogram you or something?" she laughs. I narrow my eyes at her.

"He actually feels sympathy now!" Zeke says too loudly. Lauren looks at me with a question in her eyes.

"Eric paired the Abnegation girl with Peter." I say. She looks at me sadly.

"He's going to kill us all if we aren't careful..." I nod at her. Just then Will and Al come running past us carrying a bruised and bloodied body of a blonde girl. They stop when they see me.

"Four, where's the infirmary?" Al gasps.

"Down the hall... what happened?" I try not to stare at Tris, one of her eyes is already swelling shut.

"Peter." Will says. "He used her as a human punching bag." With that the two rush down the hall. I realize something as they go, i may not like Tris like Zeke and Lauren seem to think but I defiantly care about her, at least a little bit.


	7. Field Trip

I groan as I roll out of bed the nest morning. I'm supposed to take the initiates to the fence this morning, but it's one of those days I just do not want to get up. I quickly shower and dress before running down to grab a muffin before going to wait by the tracks for the initiates. Tris and Christina arrive just as the train approaches. I step back slightly so some of the initiates can jump on before me, but I'm still close enough to feel the wind from the passing train. I love the feeling of it, it feels like freedom. I grab the handle after Will and pull myself in relatively smoothly. Tris is the last to attempt to get on. she would've missed and failed initiation if Al hadn't pulled her up.

"Feeling okay there? Peter asks. He makes a face like he's being sympathetic. "Or are you a little... Stiff?" His friends join him in laughing. If that joke wasn't so pathetically old it might have been funny, but it's been around forever and hasn't been funny, ever.

"We are all awed by your incredible wit," Will says.

"Yeah, are you sure you don't belong in Erudite, Peter?" Christina adds. "I hear they don't object to sissies." I decide to but in before this gets any uglier.

I turn away from my perch by the door. "Am I going to have to listen to your bickering all the way to the fence?" The car falls silent and I turn back to lean out of the door. The tracks aren't particularly high here so it's enjoyable. We pass the ruins of what was once an enormous city. Now the buildings are all crumbling and weather beaten. Christina and Tris start talking quietly behind me at one point but I ignore them. That is until Tris's voice penetrates my brain.

"Yeah, but I mean... past the farms. What are we guarding the city from?" The question rings Divergent to me. No Abnegation girl is that curious about what lies beyond. That sort of question just rings Erudite. her friend doesn't catch it though and wiggles her fingers at Tris

"Monsters!" They continue the conversation but I tune them out again. It looks like there are two Divergent this year, Uriah and Tris. I'll know for sure once we start stage two but I'll have to watch them just to be sure. The brakes squeal as we slide to a stop. I hop off the train and wait for the slowpokes to load off. Once they all join me on the ground I start speaking.

"Follow me," I start walking toward the fence and guard towers. A few people I recognize vaguely from the compound are milling around and checking an Amity truck as we approach.

"If you don't rank in the top five at the end of initiation you will probably end up here," I say as I stop at the gate. "Once you are a fence guard, there is some potential for advancement, but not much. You may be able to go on patrols beyond Amity farms, but-" Will cuts me off in typical Erudite fashion.

"Patrols for what purpose?" he asks. Even if I did know I wouldn't tell him.

"I suppose you'll discover that if you find yourself among them. As I was saying. For the most part, those who guard the fence when they are young continue to guard the fence. If it comforts you, some of them insist that it isn't as bad as it seems." Zeke is the only person to ever say that, and the only reason he said it was to calm down Hector one day. Christina leans over to whisper something to Tris. I'm about to scold them when Peter turns to me.

"What rank were you?" he asks. At first I don't want to answer but my rank is the one thing I'm truly proud of.

"I was first " I say levelly.

"And you chose to do _this_?" Peter's eyes look like they're about to fall out of his head. "Why didn't you get a government job?"

"I didn't want one." Hopefully, the idiot catches on and lets the subject drop. Our faction doesn't have much in the way of jobs, but there's always enough for everyone. We walk toward the fence where the Amity truck is idling.

"Beatrice?" one of the boys says. Weird we don't have a Beatrice. Then i remember Tris' real name. Wow, I really can be a moron sometimes, not often but sometimes. The boy hugs Tris awkwardly, it's obvious he was once Abnegation as well, you can tell be how awkward the hug is.

"Beatrice, what happened to you? What happened to your face?" I wonder if this was her boyfriend. I sure hope not.

Why do I care so much? She can date anyone she wants!

"Nothing," she says. "Just training. Nothing."

"_Beatrice?" _Molly demands. "Is that your real name, _Stiff?"_ _  
_

"What did you think Tris was short for?" Tris snaps back.

"Oh, I don't know... weakling?" Molly touches her chin like she's thinking, if only she had a brain. "Oh wait, that doesn't start with Tris. My mistake."

"There's no need to antagonize her," the boy says quietly. "I'm Robert, and you are?"

"Someone who doesn't care what your name is," Molly says rudely. "Why don't you get back in your truck? We're not supposed to fraternize with other faction members."

"Why don't you get away from us?" Tris snaps. I guess this is her boyfriend after all.

"Right. Wouldn't want to get between you and your boyfriend." Molly smiles as she walks away. The two of them turn pink around the edges. maybe they aren't dating after all.

""They don't seem like nice people." Robert says sadly.

"Some of them aren't." she says.

"You could go home, you know. I'm sure Abnegation would make an exception for you." Tris blushes.

"What makes you think I want to go home?" she asks. "You think I can't handle it or something?"

"It's not that." Robert shakes his head. "It's not that you can't, it's that you shouldn't have to. You should be happy."

"This is what I chose. This is it." she looks over his shoulder, almost like she can't wait for him to leave. "Besides, Robert. The goal of my life isn't just... to be happy." I wonder what that goal is.

"Wouldn't it be easier if it was, though?" he says. He touches her shoulder and runs to the truck before she can answer. I quickly ask Jackie, one of the guards on duty a question before walking over to Tris.

"I am worried that you have a knack for making unwise decisions." I say as I stop about a foot away from her. She crosses her arms.

"It was a two-minute conversation." she says.

"I don;t think a smaller time frame makes it any less unwise." Her eye looks like the socket might be fractured. i touch it lightly with my fingertips. She flinches away quickly but I continue to check it. I sigh.

"You know, if you could just learn to attack first, you might do better."

"Attack first?" she asks. "How will that help?"

"You're fast. If you can get a few good hits in before they know what's going on, you could win." I say. It's true. I could tell from the little bit i saw yesterday.

'I'm suprised you know that,"she says quietly. "since you left halfway through my one and only fight."

"It wasn't something I wanted to watch." _Why did I just say that? _I clear my throat in a desperate attempt to clear the tension that has now formed in the conversation. "Looks like a train is to go, Tris."


	8. Capture the Flag

The next morning while I'm just sitting down next to Zeke, Max stops me.

"So, how are the transfers doing?" he asks. I see Eric at the next table over scowl at his bran muffin.

"Great, we have a few that are very promising." I say with a smile. Max smiles in return.

'Great, keep up the good work." he says and leaves.

A second later Eric corners me.

"Capture the Flag tonight, rematch of our year, you in?" he asks. I smirk.

"Of course, I never turn down a way to kick your ass." I narrows his eyes at me.

"Whatever," he snaps. "Meet us in the Pit at nine." he storms off to go sulk or whatever it is he does when he's not up my ass. The day went by as a blur after that and at nine o'clock I'm in the Pit with Lauren, Eric, Zeke, and a few others. Zeke isn't playing but he's going to watch on the monitors.

"You have to beat him!" Zeke hisses to me. "Send him back to his cave in tears." I snort.

'Have I ever let him win, in anything?" I ask.

"Well, he is a Dauntless leader," Zeke says. I roll my eyes.

"I didn't let him win, I simply gave him what I rejected in the first place." Zeke laughs. Just then Eric gets up.

"Alright, we'll get the Dauntless-born first then the transfers. Four and I are the captains." Eric starts leading the group down the tunnels toward the dormitory. When we get there Eric yells and they all scurry to get ready and meet us. Next we go down the hall to the transfers. We hurry in and shine our flashlights everywhere.

"Everybody up!" Eric roars. Tris and I lock eyes for a second. She doesn't move as the others hurry to get clothes. All of them except Christina that is. She's standing next to Tris' bed in nothing but a T-shirt. She's actually pulling off the scary chick look pretty well despite that.

"Did you go deaf, Stiff?" Eric demands. Tris' eyes tear away from mine. Next to her the half naked wonder narrows her eyes at Eric. "You have five minutes to get dressed and meet us by the tracks." We arrive at the tracks barely a minute before all the initiates get there. Surprisingly only a few of them look bed wrangled or have there pajama's on under their clothes.

"Everyone grab a gun!" Eric yells over everyone. Lauren tosses me a gun and ammo, which I strap on and shove the box into my pocket.

"Time estimate?" Eric asks me.

"Any minute now. How long is it going to take you to memorize the train schedule?" I ask.

"Why should I, when I have you to remind me of it?" Eric shoves me shoulder in an almost friendly way. The train arrives barely a second later and I am the first one on. I turn around and hold out my arm to pull Tris on. She lets go quickly and sits on the other end of the car. Once everyone is in I start speaking.

"We'll be dividing into two teams to play capture the flag. Each team will have an even mix of members, Dauntless-born initiates and transfers. One team will get off first and hide their flag. Then the second team will get off and do the same." The car sways violently and I have to stop to grab the door frame. "This is a Dauntless tradition, so I suggest you take it seriously."

"What do we get if we win?" Someone shouts. It's defiantly one of the transfers.

"Sounds like the type of question someone not from Dauntless would ask," I raise an eyebrow as I say this. "You get to win, of course."

"Four and I will be your team captains." Eric says. He addresses me. "Let's divide up the transfers first, shall we?"

"You go first.' I say. I want to make sure my strategy will work. Eric shrugs.

"Edward." I lean back and nod. He's playing right into my idea. He'll go for muscle not speed, it would work in most other situations, except capture the flag. You need to be fast.

'I want the Stiff." I say. Tris blushes as there are some giggles behind her. They don't realize her potential. They underestimate her, just like they did with me.

"Got something to prove?" Eric asks with a smirk. "Or are you just picking the weak ones so that if you lose, you'll have someone to blame it on?" I shrug.

He doesn't realize how stupid he's being. "Something like that."

"Your turn."

"Peter."

"Christina."

"Molly."

"Will." I bite my thumb at Eric since it's an insult in Erudite. I don't think he notices.

"Al."

"Drew."

"Last one left is Myra. So she's with me." Eric says. "Dauntless-born initiates next."

"Uriah." I pick.

"Lynn."

"Marlene." Tris presses a hand over her mouth halfway through the Dauntless-born. At first I think she's going to trow up. Then I realize she figured out my plan. She knows I built the team for speed with a few exceptions, just to throw Eric off. When we finish Eric smirks over at me.

"Your team can get off second." he says.

"Don't do me any favors," I smile a little, he's playing right into my plan. "You know I don't need them to win."

"No, I know you'll lose no matter when you get off," Eric bites a lip ring. "Take your scrawny team and get off first, then." We all prepare to jump. I see Peter shove Tris as we get start jumping. I give him a warning look and he quickly backs away. We jump and start walking. Marlene touches my shoulder.

"When your team won, where did you put the flag?"

"Telling you wouldn't really be in the spirit of the exercise, Marlene." I say coolly.

"Come on, Four.' she wines. I resist my urge to laugh at her. She's gotten whiner since this started. I brush her hand off.

"Navy Pier." Uriah says. "My brother was on the winning team. They kept the flag at the carousel." Leave it to Zeke to tell his brother all about the game.

"Let's go there then," Will says. We start walking and I tune them out. I'm supposed to give these guys a chance to show their stuff, but it's hard not to take control of the situation. I want to split the group into three, two to go after the flag, one to distract, the other to grab, and one group to guard. Hopefully, someone will prove to be the real leader tonight. Marlene takes my flashlight and before I can take it back Uriah starts teasing her. She turns off the light and we walk in darkness the rest of the way. When the Ferris Wheel comes into view Will breaks the silence.

"Think about it. People used to ride that thing. For fun." Tris whispers something I don't catch and Christina says something about hanging from a bar.

"Dare you to jump in the marsh." Christina dares Will.

"You first." We reach the carousel and I pull the flag out of my pocket.

"In ten minutes, the other team will pick their location. I suggest you take this time to formulate a strategy. We may not be Erudite, but mental preparedness is one aspect of your Dauntless training. Arguably,it is the most important aspect."  
Will takes the flag from me and they all start talking at once. I go and sit on the carousel, watching the sky. I relax all my muscles and think about nothing. I try to forget that in a few minutes I'm going to go after Eric and hopefully shoot him, even if it is just with a paintball. I open my eyes to see Tris walking toward the Ferris Wheel and I frown and follow her. I reach her just as she grabs the first rung.

"Tris," I say quietly. She doesn't jump like expected but just turns her head to look at me over her shoulder.

"Yes?" she says.

"I came to find out what you think you're doing." I say.

"I'm seeking higher ground." she says. "I don't think I'm doing anything." I smile. She's tougher than she lets on.

"All right. I'm coming " I say. I regret it a second later when I realize how tall the thing is, but i can't back out now without looking like a coward.I have to make sure she's okay up there despite how scared I may be.

"I'll be fine." she says.

"Undoubtedly." I say. I believe her I just don't want her to go up alone just in case. I follow her relatively closely since I'm both taller and faster.

"So tell me..." I say quietly to distract myself from my racing heartbeat. "What do you think the purpose of this exercise is. The game, I mean, not the climbing."

"Learning about strategy. Teamwork, maybe." she says.

"Teamwork," I look down when I say this, and panic overtakes me. I try to turn my labored breaths into a laugh but I don't think Tris goes for it.

"Maybe not," she says. "Teamwork doesn't seem to be a Dauntless priority." That distracts me from the height for a minute.

"It's supposed to be a priority. It used to be." I wish it still was, it was one of the reasons I was so drawn to Dauntless in the first place. "Now tell me..." I say, again trying to distract myself. "what do you think learning strategy has to do with... bravery?" I have to pause and take a deep breath to calm myself. I don't hear her answer over my own panting.

"Are you all right, Four?" she asks.

"Are you_ human_ Tris? Being up this high..." I pause to gulp for air. "It doesn't scare you at all?" A gust of wind throws her off balance and I grab her waist. She pauses after I let go, gasping for breath.

"You okay?" I ask her quietly.

"Yes," she says in a strained voice. We climb the rest of the way in silence until we reach the scoots over so I have room to crouch against one of the supports.

"You're afraid of heights, how do you survive in the Dauntless compound?"

"I ignore my fear. When I make decisions, I pretend it doesn't exist." I say simply. She stares at me like she's just now seeing me for the first time. After a minute or so it starts to get awkward.

"What?" I ask quietly.

"Nothing." She looks out over the city you can't see anything at all for here, you have to go higher. Just as the thought hits me she voices it.

"I'm going to climb," she says. She stands on up and pulls herself up using one of the bars above our heads. Heights is defiantly not one of her fears.

"For God's sake, Stiff." I grumble but follow her anyway.

"You don't have to follow me," she says.

"Yes, I do."

"See that?" she says pointing over her shoulder. There's a flickering light in the distance. I smile.

"Yeah. It's coming from the park at the end of the pier. Figures. it's surrounded by open space, but the trees provide some camouflage. Obviously not enough." I say, scenarios are playing through my head now that I've seen the position of the flag. It'll be like taking candy from a baby.

"Um," she clears her throat. "Start climbing down. I'll follow you." I nod and take a step down. The navigation itself isn't too hand because I'm relatively tall, but I still hold on with an iron grip. Behind me there's a clattering sound like metal hitting metal.

"Four!" Tris screams. I look up and see Tris swinging her legs wildly trying to find another makes a strangled screaming noise. I wrack my brain for any idea to help her. I have an idea, a very dangerous one, that could kill her, or save her depending on how quickly she moves and if the wheel still works.

"Hold on!" I shout. "Just hold on, I have an idea." I climb down as quickly as I can without loosening my hold. The adrenalin in my system mostly blocks out my fear but not enough for me to be comfortable flying down a Ferris wheel. I slip as I reach the landing and quickly shimmy over the ladder.

"Four!" she yells. I don't waste time by answering but I speed up. She just needs to hold on a few more seconds. I reach the ground a few seconds later and slam my fist into the big green button on the control panel. There's some creaking as the wheel starts. I smile as Tris starts laughing. Halfway there, all she needs to do is jump and duck and we're home free. She drops from the bar and pulls herself into a tight ball using her momentum to roll. The car skims her shoulder but she doesn't get hurt. I leave the wheel running and jog over to her. She looks like she's on shock. I grab her wrists. I have to pull hard to get her hands away from her eyes.I wrap one of her hands in both of mine, trying to return warmth to her fingers.

"You all right?" I ask.

"Yeah." I start to laugh and she joins me a second later. We're sitting really close and surprisingly it's not uncomfortable in the least. In fact I kind of like it. I stand and drag her up with me.

"You could have told me that the Ferris wheel still worked," she says. "We wouldn't have had to climb in the first place."

"I would have, if I had known," I say. "Couldn't just let you hang there, so I took a risk. Come on, time to get their flag." I hesitate before grabbing her elbow and leading her back toward the others. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable with the contact but I'm afraid she'll go into shock if I don't keep her moving. I smile at her as we go. When we reach the carousel there are four of them left. All of them are lounging among the horses.

"Where'd the others go?" I ask. I feel like I'm exploding with energy.

"Did you guys turn the wheel?" Izzy asks. "What the hell were you thinking? You might as well have just shouted 'Here we are! Come and get us!'"she shakes her head at us.

"The wheel doesn't matter. We know where they are." I say.

"We?" Christina asks looking back and fourth between Tris and I.

"Yes, while the rest of you were twiddling your thumbs, Tris climbed the Ferris wheel to look for the other team," I say. Hopefully she sees how impressed I am and takes a page out of Tris' book. I look at Tris to give her plan. She tenses and then her eyes light up with an idea.

"Split in half," she says. "Four of us go to the right side of the pier, three to the left. The other team is in the park at the end of the pier, so the group of four will charge as the group of three sneaks behind the other team to get the flag."I amile. That's my girl.

Wait, _my _girl.

"Sounds good," Izzy says. "Let's get this night over with shall we?"Christina, Uriah, and Tris go to the right. Marlene, Izzy, Sarah, and I take the left. I am in the lead as we race toward the other teams guards. Marlene and I lunge out of the trees and start shooting off rounds as fast as we can. I shoot Eric a few times in the chest just to annoy him. Man it's fun to be childish sometimes. I see Uriah take out the last guard and the three of them race toward the flag. Christina and Tris appear to get into an argument over the flag and Christina grabs it. Soon everyone is whooping and cheering, on our team at least. Seeing Tris there I realize we are more alike than I originally thought. I put my hand on her shoulder.

"Well done."

**A/N I hope you liked this one, it took forever. Now the next chaper Veronica already wrote but I've decided I'm going to do my own take on it instead also I've decided Four won;t realize his feelings for tris until Peter almost kills her instead of before the knives like in Ms. Roth's version, I hope you don't mind**

**VickiXOXOXO**


	9. Knives

**Thank you everyone for your reviews!**

I despise knife throwing day. It has no practical use. It's only purpose is to impress others. I asked for it to be taken out of the training program this year, but Eric insisted it stay in place. Of course he would, seeing as he's the biggest show off I've ever met. The room had a set of wooden targets on one side and a table covered with typical handled knives for amateur knife throwers.

The faction transfers were lined up across from me, still baring the marks of their old factions, whether it be the straight backed Candor, the steady eyes Erudite and Tris, leaning onto her toes, ready to move on a seconds notice. By he end of training most of these traits will be gone. The Candor transfers will slouch along with the rest of us, he Erudite's eyes will become accustomed to scanning an area for threats, but Tris habits from Abnegation will only improve. Here you mus be ready to move at all times. You must be quiet at times, and selfless at others. That is why the Abnegation transfers almost never fail initiation.

"Tomorrow will be the last day of stage one," Eric says once everyone has settled in. "You will resume fighting then. Today, you'll be learning how to aim. Everyone pick up three knives. And pay attention while Four demonstrates the correct technique for throwing them." He looks in my direction while he says this but his eyes fall somewhere above my head. I hate it when he acts like this, like I'm his lackey or something. Like I didn't kick his ass, knock out his tooth, and place higher than him in our initiation. The initiates don't move at first. "Now!" he snaps. I hear a few of the initiates mutter about Eric's bad mood today. Not that he's ever in a good one. Judging from the look he gives me when he thinks I'm not looking, I can assume I'm the cause of said mood. My guess is that it's not just about beating him last night at capture the flag but also because Max approached me about the initiates instead of him. Max sees that I'm the better leader. If I had known the suffering Eric would cause the initiates I would've taken the job. If I hadn't planned on leaving the faction before the year was out I would've taken it.

I hold the knife tightly by the blade, getting the right balance. I breath in and pull my arm back, breath out and flick my arm forward releasing my knife as my arm straightens. It sails end over end and sinks into the center of the target. I repeat this two more times to give the initiates the chance to observe everything.

"Line up!" Eric orders once I'm done. I eave the knives as an example of what they can achieve if they put enough effort in. Most of the initiates start throwing the knives immediately, but Tris starts practicing without the knife. Her arm is awkward but as she practices without the weapon I see her elbows and shoulder start to tighten in the right way, she's improving without actually throwing the knife. Unfortunately, others seem to think she's lost her mind.

"I think the Stiff's taken too many hots to the head!" Peter says when he sees her. "Hey, Stiff! Remember what a _knife_ is?" I suppress my urge to tell him to shut up. Tris closes her eyes takes a deep breath. She throws the knife, awkwardly, but she still manages to hit the target. The first person to hit the target. Peter on the other hand misses once again. Tris smirks and calls over.

"Hey, Peter. Remember what a _target_ is?" Christina laughs and hits the target next. Eric eyes Tris closely. The look he gives her scares me. It's the same look he gave Amar before he turned up dead. That look probably means that he is suspicious of her being divergent. If he's suspicious of her that means all the leaders consider her a threat.

Within the next half hour everyone has succeed in at least hitting the target once. Everyone that is except Al. While all the other initiates pull their knives out of the board he picks his up off the floor. This doesn't escape Eric's notice. After a few more missed attempts, Eric marches over to him.

"How slow are you, Candor? Do you need glasses? Should I move the target closer to you?" Al throws his knife in response, it flies too far to the right and hits the wall. Al's screwed, royally at that. "What was that, initiate?" Eric says quietly leaning closer to Al. I really hope Al's smart enough to keep his mouth shut and let Eric abuse him instead of having to dangle over the Chasm or something even worse.

"It- it slipped." Al mumbles turning red. My hands tighten at my sides. This isn't going to be good. Eric has a rabid look in his eyes that I've only seen in them once before, during his first attempt at his fear simulation. When we were initiates it was the forst thing you did when you arroved at the compound. He didn't move the entire time he was in there, he screamed into clenched teeth and forced his heart rate and breathing to a normal pace.

"Well, I think you should go get it," Eric says dangerously low. His eyes scan the other initiates who have stopped throwing to watch the events. I groan quietly.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Eric says in the same voice.

"Go get it?" Al's eyes are wide with fear. "But everyone's still throwing."

"And?" Eric says.

"I don't want to get hit."

"I think you can trust your fellow initiates to aim better than you." Eric half smiles. "Go get your knife." I silently beg Al to do as he's told.

"No," he says.

"Why not?" Eric narrows his eyes. "Are you afraid?"

Don't admit to fear, especially to Eric.

"Of getting stabbed by an airborne knife?" Al says. "Yes, I am!" I groan internally this time. Honestly, was his mistake. The refusal Eric might have let pass, but admitting to fear is practically suicide. Not that I can blame him. He's from Candor, they learn from an early age to always tell the whole truth no matter what.

"Everyone stop!" Eric shouts. The knives stop completely along with any form of conversation. "Clear out the ring." Eric orders. "All except you." He adds to Al. "Stand in front of the target." This isn't good. If Eric throws the knives, Al's as good as dead. Eric's accuracy isn't great but Al's a big target and his eyes and throat are easy to hit. Al shakes as he approaches the target.

"Hey, Four," Eric looks over his shoulder at me. "Give me a hand here, huh?" I push myself off the wall I had been leaning on. i try to act casual as I scratch my eyebrow with the blade but I'm tense. I have to be perfectly accurate or I could kill the kid. Not exactly a stress free situation.

"You're going to stand there as he throws those knives, until you learn not to flinch."

"Is that really necessary?" I ask. I try to sound as bored as possible, but I know my body is tense and alert. I'm challenging him. Everyone knows it. We enter a sort of staring contest, daring the other to back down. Eric finally breaks the uneasy silence in the room.

"I have the authority here, remember?" He says quietly. So quietly I doubt anyone else really hears him. "Here, and everywhere else." In my anger I know blood rushes to my face and my grip on the knives tightens as I turn to Al. I can't throw the knives toward the edge of the target without Eric sensing weakness and taking over but I can throw directly above his head and maybe to the side. Al needs to stay perfectly still if I'm not going to hit him though. One little slip and he could get seriously hurt.

"_Stop_ it." I know it's Tris that says it due to how soft i s, like she expects to get lectured for speaking up. I shoot her a glare begging her to shut up and stand down. This is not a time to be selfless. It's a time to watch your own neck. I know I can't throw knives at her. I know she isn't just another initiate to me. She is a piece of home to me. She represents all the things I left behind when I left Abnegation.

"Any idiot can stand in front of a target," she says."It doesn't prove anything except that you're bullying us. Which, as I recall, is a sign of _cowardice._" No ones ever accused her of being gutless, I'll give her that. No one stands up to Eric unless they have a death wish.

"Then it should be easy for you," Eric says. "If you're willing to take his place." _Back down Tris, be selfish just this once. _She pushes her way forward and I suck in a deep breath.

"There goes your pretty face," Peter hisses as she passes. "oh, wait, you don't have one."I don't even register what he says since I'm so wound up about what I'm going to do. Seeing her stand there, in front of the target, she looks so small and delicate, like the tiny blue sculpture my mother gave me. Like the sculpture she's stronger thaan she looks. When I thought my mother had died I threw the thing at the wall in an attempt to destroy it, but it had thumped unbroken to the ground. I'm thinking of this as I turn to Tris at the target. She's unbreakable, just like the sculpture.

"If you flinch," I say, slowly, carefully, ""Al takes you place. Understand?" I half want her to flinch so I don't have to do this but she nods. I lock eyes with her as I draw back the knife and release it, aiming about six inches away from her. She closes her eyes once it's buried itself in the board, but I feel better when I look into her eyes are what's keeping me calm while I do this. They keep me from messing up.

"You about done, Stiff?" I ask. Her eyes snap open.

'No."

'Eyes open, then." I tap between my eyebrows. I need her to look at me. Why? I really don't know. I send the next knife flying just above her head.

"Come on, Stiff. Let someone else stand there and take it." Eric's practically hanging over my shoulder. I can tell he isn't happy I haven't hit her yet. I make a split second decision.

"Shut _up,_ Four!" she snaps. No one talks to me like that, everyone else is afraid to so much as look at me weirdly. I never expected such fearlessness from a little Abnegation girl. I twist the last blade and my hand. My aim needs to be absolutely perfect if I'm going to hit the quick heeling cartilage. I release the knife and try to give her a subtle apologetic look as she winces. Her eyes harden. She doesn't get that I nicked her to protect her. She doesn't get that I would never really hurt her. Unless her safety depended on it that is. I'm not in love with her but she is just too much like me not to take notice of. She is me two years ago in a slightly smaller and feminine body.

"I would love to stay and see if the rest of you are as daring as she is," Eric says in a falsely impressed voice. He only barely covers his true reluctance to leave. He really would love to use the initiates as targets. "but I think that's enough for today." He squeezes his shoulder and smiles at her. She looks uncomfortable and if I'm not mistaken slightly scared and defiantly angry.

"I should keep my eye on you," he adds, just loud enough for me to hear. I feel fear for her. He's onto her Divergence. He knows she's special. She could wind up dead at any moment. I can't let that happen. I have to protect her just like Amar did for me. The room empty's around Tris and I until we are the last two there. I walk over to her after the door slams behind everyone.

"Is your-" I start.

"You did that on _purpose_!" She screams.

"Yes, I did," I say quietly. "And you should thank me for helping you." She grinds her teeth together. \

"_Thank you_?" You almost stabbed my ear, and you spent the entire time taunting me. Why should I thank you?" Man, she can be thick sometimes.

"You know, I'm getting a little tired of waiting for you to catch on!" I glare at her a little. It's like she doesn't see that she's different than the others. Like she doesn't see that I could never really hurt her. She doesn't see that Eric is gunning for her now, and he's even more suspicious after her last little display.

"Catch on? Catch on to what? That you wanted to prove to Eric how tough you are? That you're sadistic, just like he is?" She thinks I'm like Eric? I want to reach out to her again, but I won't do it if she thinks I'm anything like him.

'I am not sadistic." I say quietly as I lean in close to her. Her eyes widen with fear slightly. "If I wanted to hurt you, don't you think I would have already?" I storm across the room and slam the knife into the table. I hear her frustrated scream echo after me in the hall, but I keep moving. I reach my apartment and slam my fist into the closed door. _What makes her think I'm anything like Eric? I don't go out of my way to hurt anyone, I've never even really yelled at her. Hell, I treat her better than all the other initiates. _

__**A/N What do you think? It's personally not my favorite so far but I tried. So pretty please R&R I shoud update tomorrow.**


	10. Ruthless

Zeke and I are sitting in the cafeteria when we hear the rumors. Mutters of "Stiff flashed some skin," and "Peter pulled the towel ," where everywhere. Zeke half laughed when we finally pieced the story together. Apparently, Tris came out of the showers in a towel in search of clothes, Drew, Molly, and Peter where there and Peter managed to yank it off her. I really don't know why that upsets me so much. I mean, that sort of thing happens every year. Zeke finds the whole thing hysterical.

"Woah, I didn't know Stiff's had bodies under those clothes." He says for what must be the fifth time. I roll my eyes.

"You do know that I am Abnegation born, right?"

"I remember, but I also remember you would not get dressed around the rest of us, and you still insist on wearing the most covering things you can find in the compound," he pointed out. That's not a lie. I guess almost sixteen years of baggy grey clothes have made me uncomfortable with showing even my arms. I roll my eyes at Zeke.

"I think the Stiff's going to be out for blood today." he says after a few minutes. I shake my head.

"She's the type of person who'll plot a revenge that can't be traced back to her. She'll plan something and then make them pay." I say.

"I don't know man, Stiffs are ruthless when they're angry."

"How so?" I ask.

"Remember the time, when we were initiates, when Eric wrote on your bunk?" I nod. "If I remember correctly, the net day you knocked his tooth out and proceeded to beat him to a bloody pulp." I smile at the memory. It's one of the few fights I've been in that I'm actually proud of.

"I guess, I'll see during the fights today."

About an hour later I'm writing today's pairings on the board when Tris enters the training room. She looks at the board as her friends ask about where she's been. She has a new look on her face today. She looks fiercely determined and out for blood. It's a scary look on her usually calm face. I put her with Molly. Hopefully, it isn't blood lust in her eyes. Hopefully, she's just embarrassed. I also put Edward and Peter together, mostly because I feel like if the rumor is true Peter needs to be beaten down a few notches. I lean against the wall and yawn as Will and Myra start to make small hits toward one another. It's pretty sad to watch really. Will wins in the end. Next up is Al and Christina. It's quick and relatively painless, Al hasn't won a fight since Will. Both Eric and I know he fakes getting knocked out so he doesn't have to hurt any one. He's too soft to be a true Dauntless. he won't make it past the simulations. It's a pity because he's so strong, but he's too kind.

By the end of Peter and Edward's fight Tris looks calmer. That is until she starts walking toward the arena. Suddenly that fierce look is back in her eyes, this time with a vengeance. Molly looks too confident up there. She doesn't see how angry Tris is. She doesn't see that Tris is out for blood. Today, Tris won't lose. Today, Tris will win. They stand facing each other for a minute.

"Was that a birthmark I saw on your left butt cheek?" Molly taunts. It doesn't bother Tris, she's waiting for Molly to attack. "God, you're pale, Stiff." I see Eric stifle a laugh out of the corner of my eye. He would find three people torturing a fourth funny. Molly lunges forward to punch Tris. Tris ducks and drives her fist into her stomach. Molly lunges again but Tris darts out of the way again. Molly punches yet again, and this time Tris blocks with her arm. Molly snarls like an animal and kicks out at Tris. She elbows her face. Molly moves at the last second and the blow only grazes her chin. They both have their arms too high, leaving their ribs and stomach open. Tris sees this before Molly has a chance. She delivers a sharp bow just below the belly button. Then she knocks her legs out from under her and kicks her hard in the ribs. Tris looks venomous as she kicks repeatedly at Molly's curled form. Hitting her side, face , stomach, pretty much everywhere and anywhere she can reach.

I look over at Eric and he nods, I start toward Tris quickly while he calls for a doctor. I reach Tris just as she's about to hit Molly's face again. I grab her arms and have to use most of my strength to pull her away. She's breathing heavily through clenched teeth, her hair falling onto her sweat cover forehead. Her eyes never leave Molly's face as I drag her away. A sick smile, that doesn't belong on Tris face, twists her features as Molly groans and gurgles on the ground.

"You won," I mutter. "Stop." She wipes the sweat from her forehead. This isn't Tris. This isn't the piece of home I've come to know over the last few weeks. This is a Ruthless girl set on getting her vengeance. Set on getting her pride back. Her eyes remind me of Eric's the first time he won a fight. The thought scares me. But this isn't Tris, at least not the real one.

"I think you should leave," I say, hoping my voice is steady. "Take a walk." The frantic look in her eyes dulls, but only slightly.

"I'm fine," She says. "I'm fine now." she repeats to herself. I study her to see the guilt I figure she must be feeling. After all in Abnegation self defense isn't allowed, let alone full out fighting. But instead of guilt and apologies I see determination and some pride in her eyes.

She has truly become Dauntless.

**A/N I was feeling inspired today, so heres a second chapter :) I like this one alot I hope you do to please R&R**

**This is an edit because I posted in a half asleep state without spell checking. Thank you to frufruit for pointing out my mistakes and her sister for being so supportive :)**


	11. Visiting Day

It's always been depressing on Visiting Day. I've never had anyone come and visit. Last year I went to Amity to see Victoria, after all we had been friends when we were younger. Only it turns out she left and became faction-less. I haven't heard anything about her since, not even from my mother, but I can't bring myself to care.

I'm especially nervous today because of Tris. I know her father works with mine. If anyone were to recognize me as Tobias it would be them. I avoided meeting Tris and her brother, Conner I think, because I didn't want to make friends with anyone I would have to leave behind when I left. I couldn't avoid the parents however. Tris may not know who i really am but I know if her mother or even father shows up they'll know immediately.

I don't expect to see any grey today, though. Tris is now considered a traitor of sorts to Abnegation. When she chose to leave, like I did, she chose to leave her family and their values as well. The few that leave that faction are never really forgiven or forgotten. I know for a fact they still see my leaving as a betrayal. Tris is just as big a traitor as I am, maybe even worse. After all, I know her brother chose to leave only seconds before she did. The papers use her choice as a sign that her father isn't a good leader.

I know Eric is giving the initiates his usual advice. "Don't look to attached. Don't show emotion. _Faction before blood._" It's the same thing he said last year. It wasn't like this when we were initiates. We were encouraged to approach our families. When asked, Amar would say that the greatest bravery is being able to say good bye to those you love after suck a short time of being together. I didn't realize how right he was at the time. In fact, I whole-heartily disagrees. I thought that true bravery was being able to jump out of trains, shoot guns, and face your fears. That's part of it, but saying good-bye is as well. I see my initiates parents meeting up with their children for the first time since leaving. Will is with a woman that looks to be his sister, Peter's parents are here as well. I wonder if they know how cruel he is. Then again, all these outsider families probably see us all as cruel. A flash of Abnegation grey flashes by me. I cringe.

From where I stand I can see Tris approach her mother. At first it doesn't look like she recognizes her. Then they're hugging, gripping each other tightly. It's almost too private to watch. They approach the chasm and continue talking. Her mother looks tired and drawn as they talk. Almost like she's angry. Only the Abnegation never get angry, just like they aren't selfish. I wonder if my father ever thinks of visiting. After all, anger is selfish. I already know the answer. I know he would never visit me, just like I would never visit him. He knows I don't want him here in my haven. Where I came to get away from him. He knows I left not just because I don't believe in Abnegation values, but also because he was abusive and cruel. He's the exact opposite of what Abnegation should be. I look up to see Tris looking in my direction. She says something to her mother, who replies, then nods. The older woman laughs and starts walking. I realize too late she's coming to see me. I can't help the shiver of fear that passes through me as she reaches me. _She can't recognize me._

"Hello. My name is Natalie," she says, her arm extended. "I'm Beatrice's mother." It's odd to hear someone call Tris that. After what I saw from her yesterday, it doesn't really fit her like her nickname does. I awkwardly shake the woman's hand. One of the few things I never adjusted to in Dauntless was the hand shaking thing. It's awkward for me, just as I know it is for the woman in front of me.

"Four," I say. "It's nice to meet you." Maybe if I pretend I don't remember her she won't recognize me.

"Four," she repeats, with a smile. It's sort of scary how kind her smile is. It's strange to see after the past two years. "Is that a nickname?"

"Yes." I say. I need to change the subject, quickly! "Your daughter is doing well here. I've been overseeing her training." Tris' eyes flash a little. I can tell she's thinking about the knives. If only she understood.

"That's good to hear. I know a few things about Dauntless initiation, and I was worried about her." I hide my surprise by looking at Tris, scanning her body if you will. How could this little Abnegation woman know anything about our initiation? Not many people outside the compound know anything, and those who do are forced to keep it quiet.

"You shouldn't worry." I say, my mind still reeling. Her husband is a government official, maybe he told her.

"You look familiar for some reason, Four." Tris' mother says, tilting her head. My blood runs cold in my veins.

"I can't imagine why," I say coldly."I don't make a habit of associating with the Abnegation." I feel slightly bad for being so cold to her, after all she's a perfectly civil woman. I seriously hope she isn't offended. I may be harsh at times, but not cruel. Luckily, the woman laughs.

"Few people do, these days. I don't take it personally." I relax. Now, seems like a good time to make my exit. I know Zeke is hiding out by the member's entrance. I'll be anti-social with him.

"Well, I'll leave you to your reunion." I turn to leave but not before I see Mrs. Prior's face. The look she gives me let's me know that she will find me later, and she _will_ get answers. I find Zeke quickly, right where he always hides on Visiting Day.

"Did you see the Stiffs mom?" he asks, artlessly I might add, as I approach.

"Why?" I ask.

"Did you notice that she doesn't look around like the others? You think she was once Dauntless?" he asks. I snort and have to stop to regain my composure.

"Stiffs consider curiosity self-seeking, of course she wasn't looking at everything wide eyes, you moron!"

"You looked around a lot when you got here," he points out.

"I was never really Abnegation, now was I?"

"Point proven," I smirk. We continue like this for a while longer. Just going back and forth. Usually, bantering with Zeke helps me clear my mind. But not today. I'm watching the crowd. Just waiting for that flash of grey that means Natalie Prior is looking for me. She knows who I really am. I can tell. Almost as if my thoughts summoned her, she appeared in front of me.

"Hello, my I speak to you, quickly?" she asks. I raise my eyebrows at her. Not one to beat around the bush is she? I nod anyway and follow her down the paths. It's weird it's like she knows where she's going. She reaches an area I know for a fact has no cameras and stops.

"How do you know your way around the compound?" I ask as she turns to me. She laughs.

"I wasn't always Abnegation," is all she says. "But I didn't bring you here to talk about that, Tobias." It's weird hearing that name again.

'How did you know?"

"You look like your father when he was your age, except he was weaker, and less strong-looking," she says. "Anyway, tell me how is Tris really doing?"

"She's fine. Not the top of the class but not the bottom either." The woman in front of me smiles.

"Good," she nods. "You need to watch out for her. She doesn't understand how dangerous the life she's chosen is. Please, promise me you'll help her!" Tris' mom looks determined in the dim light. When I look at her, I can see where Tris got her fearless determination from, among other things. I nod mutely and the woman smiles.

"Thank you." She walks out of the tunnel without a moment's hesitation, her head held high, unlike most women of her faction.


	12. Ranking

This afternoon I finally got into the Erudite file. They're sending war plans to us. They want to start a war with the Abnegation. They want to take control of the government. The files say something about a serum that will help the Dauntless in battle. The serum will eliminate any form of guilt the person may feel before after or even during killing someone. Pretty much it'll turn them into machines set on killing everything that stands in their way. With this information I can help people. I can save them from becoming this. If only I knew who to tell. I know I can't trust any of the leaders they're in on this. Almost everyone else would either tell the leaders what I'm warning them about and get me killed or kill me themselves. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place here and I don't know what to do.

I decide to hide the papers behind my dresser, I need more time to properly look at them and come up with a plan. There's a knock on my door just as I finish sliding the dresser back into place. Eric stands there. He's talking before the door is even partway open. He doesn't want to be here almost as much as I don't want him here.

"Do you have the rankings yet?" He asks briskly.

"Yeah I'm going to put them up after dinner." I say with an eye roll. He's acting like I need to be reminded to do my job. I started the rankings the first night. At that point Tris was in the top spot because she was the first jumper. If she hadn't done that she would probably by faction-less come tomorrow morning. It helped her score a lot. Of all the initiates this year the only one I know for sure will be going home in Myra. I can tell she only came to be with Edward. She isn't cut out to be Dauntless.

Dinner was particularly loud. All anyone seemed to talk about was the ranking tonight. Zeke and Shauna were pestering Lauren and I about how Uriah and Lynn are doing.

"If you ask one more time they will fail out of initiation!" Lauren snaps after Zeke asks her yet again. "You'll find out in the morning. You have to wait like everyone else!"

"Hey, Four, how's Uriah doing?" Zeke asks me. Lauren smacks him.

"I don't know, I train the transfers."

"Then how's the Stiff?" Shauna asks. Lauren hits her too. "What we can't even ask about his girlfrend?" I ignore the last part, she's smart, she'll let it drop.

"I can't tell you, you have to wait, like the big kids I know you secretly are." I say. Zeke makes gagging sounds.

"I am always adult like and grown up-ish!" Everyone laughs.

"You couldn't grow up if your life depended on it!" Shauna said. We all nod in agreement.

Lauren and I both have to run to the dormitories because we took so long at dinner. I grab the board and use my body to block it as I write. I finish just as Peter and Edward come barreling in, pushing one another. I start to explain the process when the last of the initiates arrive, I decide to start over for them since they all need to know what I was saying.

"For those of you who just came in, I'm explaining how the ranks are determined," I say "After the first round of fights, we ranked you according to your skill level. The number of points you earn depends on your skill level and the skill level of the person you beat. You earn more points for improving and more points for beating someone of a high skill level. I don't reward preying on the weak. That is cowardice."

My eyes linger on Peter a second before I continue. "If you have a high rank, you lose points for losing to a low-ranked opponent."

Molly grumbles and I resist my urge to smirk at her. Even though Tris lost control against her, she deserved the beating she got. It brought her score down two full ranks. Tris brought hers up three with that fight.

"Stage two of training is weighed more heavily than stage one, because it is more closely tied to overcoming cowardice. That said, it is extremely difficult to rank high at the end of initiation if you rank low in stage one."

Out of the corner of my eye I see Tris shift nervously. I look over just as she looks up and then away quickly.

"We will announce cuts tomorrow," I say. "The fact that you are transfers and the Dauntless-born initiates are not will not be taken into consideration. Four of you could be factionless and none of you. Or any combination thereof. That said, here are your ranks." I step forward and hang the board on the hook. I quickly move out of the way, so as to not get trampled. Most of the initiates look at the board in confusion. Silence falls over the room. That is until Molly starts screeching.

"What?" she demands, pointing at Christina. "I beat her! I beat her in _minutes, _and she ranked_ above_ me?" To her credit Christina crossed her arms with a steely look, before answering.

"Yeah," she says with a smug little smile. ""And?" I decide to step in before this gets ugly.

"If you intend to secure yourself a high rank, I suggest you don't make a habit of losing to low-ranked opponents ,'I say, effectively cutting through the grumbling and mumbling. I quickly pocket the chalk and walk out of the room. In the hall I am met by a laughing Lauren.

"Four!" she laughs as we almost bump into each other. "You should have seen their faces when I posted the rankings. It was priceless."

"I take it Uriah's happy with being first?" I ask. He's a good kid, he deserves it.

"I don't know who was happier, him or Lynn. She actually smiled!" I snort. I have never once seen that girl smile. Not even when she got a puppy. But then again her sister doesn't smile very much either.

"How about your initiates?" she asks after calming down slightly.

"I'm worried Molly and Peter might just go on murderous rampages." I say. "I can tell Peter isn't happy about coming in second and Molly wasn't happy with Christina or the Stiff because Tris brought her score down below Christina's." Lauren smiles.

"It's not like they can kill each other with kitchen utensils don't worry about it." I suppress a groan.

"You obviously don't know Peter."

That night I couldn't shake the feeling that something was terribly wrong. I don't know why I am so worried. It's not like Peter has a gun or something. The worst they can do is beat each other up, which isn't unusual. My fears are confirmed when a hysterical Myra pounds on my door. I quickly pull on a shirt before opening the door.

"What is it?" I snap before I see her tear streaked face. I grab her upper arms. "What's the matter? Is someone hurt?" The girls lets out a loud sob.

"E-e- Edward!" she manages to get the name out. The two of us take off running toward the dormitory Inside is frantic. The smell of vomit and blood fills the are. The initiates are running everywhere yelling to each other and crying. On the ground next to Edwards bed is the shape of two people. One is screaming in pure agony and begging for something to get pulled out. The other is a small blonde figure. The girl is trying to calm the yelling boy and telling him not to touch it. The two figures are Edward and Tris. A sliver handle protrudes from Edwards hand exactly where his eye should be. Someone stabbed him in the eye with a butter knife from the dining hall. I resist my urge to look away and start forward just as the nurse reaches them. Tris gets up, her knees stained with Edwards blood and slowly walks away. I scan the room, only two faces are missing. Drew and Peter. They carry Edward away and Myra follows. As I turn to leave Christina and Tris exit the bathroom carrying paper towels. Tris gets down on her hands and knees and starts cleaning the mess. I leave a second later. I doubt any of them realized I was even there.

For the rest of the night I lie awake. Unable to sleep, the image of Edward and Tris seared into my eyelids.


	13. Zip-Lining

**A/N sorry about the late updates it's been busy with Christmas and New Years tomorrow :) I OWN NOTHING**

"For the last time, no, I will not go zip-lining with you!" I snap at Zeke. He smirks.

"Awe, is itty bitty Four afraid?" I smack him, trying to act casual.

"I am not afraid I simply don't want to jump off a building today, you see, I value the days you aren't around, because I'm actually able to get things done."

"Like the Stiff?" he laughs. I know I flush violently at this. Not that I like her, simply that I see her as the little peice of home here in my "sanctuary." It also hasn't escaped my notice that she isn't exactly ugly. She isn't all curves like the other girls I used to pin after but she's interesting to look at. "You should have seen your face!" I glare at him willing my blush to go down. He starts to turn away and I quickly kick out at his legs causing him to fall on his back. He laughs.

"Admit you like her and I'll leave you alone!" he yells as he jumps to his feet and races down the hall. I go to flip him off but he's too far gone to see it. Today is a paperwork day. Oh joy! I get to fill out the papers that state that Myra and Edward have dropped out of initiation. If they had been kicked out I wouldn't have to do this but since they made a conscious decision to leave I get to do paper work.

This years transfers aren't doing as well as I would've liked. Only nine made it to the compound and now there's only seven left. I expect only six will make it to stage three. After all we haven't had our yearly jump from the Chasm. It's almost always a transfer. My year was James, who I suspected was thrown over for being Divergent, last year was a girl named Mary. A pretty little thing. She jumped when she saw she was dead last in the transfer rankings. The worst part was that she wasn't heading home, six of the Dauntless born kids scored lower than her. I know that some of the leaders have a bet going on who will jump this year. Eric has money on either Myra or Tris. Max has money on Will or Christina. They tried to get me to bet but I refuse to bet on something so awful. Putting money on peoples lives like that is absolutely repulsive. Secretly, I hope if anyone jumps it'll be Peter. The rest are good people who don't strike me as the types to jump. Not that he seems like they type of person to give up on life so completely but if anyone deserves it he's the guy.

The hours pass quickly. Soon it is time for dinner and I've finished my work for the day. I arrive in the dining hall a few minutes before the huge pack arrives. I see Zeke and Shauna among them looking wind-blown and happy. They drop down across from me and Lauren to my right.

"Guess who came zip lining?" Shauna says as soon as she's seated. I don't need to guess, next to Uriah is a short blonde girl.

"You brought the Stiff?" I ask shocked. Usually they only take members and Dauntless-born initiates zip-lining.

"Uriah did." Zeke said. "She didn't even scream on the way down, and she kinda jumped instead of letting me push her. The girls got guts."

"She's Dauntless through and through." Shauna agreed. "Though her handshake is worse than yours, Four." I smile at that. I never have gotten used to handshakes.

"I for one can't wait to see her fear simulation." Lauren said.

"I bet she'll give Four a run for his money," Zeke laughed. I rolled my eyes.

"No one has beaten my record yet and it will stay that way for a long, long time." I say.

"I don't know man, from what I saw she has no fears at all..." Shauna said.

"Everyone fears something." I say.

"So, anyway, what did you do today?" Shauna asked Lauren and I.

"I had to kick two of the transfers out of the weapons room." Lauren says.

"Who?" I ask though I already have an idea who.

"Molly and Peter, I believe," I nod.

"Makes sense, the two of them weren't very happy with their scores." Lauren looks worried.

"Well they had rope and a few knives." I nod.

"I'll keep an eye open," I say.

"So what did you do while you were off being a scarred little kid?" Zeke asks.

"Oh you know the usual sat on some babies, bashed some heads, used the blood of women to polish my boots," I say sarcastically. Shauna glares at me while Lauren kicks my shins. Zeke on the other hand starts cracking up.

"So you did paper work?" Zeke asks and I nod.

"Had to after what happened with Peter," I say.

"Do you know who did it?" Zeke asks.

"I have my suspicions but no solid evidence," It's true, Peter was careful, but all the initiates and myself know it was him and that Drew most likely helped. Before I could add anything Eric sat down next to Shauna, who moved as far away as possible without sitting in Zeke's lap.

"What do you want, Eric?" I snap.

"Some guys want to use the fear landscapes but we don't know where the serum is, any idea, the log says you where the last one up there."

"Left locker all the way in the back," I say. Eric nods and leaves. The others look at me.

"You still go through yours?" Lauren asks obviously surprised.

"At least twice a week." Zeke looks at me strangely.

"Has it ever changed?" he asks.

"Never once, it's always the same four things," I say. Lauren looks down.

"I guess the initiates will have to do mine then, you don't have enough fears for the transfers, let alone the whole group."

"I wouldn't let any them in my landscape if my life depended on it," I say. "They don't need to know me that well. No one needs to know me that well."

**A/N so what did you think? I kinda wrote this chapter quickly in the car on the way to my cousin's house. There are probably a bunch of typos but I'll correct it later. I feel like this chapter was needed to help understand Four's relationships with his friends. And I know he's still denying his feelings and he will for atleast a few more chapters so don't hate me **

**Love ya'll**

**Vicki**


	14. Simulation

Stage two is hard for most people, in fact it's probably harder than stage three. At least in stage three everyone can manipulate the simulation to help themselves. For the most part the simulations take about twenty minutes per person. It takes about five minutes to get them back to the dorms and then it's on to the next person. By the time there are only three left I've seen people scored during public speaking, beaten by a friend, and even drowning. Nothing out of the normal. No one has proven themselves Divergent just yet. If my guess is correct the next person I summon should change that. I open the door after Peter has left.

"Come on, Tris." She stands stiffly and starts walking, jumping Drew's outstretched leg in the process. I put my hand on her shoulder to guide her into the room. She jumps back when she examines the room, slamming fairly hard into my chest.

"Sit," I squeeze her arm, hopefully in a reassuring manner and push her toward the simulation table.

"What's the simulation?" she asks in a slightly shaky voice. Strange. Most people don't want to know what awaits them.

"Ever hear the phrase 'face your fears'?" I say."We're taking that literally. The simulation will teach you to control your emotions in the midst of a frightening situation."

She touches a shaking hand to her forehead. She looks downright terrified as she sits down and presses herself back against the headrest.

"Do you ever administer the aptitude tests?" I can tell she's talking partly to calm herself and partly because she's a naturally curious person. I decide to humor her for a minute as I get the simulation ready.

"No," I reply. "I avoid Stiffs as much as possible." I internally curse myself. I've said too much.

"Why?"

"Do you ask me that because you think I'll actually answer?" Maybe, just maybe, she'll drop it if I am cold toward her.

"Why do you say vague things if you don't want to be asked about them?" _Because I'm a freaking idiot sometimes._ Instead of answering her I brush her hair aside to inject the serum. She tenses as my hand brushes her neck. Her eyes widen, almost comically, when she sees the needle. Not that I blame her, the things huge.

"An injection?"

"We use a more advanced version of the simulation here," I say. "a different serum, no wires or electrodes for you."

"How does it work without wires?"

'Well, I have wires, so I can see what's going on," I say putting emphasis on the 'I' part. "But for you, there's a tiny transmitter in the serum that sends data to the computer." I ease the needle into her neck as gently as I can. She winces and I try to keep my face calm.

"The serum will go into effect in sixty seconds . This simulation is different from the aptitude test," I say quickly, she's probably already starting to feel the effects of the serum. "In addition to the containing the transmitter, the serum stimulates the amygdala, which is the part of the brain involved in processing negative emotions- like fear- and then induces a hallucination. The brain's electrical activity is then transmitted to our computer, which then translates your hallucination into a simulated image that I can see and monitor.I will then forward the recording to Dauntless administrators. You stay in the hallucination until you calm down- that is, lower your heart rate and control your breathing."

Her eyes shift everywhere as I talk. She's starting to breath heavily and sweat as the simulation begins to take effect.

"Be brave, Tris," I whisper. "The first time is always the hardest." Her eyes lock with mine before they flutter shut. I quickly put the electrodes on as her hallucination starts.

She's standing alone in a field. The air is heavy with smoke, but there is no wind. A crow lands on her shoulder. She hits at it but it just stares at her. More crows start landing on her as thunder rumbles. Then she starts screaming. Heart wrenching screams, the type that come from a persons very core. The crows continue to swarm her and her screams turn to pleas for help. Blood stains the grass around her fallen body. She looks so fragile and broken lying there, sobbing, as the birds peck at her.

I want to run and help her, but I know I can't. This is her simulation, she needs to overcome the fear she's feeling. Another pain filled sob echos through the field. I chant to myself that this isn't real, she's fine.

Suddenly, she stops crying, she stops everything, dragging in deep breaths. She stretches her arm forward and breaths deeply. She's doing it. She's calming herself down. Just as I think this the simulation goes black. I check my watch. Three minutes. Not even Uriah did it that fast.

She screams and starts flailing around, like she's trying to get the birds off. She moans and curls into a tight ball. I walk over and put my hand on her shoulder. She punches me, hard, in the side.

"Don't touch me!" she screams.

"It's over," I say, trying to stroke her hairlike I know people do when a girl is upset or hurt. She rubs her palms against her arms harshly.

"Tris." I say. She starts ricking back and forth in the chair. "Tris, I'm going to take you back to the dorms, okay?"

"No!" she snaps. Her head lifts off her knees and she shoots a glare in my general direction. Her eyes are bleary with tears. "They can't see me... Not like this..." She's acting just like I did after my first simulation. Except she looks like she's about to pass out.

""Oh, calm down," I say. I roll my eyes. Typical pride there, not that I can really blame her. "I'll take you out the back door."

"I don't need you to..." She shakes her head. Her shaking betrays her. She's trembling so hard she won't be able to stand up, let alone walk.

"Nonsense."

I grab her arm and pull her out of the wipes her eyes much like a toddler would. I steer her down the hall in silence. Suddenly she yanks away and stops.

"Why did you do that to me?" she says. ""What was the point of that, huh? I wasn't aware that when I chose Dauntless, I was signing up for weeks of torture!" The serum is still upsetting her, like it did for all the others, so I let her freak out a little.

"Did you think overcoming cowardice would be easy?" I ask calmly.

"That isn't overcoming cowardice! Cowardice is how you decide to be in real life, and in real life, I am not getting pecked to death by crows, Four!" She covers her face and lets out a sob. I just stand there as she sobs. She's not wrong. This isn't overcoming cowardice.

"I want to go home," she says weakly. I look at her. This is her home now, she made her choice. She shouldn't let anyone else hear her talk like that if she likes having a faction.

"Learning how to think in the midst of fear," I say. "is a lesson that everyone, even your Stiff family, needs to learn. That's what we're trying to teach you. If you can't learn it, you'll need to get the hell out of here, because we won't want you." It sounds harsh, but she needs to hear it.

"I'm _trying _." Her lip trembles, like she's going to cry again. I really hope she doesn't. I don't deal well with crying girls, at all! I sigh.

"How long do you think you spent in that hallucination, Tris?"

"I don't know," she shakes her head. "A half hour?"

"Three minutes," I say. "You got out three times faster than the other initiates. Whatever you are, you're not a failure." You might be Divergent, but not a failure, I add silently. I smile a little. "Tomorrow you'll be better at this. You'll see."

"Tomorrow?" I put my fingers on her back and start walking again.

"What was your first hallucination?" she asks. I suppress a shiver. Images of Marcus with his belt raised fill my mind.

"It wasn't a 'what' as much as a 'who,'" I say. Though he is a monster so maybe he is a what. I shrug. "It's not important."

"And are you over that fear now?"

"Not yet." I lean against the door and shove my hands into my pockets to keep them from shaking at the memories. "I may never be."

"So they don't go away?"

"Sometimes they do. And sometimes new fears replace them." I link my thumbs through my belt loops. "But becoming fearless isn't the point. That's impossible. It's learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it, that's the point."

She nods. Most people think of the dauntless as fearless. In actuality all we are is controllers of our fear. We don't let it dictate our lives like others do. We fight it, like the pest it really is. That is what it means to be Dauntless.

"Anyway, your fears are rarely what they appear to be in the simulation." I feel compelled to point this out.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, are you really afraid of crows?" I kind of half smile at her. It's kind of funny that this tough as nails girl before me freaked out over crows. Given they were blood thirsty, but still. "When you see one do you run away screaming?"

"I guess not." She leans against the wall next to me and tilts her head. She's less than a foot away from me. I don't know why I am so aware of it but a sort of energy radiates off her. It's pleasant to say the least.

"So what am I really afraid of?" she says.

"I don't know," I say simply. "Only you can know." She nods as she considers this. An almost Erudite look crosses her face as she thinks about it.

"I didn't know becoming Dauntless would be this difficult," she says. Then she seems to realize what she said, she bites her cheek nervously. I agree with her about that. It's become too hard. Too cruel.

"It wasn't always like this, I'm told," I say, with a sort of half shrug. "Being Dauntless, I mean."

"What changed?" _Everything._

"The leadership," I say. "The person who controls the training sets the standard of Dauntless behavior. Six years ago Max and the other leaders changed the training methods to make them more competitive and more brutal, said it was supposed to test people's strength. And that changed the priorities of Dauntless as a whole. Bet you can't guess who the leaders new protege is."

i know she has the answer because it clicks in her eyes. They trained him to be vicious, so he can in turn train the initiates the same way.

"So if you were ranked first in your initiate class, what was Eric's rank?" she asks. He will always be second best to me.

"Second."

"So he was their second choice for leadership." She nods slowly. "And you were their first."

"What makes you say that?"

"The way Eric was acting at dinner the first night. Jealous, even though he has what he wants." I don't answer which I know she took as an affirmative I can see more questions behind her eyes, but she puts a stopper on them. Instead she rubs her eyes, sniffs, and smooths down her hair.

"Do I look like I've been crying?"

"Hmm." I lean in close to her, narrowing my eyes like I'm inspecting her face. Her eyes are still slightly red, but other than that she looks totally fine. she doesn't even have tear trails on her cheeks anymore. I smile a little.

"No, Tris," I say. I feel myself turn more serious as I continue. She needs to know how true what I'm going to say is.

"You look tough as nails."


	15. Drinking

**A/N There are some weird bits in this chapter but he's drunk so please don't hate for the OOCness of it all. I'll explain Zeke's weirdness at the end in the authors note. **

Zeke tossed me a bottle as I approached him by the Chasm.

"TONIGHT WE DRINK!" he yells. His face is flushed and his eyes shine bright. Already drunk, knowing him. I laugh and open the bottle. It's been a long week and I need something to take my mind off things. I had at least three bottles before the effects hit me. The world around me sways and shimmers. Everything around me is moving too much.

"Dude," Zeke said. "I need to get a new tattoo." I snort at this. He has more than almost everyone else. "I'm going to get your face on my arm. 'Dem eyes." We both start cracking up even though it isn't all that funny. It's actually creepy, looking back on it. I have to grab the railing to keep from falling over. As I stumble, I catch a glimpse of a familiar blonde head. I struggle to remember her name. Suddenly, it hits me.

"Tris!" I call, feeling immensely proud. I half stumble over to her. She looks different.

"You look different." I slur. My mental filters are completely gone.

"So do you." She says with a funny look. "What are you doing?"

"Flirting with death," I say with a laugh. It's true, but at this point I honestly don't care. "Drinking near the chasm. Probably not a good idea."

"No, it isn't." It might not be a good idea but sure as hell is fun. There's a tattoo on her collarbone. It looks like one of Tori's.

"Didn't know you had a tattoo." I take another sip from my bottle. It's running low. I have to fix that soon? Hopefully, Zeke hasn't finished it all. I'll kill him if he has. Looking at the tattoo I am reminded of a memory from earlier. Crows!

"Right. The _crows_," I look over my shoulder at my friends. It looks like Shauna got some more drinks for everyone.

"I'd ask you to hang out with us, but you're not supposed to see me this way." _Drunk, without any form of filter, real. _

"What way?" she asks. "Drunk?"

"Yeah... well, no." I'm confusing even myself now. "Real, I guess."

"I'll pretend I didn't." She's so nice. Overly nice. Nice like a puppy.

"Nice of you." I lean in to tell her a super secret. "You look good, Tris." She laughs. It's a pretty sound.

"Do me a favor and stay away from the chasm, okay?"

"Of course," I wink at her. Then start to stumble back toward the others. I turn around to wave at Tris and she's hanging over the shoulder of some brick wall, boy, thing. I feel like I should probably know his name but at this point, it's a miracle I know my own. It's a strange way for someone to travel, over his shoulder I mean. I wave at her until she's gone then turn back to my friends and my drinks.

"Dude, you like the Stiff!" Zeke yells as soon as she's gone. I shake my head hard enough to give myself a headache.

"Nah, she's just more interesting than you!" I shout while tipping back my beer. Zeke knocks the bottle out of my hand.

"Admit you like her or you're cut off." he threatens. I roll my eyes, even wasted I can kick his ass if needed. Instead of trying I turn to Shauna.

"Hey, can I have one?" She passes me a fresh drink without hesitation. I smirk over the rim at Zeke and chug it. He scowls.

"Pansycake!"

**A/N This is probably my shortest chapter ever and probably the weirdest. The idea about Four's face on Zeke's arm comes from my brother and his friend who had a similar discussion after going out drinking together. Weird I know but re-reading this scene to write it here reminded me of that conversation for some reason. Next chapter will probably be short-ish too but after that they get longer again I promise. Please R&R**


	16. Divergent

The initiates are all quiet as I call them back for the simulations. It's obvious the nightmares and panic attacks have already started for most of them. Not that I mind how quiet they all are, I have a massive headache. You can see the effects of the sleepless night in all of them, whether it be bruise like circles under their eyes, bitten nails, bloodshot eyes, or shaking. Most of them are shaking as I lead them to the simulation room. They are unusually subdued.

Uriah conformed his Divergence when he managed to call a boat to himself while "drowning." He tried to play it off as a fluke but eventually admitted to me. I'm still not a hundred percent sure about Tris but I should know after her simulation today. She breaths heavily as I set her up.

"It's just a simulation, Tris." I say quietly in an attempt to calm her down. She nods and closes her eyes as the serum takes effect.

Today, she's surrounded in complete darkness. Lights start up and suddenly she's on the Pit floor, by the chasm. Around her are all the initiates, standing completely still, arms crossed. She's in a glass box.

A hallucination of myself steps forward and taps on the glass box, points towards her feet, smirking the whole time. Water is welling up around her feet. She looks towards "me" and I shrug, stepping back to stand with the initiates. She starts pounding desperately on the glass shouting for help and for someone to let her out. She looks at the "initiates" as Christina and Peter start laughing cruelly. She starts pounding on the glass harder as the water rises up her legs. The water rises above her head and for a moment she just floats, screaming. Then she presses a hand to the glass and it cracks. She hits at it a few more times before it shatters completely and she's washed out in a wave. The simulation's over.

Tris is Divergent. A strong Divergent by the looks of it. Next to me she gasps and shoots up. I don't go over to help her up, but I look at her. She looks totally calm, almost happy.

"What?" she asks.

"How did you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Crack the glass." I already know but I want her to confirm it. She needs to admit she's Divergent.

"I don't know." I offer her my hand and help her to her feet. She's steady, not so much as a quiver. She's totally calm, like someone who just went for a massage or a nice walk. Not someone who just went into a simulation meant to terrify them.

I sigh as I drag her out of the room, toward the dorms. She stops suddenly and jerks out of my grasp. I just look at her in silence.

"What?" she demands. I decide to answer her, since it seems like she's not going to admit it without prompting.

"You're Divergent." She looks at me with wide, fear filled, eyes. She looks like a deer caught in head lights for a second before she schools her features into a cool, indifferent, mask.

"What's Divergent?" she tries to sound casual, leaning back into the wall, but I can hear the terror under the question. For some reason I feel myself start to get angry.

"Don't play stupid," I say. "I suspected it last time, but this time it's obvious. You manipulated the simulation; you're Divergent. I'll delete the footage, but unless you want to wind up_ dead_ at the bottom of the chasm, you'll figure out how to hide it during simulations! Now, if you'll excuse me."

I slam the simulation room door harshly behind me. I don't know why I got so angry at Tris. She was probably told, by whoever administered her aptitude test that she had to hide it, and pretend she never heard the word before. She isn't stupid. The fact that she was able to hide it during the first simulation is an accomplishment.

She needs to learn how to hide this, quickly, though if she wants to survive to see stage three and quickly. I quickly type in the code needed to make her simulation delete itself and scramble the signature so it can't be pieced back together. She's safe, for now.

**A/N Kinda short I know, but I like this one. Next chapter, Stage Two rankings, shooting muffins off Marlene's head and the Chasm scene! ARE YOU ALL READY FOR IT? I know I am! Don't forget to R&R**


	17. Chasm

Erudite's articles about Abnegation are getting steadily worse. They started off talking about the mass exodus of the leader's kids over the past couple of years. Even going so far as to say Tris' father beat her, like mine did. I know this is probably untrue since in her simulations one of Tris' most recurring fears is watching her family die, or being forced to kill them.

The articles are now accusing them of taking advantage of the system and the fact that we don't get a say in the government. They even go so far as to say that the values taught there are corrupt and that's why so many people leave.

Simulations today were especially hard on Tris. She had to kill her family again. The look her 'brother' gave her was so heartbreaking even I felt bad for her. But she did it. She puts her head in her hands as soon as the simulation wears off. For a minute she just sits there, shaking. She looks up and locks eyes with me.

"I know the simulation isn't real." She says.

"You don't have to explain it to me,"I say. "You love your family. You don't want to shoot them. No the most unreasonable thing in the world." Almost everyone has had this fear in their simulation. It's hard on all of them, especially the transfers who can't see their families.

"In the simulation is the only time I get to see them," she says. She twists her fingers and I notice how bitten and bloody they are. "I miss them. You ever just... miss your family?" My shoes become very interesting all of the sudden. I hadn't noticed how scuffed they are getting, I'll need a new pair soon.

"No," I say after a minute or so. "I don't. But that's unusual." She pauses holding the doorknob and we lock eyes. I know mine are begging her to understand, to see that I might not miss my father, but I'm not a monster. I almost want to tell her about the abuse. Something not even Zeke knows about. Her eyes seem to be asking me a question. I don't know what it is but her face softens as the minutes pass.

Then, quick as a flash she's gone, the door slamming behind her. I call in Drew, the last initiate of the day. I can tell he hasn't been sleeping from his bloodshot eyes and the bruise-like bags under them. I can tell Al's been screaming in his sleep since he's hoarse every day. Tris and Uriah are the only ones who seem to get any sleep, though both show signs of nightmares. He's done quickly and heads back to the dorms where Eric has probably already posted the scores. I head off to go find Lauren, Zeke, and Shauna. I find Zeke and Shauna down by the training rooms. They wave as I approach.

"What's up?" I ask, falling into step next to them. Before either of them can answer we hear a pop and someone yell "We both win!" from the last room. Another shout of "Gross!" comes a second later. The three of us march toward the room and I slam the flat of my hand into the door causing it to fly open dramatically. Uriah fires a pellet gun as we walk in. Marlene, Lynn, and, surprisingly, Tris are gathered around. Marlene has a Muffin in her hand which appears to have a pellet in it.

"I thought I heard something in here," I say, hopefully I look scary, because I'm barely holding back laughter at their faces. Surprisingly, Tris seems to fit in the room the best, almost like she was made to be here.

"Turns out it's my idiot brother," says Zeke. "You're not supposed to be in here after hours. Careful, or Four will tell Eric, and then you'll be as good as scalped." I would never tell Eric, and everyone knows that, but the look of fear on Marlene and Lynn's faces are pretty funny. Uriah wrinkles his nose at Zeke while putting the pellet gun away. Marlene crosses the room, still eating the muffin. I step aside to let her out.

"You wouldn't tell Eric," Lynn says, eyeing mt suspiciously.

"No, I wouldn't," I put my hand on Tris' back as we leave. Zeke wiggles his eyebrows at me and I roll my eyes. Leave it to him to make a simple gesture suggestive. As everyone starts making their way down the hall I call out to Tris.

"Wait a second." She turns around looking a little nervous. I smile at her,not a full smile but a smile none the less. "You belong here, you know that? You belong here with us. It'll be over soon, so just hold on, okay?" I scratch behind my ear and look away. I can't believe I said that to her.

All of the sudden, there's a soft pressure on my hand. Tris' hand is in my own. I lace our fingers together almost subconsciously. For a minute we lock eyes. Then she lets go and races down the hall. I can't help the real smile that comes to my face as I follow her down the hall. Zeke and Shauna are both smirking when I reach them but don't say a word.

I left the control room around twelve o'clock. Usually I would've taken the tunnels back to my apartment and just gone to bed. But I needed a haircut and shoes so I decided to see if the Pit was still open. I hear voices as I get closer to the chasm. There are three large shapes holding a fourth down. As I watch I see the figures start to lift the other up. A girls scream radiates through the air. The voice is familiar. There's a quiet conversation of sorts then the girl hits the ground and starts kicking out and biting. A boy screams this time. More thrashing around and then someone hits the girl hard enough for her head to snap back. Someone kicks the girl and another slams her head into the ground, another scream. This time I recognize the girl. It's Tris. _My_ Tris. Anger and fierce protectiveness washes over me in waves and I see red. I want to rip the three boys heads off and roast them. At the same time I want to grab Tris and get her as far away from them as possible.

I take off running. Al sees me first and takes off before I reach them. I recognized the other figures now as well. Peter and Drew are holding the bruised and bloodied Tris over the chasm. I reach Drew first and quickly kick his legs out from under him. He screams as I pummel him, but I don't care. He manages to catch the corner of my mouth with a punch and I feel the skin split. In return I punch his eye, it starts bruising almost immediately. The skin on my knuckles splits open as I slam them into him, leaving faint bits of blood wherever I hit. Out of the corner of my eye I see Peter drop Tris, who locks her arms around the railing, only barely stopping her fall. Peter takes off. I don't stop hitting Drew though, I think I feel a rib snap when I kick him and judging from the groan that comes from him I could have.

"Four," Tris croaks. I leave Drew on the ground and run over to her. Her eyes shut as I reach down and pull her up. I pick her up like I'm holding a small child. Or a bride. She presses her face into my shoulder and goes limp. I leave Drew on the Pit floor, I'll come back for him later, and carry Tris to my apartment. She probably needs a doctor but I don't want her out of my sight. I pull her in tighter as I open the door and set her down on the bed.

She looks broken lying there. Like a doll that was trampled. Her breathing is shallow but her pulse is steady. I almost sob in relief. While I was carrying her limp form I thought for sure they had killed her. If they had they wouldn't live to see tomorrow. I would've gone down to the dorm myself and dragged them out.

It was by pure luck that I took the late control room shift tonight. If Lauren hadn't gotten sick, the boys would've gotten away with their plan. If she hadn't gotten sick, I wouldn't have realized that my friends were right. I like Tris Prior. Now, don't expect me to ever say it again.

**A/N He likes her! What do you think? I personally felt like this was a good time for him to realize. Please R&R**


	18. Fear God Alone

After making sure Tris was settled and had an ice pack on her head, I run back down the Pit. Drew is still curled up in a tight ball there. He's breathing, his face is all black and blue, with streaks of red. I smirk a little. He deserved worse but I'm his instructor and I have to pretend to be professional. He deserves to be thrown over the chasm. I'd like to see that, actually. Peter and Al too. They deserve it after trying too hurt Tris. They deserve to suffer for trying to put out such a strong, brave, beautiful light.

I lift Drew's limp body and throw him over my shoulder, none too gently, I might add. Then I start running over the uneven paths. I may have jostled him more than was strictly necessary, but I really couldn't bring myself to care. Lily, the usual nurse, is there when I finally drop him down on a bed.

"What happened to him? He looks like he got hit by a truck." I repress my smile at the last part.

"I think he slipped by the chasm, probably hit his head, hard." Lily rolls her eyes at me. She's had to fix enough punching bags- I mean people- up from fights to recognize the signs. She doesn't say anything though, since she knows she won't get a straight answer. Instead she waves me away. As I turn toward the door Drew's eyes fly open and he starts to cough uncontrollably. Once that's stopped his eyes land on me and he pales under all the bruises. He starts stuttering. From what I make out, Peter planned the whole thing, and that they had only meant to scare her. I give him a cold look.

"You know, trying to scare off other initiates is a sign of cowardice," I say slowly, letting each word sink in. "You knew she could have died. I could lower your score considerably for this, I could make you faction-less. Hell, I could dangle you over the chasm if I really felt like it." Drew looks completely panicked.

"But I won't do any of that," I continue. "This incident will be reported to the leaders, they may punish you, they may not. You are going to live with this guilt for the rest of your life. I suggest you tell your 'friends' exactly what I've told you. Also, warn them, if any of you try anything like this, ever again, you will be faction-less before you can say faction Do you understand?" Drew moans which I take as an affirmative. I nod then run toward my apartment, making it there in record time. Tris is still passed out on the bed. I take the, now warm, ice pack and put it back in the refrigerator. She looks younger lying there, almost like a twelve year old. One with bruises along her cheek, but a twelve year old none the less. There's a knock on the door, which I run to answer quickly. It's Zeke.

"Yo, party in the Pit, you in?" he asks before I even have the door fully open. Then he sees my cut face and bloody knuckles. His usual amused look is replaced by one of worry. "What the hell happened to you?" he snaps. I gesture for him to lower his volume.

"I'll tell you in the morning, I can't come tonight." I say this quickly and start to close the door. He puts his booted foot in the way and peeks into the room. He sees Tris lying on the bed and suddenly I've been dragged out in the hall and pinned, by the shoulders, to the wall.

"What did you do?" he snarls dangerously. I'm almost afraid of him. I would've been afraid if I actually feared people themselves. The only person who can actually scare me now is Marcus and even then it's more of a childish trauma more than an actual fear.

"Before you ask," I say in response. "I didn't hurt the Stiff. Peter, Drew, and Al were trying to kill her, when I was walking back from the control room. I beat up Drew but the others got away. " Zeke lets go of me looking apologetic.

"I'll let you go then. Tell me how she's doing in the morning." I nod and head back into the apartment and to the bathroom, flipping on the light as I go. I quickly start the cool water and begin rinsing my cut knuckles. The water turns pick with blood as I scrub. The cuts aren't deep but they will probably leave a scar. I flip off the water and dry the cuts, I'll bandage them later if need be. Then I walk over to the refrigerator and grab a new ice pack for Tris.

My eyes meet another pair, these grey-blue, from across the room.

"Your hands," Tris croaks. Leave it to an ex-Abnegation to care more about someone else's scraped hands, then the fact that not a half hour ago they were doing hung over a most certain death. I have no doubt in my mind that if I hadn't stopped them Peter and the others would've killed her. They almost did anyway, if Tris hadn't grabbed the rail after Peter dropped her she would be gone.

"My hands are none of your concern," I reply. I put my knee on the bed as I lean over her to put the ice under her head again. Suddenly, she reaches up, almost hesitantly, and touches the cut on my lip. I feel warmth spread from where she touches but I write it off as relief that she's able to talk or move at all. I thought for sure they had crushed her windpipe or something.

"Tris," I say against her fingers, "I'm all right."

"Why were you there?" she asks letting her hand drop. I find myself almost missing the touch. _Maybe Drew hit me harder than I thought._

_"_I was coming back from the control room. I heard a scream."

"What did you do to them?" she asks.

"I deposited Drew at the infirmary a half hour ago. Peter and Al ran. Drew claimed they were just trying to scare you. At least, I think that's what he was trying to say."

"He's in bad shape?" There's an almost hopeful look in her eyes.

"He'll live," I reply. Then I add bitterly, "In what condition, I can't say." Her eyes flood with the same fierce light I saw in them during her fight with Molly. Even lying there, barely able to move she looks triumphant, like no one can really beat her. She squeezes my arm harder than I thought she'd be able to, in her current state.

"Good," she says quietly. She sound angry almost like she want to go beat them up herself. Instead she burst into tear, catching me off guard. I scramble for something to do to make her stop. Then I remember something my mother used to do when I was upset. I crouch down next to the bed, she doesn't need sympathy, she's too strong and powerful for that. Instead I place my hand gently on the side of her face and trace my thumb across her cheekbone.

"I could report this," I say. I half hope she agrees but I know before the words are out she'll say no. She has too much pride to let them know they've scared her.

"No," she say. "I don't want them to think I'm scared."

I nod and continue to stroke her cheek. "I figured you would say that."

"Do you think it would be a bad idea if I tried to sit up?" I do. But if I say so I know she will try to sit up on her own and that won't go well.

"I'll help you." I grab her shoulder with one hand and use the other to hold her head steady as she sits up. She stifles a groan. She's still trying to be tough and brave even though I could hardly blame her for crying out. I hand her the ice pack.

"You can let yourself be in pain. It's just me here." She bites her lip and I see the new tears that wet her face. Her pupils are dilated, hopefully that doesn't mean she has a concussion.

"I suggest you rely on your transfer friends to protect you from now on." If I know anything about Peter, I know he will just try again the first chance he gets.

"I thought I was," she says. For a second her face fills with panic like they're attacking her again. A sob rocks her small body. She presses her hands into her forehead and rocks back and forth, slowly. "But Al..." A sick feeling fills me.

"He wanted you to be the small, quiet girl from Abnegation," I say softly. "He hurt you because your strength made him feel weak. No other reason." _You made them all feel weak. They should feel weak next to you._

She nods but still looks disbelieving.

"The others won't be as jealous if you show some vulnerability. Even if it isn't real. "

"You think I have to _pretend _to be vulnerable?" she raises an eyebrow. I want to tell her how strong she really is even though she herself doesn't see it.

"Yes, I do." I take the ice from her and press it to her head myself. I stand up, needing to stretch my legs. "You're going to want to march into breakfast tomorrow and show your attackers they had no effect on you," I say. It's exactly what I would want to do if I were in her situation. "But you should let that bruise on your cheek show, and keep your head down."

Tris doesn't look very happy as she lets my advice sink in. She loos like the idea nauseates her.

"I don't think I can do that," she says hollowly. She raises her eyes to mine and I see the determination there.

"You have to."

"I don't think you get it." She starts the blush violently. "They touched me." She looks ashamed of herself. I feel myself stiffen. Surely, not even Peter would stoop that low.

"Touched you," I repeat. So, that's why she is so upset. Not that they jumped her but because they... I can't even think the word.

"Not... in the way you're thinking." She clears her throat in a way I know means she's embarrassed. "But... almost." She looks away quickly. I know by the way she said it that she doesn't want to talk about it ever again.

I on the other hand want to go down to the dorms and the infirmary and drag the three of them down here to apologize before I throw them head first down the chasm. I want to slam their heads together until I see sparks. I want to see Tris destroy them and make them sorry they ever messed with her, but she needs to keep her head low if she want to survive to see stage three.

"What is it?" she asks breaking the long silence.

"I don't want to say this," I say. "but I feel like I have to. It is more important for you to be safe than right, for the time being. Understand?" She nods after a seconds hesitation. I an tell she doesn't want to agree but knows it's a good point.

"But please, when you see an opportunity..." I add pulling her face up gently. "Ruin them." I know she sees the predatory glint in my eyes by the way she laughs shakily.

"You're a little scary, Four." I don't want her to call me that. I want her to know who I really am.

"Do me a favor, and don't call me that.:

"What should I call you?" I decide not to tell her just yet.

"Nothing." I move my hand from her face. "Yet."

**A/N What do you think? Like it? Hate it? I personally like this chappie. Plus it's long! Please don't forget to R&R**


	19. Ache

Now, when most eighteen year old guys have a cute girl, especially one they like, sleeping in their bed, they at least try to get in with her. But not me. After we decided it would be stupid of her to sleep in the same room as the guys that tried to kill her, I just slept on the floor while Tris lied on the quilt. I tried to stay up and keep an eye on her but eventually sleep overcame me and I was out like a light.

I wake to a stiff back and aches in my hands in cheek. I cringe sitting up. Tris is still sound asleep on the bed. She lies on her back with one arm wrapped around her stomach and the other under across her forehead. Her eyes are closed, her lips slightly parted. She looks like a little kid lying there. She looks more peaceful than I've ever seen her. There is no pain, anger, or fear in her face. Just peace, the type that only comes from a deep sleep.

From where I stand, stretching I can't see the full extent of her injuries but I do see the darkened edge of a bruise across her cheek. I leave her to sleep a little longer, and grab some clothes to take a shower. I need to wash the memories and pain of last night away. I need to clear my head of all it's confusion.

Last night when I saw Peter, Drew ans Al, I realized that Tris is more to me than just another initiate. I realized that I like her more than I should. Seeing her sleeping there, in my bed, made me see that I don't want her to disappear from my life. I want her there, with me for a long, long time. Even to myself I sound like a lovesick puppy. Not a month ago I was planning on leaving this faction forever and never looking back. Now, because of some little girl, I am planning two, three years into the future.

I leave the bathroom after getting dressed. I go back into the room to find Tris standing in front of my mirror, which is above her head. I use to towel to dry off my hair and to distract myself from the peace of hair that managed to escape the knot at the back of her head.

"Hi," she says. her. Voice sounds unusually strained. I touch her bruised cheek lightly with my fingers, trying to make sure no bone is broken. Nothing appears to be out of place.

"Not bad," I say. "How's your head?"

"Fine," she says. I know she's lying. Her face betrays her. She brushes her hand along a bump and she stiffens. I drop my hand to her side where I saw she got kicked. She might have a broken rib.

"And your side?" I ask quietly.

"Only hurts when I breathe." i smile. She must be feeling a little better if she's able to crack even a weak joke.

"Not much you can do about that."

"Peter would probably throw a party if I stopped breathing."

"Well," I say. "I would only go if there was cake." She laugh. Then winces violently, throwing a hand to where mine still rests to steady her rib cage. I slowly pull my hand back, so I don't hurt her. We stand there a minute and just look at each other, the events of last night momentarily blocked from our minds. I nod and lead her out. We walk in silence to the dining hall. She can barely walk straight but her shoulders are still set with pride. Even being a human punching bag hasn't put her down.

"I'll go in first," I say as we stop in front of the dining hall. "See you soon, Tris."

i walk through the doors and quickly head over to my usual table. Throwing myself down next to Zeke and stealing his waffle.

"What happened to you?" Lauren asks when she sees my hands and split lip. I quickly give them the run down of what happened last night. Shauna, Lauren, and Zeke look like they are about to finish where I started, when Tris enters the dining hall. She's walking slowly and hugging the wall. Shauna snarls under her breath.

"If she doesn't kick those boys asses I'll do it for her!"

"I told her not to do that just yet, she doesn't need a bigger target on her back," I say. "Otherwise she'll be this years 'jumper.'" The others nod. Across the room I see Uriah start to wave at Tris and then lower his hand. She slides in next to Will and Uriah slides in next to her. This bothers me, but I turn back to Zeke's food.

"Can't you get your own food?" Zeke snaps as I take a swig from his orange juice.

"Nope. I'm sore from sleeping on the floor and beating the crap out of an initiate." Zeke grumbles but lets me continue eating. Someone has to make sure he doesn't gain too much weight. I notice both Al and Drew are missing. Drew is probably still holed up in the infirmary, but I have no clue where Al is.

"Since you don't want Tris beat them up can I?" Shauna asks for what must be the tenth time.

"No, we have to let her fight her own battles in due time." I say. "Besides, I already got one." I say with a smile. As I say it the others turn toward the door where Drew has just appeared. I have to duck under the table because I'm laughing so hard.

"You did that?" Zeke asks. I nod and then start laughing again. He's so bruised he's more purple then he is human toned. His face looks like someone used to to plow a field. Shauna grabs my shoulders over the table.

"And that is why I went to you for help during initiation." she says. "We could all him modern art you know." I laugh at that. It's sort of an ongoing joke between the two of us. One night while I was helping her she said something about modern art and sine then every time someone gets beaten up we all it a work of modern art. Stupid, I know, but it never fails to make me smile.

"Looks like little Uri has a crush." Zeke mumbles to me. "Looks like you've got competition." I roll my eyes but on the inside my stomach is tied in knots. I get up and stand between the tables of initiates to save myself from answering.

"Transfers. We're doing something different today," I say. "Follow me." I don't miss the look Zeke gives me but I'm already leading the initiates out.

They follow me like little ducks out of the dining hall and around the Pit. I hear some of them talking but I hose to ignore them and focus on the well known path we follow. Most members only come here one a month as required but I follow these paths at least twice a week sometimes more. I turn around and start walking backwards. I see Drew trudging slowly at the back of the group. I decide to mess with him some more. Mostly, because of what he did to Tris but also because it's fun.

"Pick up the pace, Drew!" I know I'm fighting off a smile and I look to Tris to see she is too. Then I see Tris and Will's linked arms. I go cold. I'm acting like a jealous kid. It's childish but I can't bring myself to really care. I walk up the metal stairs that lead to the simulation room/ I force myself to look straight ahead and ignore the sense of panic I feel being so high above the chasm with only a creaky staircase to keep me up. I lead them quickly through the member's gym and the fear landscapes. I see where Zeke and I graffiti-ed "Dauntless" in red paint along the wall behind me. It's the only artistic thing either of us has ever done.

"This," I say one everyone is close enough. "is a different kind of simulation known as a fear landscape. It has been disabled for our purposes, so this isn't what it will be like the next time you see it. Through your simulations, we have stored data about your worst fears. The fear landscape accesses that data and presents you with a series of virtual obstacles. Some of the obstacles will be fears you previously faced in your simulations. Some may be new fears. The difference is that you are aware, in the fear landscape, that it is a simulation, so you will have your wits about you as you go through it."

The initiates are are listening intently. Even Drew.

"The number of fears you have in your landscape varies according to how many you have. I told you before that the third stage of initiation focuses on mental preparation . This is because it requires you to control both your emotions and your body- to combine the physical abilities you learned in stage one with the emotional mastery you learned in stage two. To keep a level head."

As I say this I stop scanning the crowd and look directly at Tris. I need her to understand what's going to happen. She needs to get into the top ten.

"Next week you will go through your fear landscapes as quickly as possible in front of a panel of Dauntless leaders. That will be your final test, which determines your ranking for stage three. Just as stage two of initiation is weighted more heavily than stage one, stage three is weighted heaviest of all. Understand?"

They all nod. Even Drew, though he makes it look very painful. I almost feel bad for him.

"You can get past each obstacle in one of two ways. Either you find a way to calm down enough that the simulation registers a normal, steady heartbeat, or you find a way to face your fear, which can force the simulation to move way to face a fear of drowning is to swim deeper, for example." I shrug. "So I suggest that you take the next week to consider your fears and develop strategies to face them."

"That doesn't sound fair," Peter says. "What if one person only has seven fears and someone else has twenty? That's not their fault." I just stare at him for a minute. Is he really that stupid? Then I start to laugh.

"Do you really want to talk to me about what's fair?"

The group parts as I start toward Peter. I reach him, cross my arms, and say in my most deadly voice,"I understand why you're worried Peter. The events of last night certainly proved that you are a miserable coward."

He just looks at me.

"So now we all know," I continue, quietly,"that you are afraid of a short, skinny girl from Abnegation." I smile at the end. He should be afraid. They all should be.

**A/N So what do you all think? I'm making a playlist for this story that should be up soon. Please take a look. Also, I won't be updating as often for the next two weeks because it's midterms at school and I need to study.**

**PM me if you have any suggestions for Divergent one shots **

**XOXO**

**Viki**


	20. Jumper

It was late when the knock on my door woke me up. I had been reflecting on how great a day it was when I fell asleep and it had translated into my dreams. I should have known it wasn't going to last. The person knocking on my door has left behind any idea of calm and was pounding as hard and fast as they could. I opened it to find Lauren. She looked shaken and almost scared. Or as close to scared as I've ever seen her.

"What's the matter?" I ask as she lowered a shaky hand.

"We have a jumper, one of yours." My thoughts automatically turn to Tris. Had last night really taken that much effect on her? She didn't seem that upset. Maybe they guys were able to follow through with their plan this time.

"Who was it?" I ask hoping my panic isn't obvious. Lauren shakes her head.

"I don't know, they're pulling the body up now. You should probably go down." I quickly go back into my room and throw on my boots. The entire walk toward the pit is a blur. My only thought, _not Tris, anyone but her. _

The pit was a swirl of action as Rob and Kennedy haul the body over the ledge, they're grunting with effort, but that doesn't necissarily mean the body itself is heavy. A large, dark, mass hits the pit floor with a heavy thump. A pale swollen arm falls into view. I hear a loud sob off to my left. Tris is there with Christina. I supress a sigh of relief. The two girls are clutching eachbother tightly. Tris looks horrified and I turn to see Al's glassy eyes staring blindly into space. He doesn't look human anymore, his blue lips and glassy eyes make him look like a child's lifeless doll.

Zeke puts his hand on my shoulder from behind.

"Which one is it?" he asks me quietly so no one else hears.

"Al, the one that should've left at the end of stage one. He jumped."

"Isn't he the one that almost killed the Stiff?" I nod. Across the way Tris and Christina sink to the floor. Tris looks like she's going to be sick. I get the feeling she's blaming herself. If I were in my right mind I would blame myself. I should've seen the signs in his simulations. They were always the same, losing his friends, getting kicked out of initiation, and losong control over his life.

I can't bring myself to really mourn his loss. After all he did attempt murder not twenty-four hours ago. The thought scares me. I feel like I'm losing a small part of myself to the indifference. I secretly find myself wishing I had pushed him. I push the thought from my head as Tris takes off across the pit floor, running as fast as she can.

They're trying to fit the body into a bag that doesn't even cover half of him. If it weren't so depressing I probably would've laughed. As it is now we have a funeral later. The Dauntless are quick to forget the dead. Everyone will hero worship Al for a few hours and then his name will never be mentioned again. Eric will call his selfish, desperate act, brave. He will say how he was a true Dauntless. It's disgusting how warped the morals here have become.

People are already wasted by the time Zeke and Shauna manage to westle me out of my room. I have absolutly no desire to go to the "funeral." Despite my struggles Zeke manages to get me to stand right next to where Eric is standing, raised above the crowd.

"Quiet down, everyone!" he yells. The gong sounds and gradually the pit falls silent. It's strange to Not hear shouts and yells in the pit, but strangely comforting. "Thank you. As you know, we're here because Albert, an initiate, jumped into the chasm last night. We do not know why and it would be easy to mourn the loss of him tonight. But we did not chose a life of ease when we became Dauntless. And the truth of it is..." Eric smiles, to someone that doesn't know him it could be considered friendly, but it's more the look of a predator that just caught its prey.

"The truth is, Albert is now exploring an unknown, uncertain place. He leaped into vicious waters to get there. Who among us is brave enough to venture into the darkness without knowing what lies beyond it? Albert was not yet one of our members but we can be assured that he was one of our bravest!"

The cheers start somewhere in the center of the crowd. They're celebrating his "bravery." every word out of Eric's mouth is more disturbing than the last. He's practically incouraging them to jump. He wants them to give up on life.

"We will celebrate him now, and remember him always!" Eric yells over the cheers. Kennedy hands him a bottle. "To Albert the Courageous."

The croud starts cheering Al's name over and over until it becomes unrecognisable. It's kind of poetic really.

I escape the crowd as soon after as I can. I finally manage to make it to the tunnel that leads toward the member's appartments. Dodging drunken idiots, I duck in and am suprised to see someone else is already there.

"Tris." She stiffens and turns around. Her hair is shining in the blue light from the fountain. She doesn't look upset, more disappointed than anything else. There's something else in her eyes that I can't quite make out.

"What are you doing here?" she asks. "Shouldn't you be paying your respects?" She almost spits the words out, like they repulse her.

"Shouldn't you?" I avoid the question since I don't want the camera behind her to pick up my answer and get me in trouble. Eric's already waiting for me to mess up and I can't let him get anything on me.

"Can't pay respect when you don't have any," she replies. Then she shakes her head, hard. "I didn't mean that."

"Ah." I know that isn't true, but let it drop.

"This is ridiculous," she says, a blush covering her cheeks. "He throws himself off a ledge and Eric's calling him brave? Eric, who tried to have you throw knives at Al's head?" She stops and looks like she wants to be sick. I can't really blame her, the whole thing is rather sickening. "He wasn't brave! He was depressed and a coward and he almost killed me! Is that the kind of thing we respect here?"

Now I understand why she's so worked up. Like a true Abnegation girl, she blames herself. She might not have said it outright but I can tell. The look in her eyes is guilt. She probably won't admit it to herself but it's there.

"What do you want them to do? Condemn him? Al's already dead. He can't hear it and it's too late." I say. Anger flares up in her, causing her to stand taller, almost subconciously.

"It's not about Al," she snaps. "It's about everyone watching! Everyone who sees hurling themselves into the chasm as a viable option. I mean, why not do it if everyone calls you a hero afterward? Why not do it if everyone will remember your name? It's... I can't..."

I want to stop her there. She's at the point of no return as she struggles for words. I know if I cut her off she'll just say something worse than I know is coming.

"This would never have happened in Abnegation." She practically screams, hopefully the camera missed it. It's unlikely but possible. "None of it! Never. This place warped him and ruined him, and I don't care if saying that makes me a Stiff, I don't care, I don't care!"

"Careful, Tris." I say with my eyes trained on the camera.

"Is that all you can say? That I should be careful? That's it?"

"You're as bad as the Candor, you know that?" I say grabbing her arm and dragging her away from the camera's range. I know I'm holding her arm too tight but I need her to follow me ans I know if I loosen the grip she'll break away. I lean in close, so close I can see the small scar on the side if her nose. "I'm not going to say this again, so listen carefully. They are watching you. You, in particular."

She needs to know how suspicious the leaders are. Max approaxhed me not long ago asking about her. They know she's divergent. Or atleast they suspect it.

"Let go of me," she says weakly. I quickly release my grip on her shoulders and straighten up. She doesn't look even slightly scared. "Are they watching you, too?" They probably are but I can't be sure. I don't answer her question.

"I keep trying to help you," I say instead, "but you refuse to be helped." I've tried to help her but she's just as stubborn as I was until Amar literally knocked some sense into me.

"Oh, right. your help," she says. "Stabbing my ear with a knife and taunting me amd yelling at me more than you yell at anyone else, it sure is helpful."

"Taunting you? You mean when I threw the knives? I wasn't taunting you," I snap. "I was reminding you that if you failed, someone else would have to take your place."

Tris rubs the back of ner neck absently as she thinks back. She seems to realize what I say is true.

"Why?"

"Because your from Abnegation and it's when you're acting selflessly that you are at your bravest." I pause for a second to let the word sink in. "If I were you, I would do a better job of pretending that selfless impulse is going away because if the wrong people discover it... Well, it won't be good for you."

"Why? What do they care about my intentions?" I supress my urge to gunt in irriatation.

"Intentions are the only thing they care about. They try to make you think they care about what you do, but they don't. They don't want you to act a certain way. They want you to think a certain way. So you're easy to understand. So you don't pose a threat to them."

I press my on the wall behind her head and lean in. I find myself wishing I was shorter. I'm lanky, I have muscle, but I'm too tall and thin for it to really show. I kind of look like I could be her older brother. Actually, just the other day Eric asked me that.

I don't want to be her brother.

"I don't understand," she says, "why do they care that I think, as long as I'm acting how they want me to."

"You're acting how they want you to now, but what happens when your Abnegation-wired brain tells you to do something else, something they don't want?"

She doesn't answer me, but gets a thoughtful look. Then something seems to hit her. I really hope she figured out why being Divergent is so dangerous.

"I might not need you to help me. Ever think about that? I'm not weak, you know. I can do this on my own."

I shake my head. "You think my first instinct is to protect you. Because you're small, or a girl, or a Stiff. But you're wrong." I think back to that first day, when she jumped. I remember wondering how much it would take to break her.

I lean in close to her. So close our noses are practically touching, and wrap my fingers around her chin.

"My first instinct is to push you until you break, just to see how hard I have to press." I squeeze my fingers at the word break to emphasize it. She needs to understand. I lift my eyes and lock them with her steely ones! And add, "But I resist it."

"Why..." she swallows hard. "Why is that your first instinct?"

"Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up. I've seen it. It's facinating." I let go of her chin. I had forgotten I was still holding it. I don't pull away. I can't bring myself to do it. I gun my hand along her jaw and neck. "Sometimes I just... want to see it again. Want to see you awake."

She puts her small hands on my waist. I almost jump as her hands skim my back muscle. After a minute I wrap my arm around her, pulling her closer, the other hand i use to smooth her hair, like I've seen parents do when their children are upset.

Tris feels like a child in my arms, it's reassuring. Sometimes she's like a defenseless puppy, and other times it's like she is her own army. I don't see the puppy nearly enough.

"Should I be crying?" She asks in a muffled voice. "Is there something wrong with me?"

"You think I know anything about tears?" I say quietly. In actuality I know more about the. Then I'd ever care to admit. I have sixteen years worth, my life before Dauntless is a trail of them. I can't tell Tris that, though. For the past two years I haven't shed a single tear, except for the first noght. The first night I cried tears of joy, tears of freedom.

"If I had for given him," Tris says, "do you think he would be alive now?"

"I don't know," I reply. He probably would've jumped eventually anyway. I press a hand to her cheek, and she turns to it.

"I feel like it's my fault."

"It isn't your fault," I say, touching her forehead to mine.

"But I should have. I should have forgiven him."

"Maybe. Maybe there's more we all could have done, but we just have to let the guilt remind us to do better next time."

I internally slap myself. That was such an Abnegation thing to say. She'll figure out who I really am. Tris frowns and pulls back. She noticed my slip. It's something both her father and mine would've said at the weekly meetings.

"What faction did you come from, Four?"

"It doesn't matter. This is where I am now. Something you would do well to remember for yourself."

I hesitate for a second. I'm not sure how she will react but I press my lips to her forehead. I feel her eyes flutter shut. Neither of us move, we just stay there for a long time.

**A/N so what did you all think? Midterms start tomorrow and I've been really busy all week but I should update again soon. Please don't get mad if I don't though. Also PM me with any oneshots**

**XOXOX **

**vicki**


	21. Fears

"Where were you after Eric's speech?" Zeke asks for what must be the millionth time, as I walk toward where the simulation serum is kept.

"I already told you, I was hiding in my room." I say, while I pull out the black box, it has two needles, I guess some people want others to know there weakness. I usually trash the second one, sometimes I use it myself, to see if going through twice makes any difference. I hasn't, not in the two years I've been trying. Nothing has ever changed.

"No you weren't, I checked." Zeke said.

"How do you know I wasn't just ignoring you?"

"I have a key you pansycake." I groan. I forgot he somehow managed to get the spare key to my apartment not long after we became members. I don't remember exactly how he did it, I just know I woke up the next morning, hungover, with him sitting on my dresser, just staring at me. It was creepy to say the least, but with a best friend like Zeke, you come to expect it.

"I was just wandering. I couldn't take the speech anymore." Zeke laughs.

"Do you know who else was missing?" he asks with a glint in his eye. I already know what he's going to say.

"No, and I don't care."

"The Stiff!" he laughs and walks away, toward where I saw Shauna and Lauren disappear earlier. I walk the other way towards the pit.

The pit is practically empty except for three people standing at the railing of the Chasm. They appear to be throwing papers over the side. I recognise the shortest of the figures immediatly. It's Tris. I decide in that second to do something I told myself I would never do. I slow my steps as I mount the stairs, taking them slower than I usually do. Hopefully Tris will see me and follow. I hear a soft scrape behind me, alerting me that I'm being followed. I go into the room and wait until I hear the door shut quietly behind me. There's soft panting coming from the other end if the room.

"Since you're here, you might as well go in with me." I say trying to sound nonchalant. I don't look over my shoulder, I know it's her.

"Into your fear landscape?"

"Yes." I hear her start toward me.

"I can do that?" she asks still unsure.

"The serum connects you to the program," I say "but the program determines whose landscape you go through. And right now, it's set to put us through mine."

"You would let me see that?" she's probably the only person I would ever let in, I won't even let Zeke come in with me, and he's practically my brother.

"Why else do you think I'm going in?" I ask quietly. I was going to go without her, but I feel like she needs to see this. I feel like if I show her this, maybe I'll have a chance with her. "There are somethings I want to show you."

I hold up the syringe and carefully inject her neck. She stays mostly still, except for around her eyes, which tighten momentarily in pain. I pass her the black box. She takes out the syringe.

"I've never done this before." She looks nervous.

"Right here," I say, touching the spot right at the juncture where it'll be easiest. Tris stands on tip toes and pushs the needle in. I watch her face as the familiar pain comes and goes. She goes and puts down the box and I take her hand. Her fingers are warm and soft. I open the door with my free hand and walk into the darkened room. Her grip on my hand tightens slightly.

"See if you can figure out why they call me Four," I say, as the simulation is about to start. The door clicks shut behind us and Tris moves closer to me. Our arms touching.

"What's your real name?" My fears will defiantly tell her that. I wonder what order they'll be in this time.

"See if you can figure that out too."

The simulation starts the second the last syllable is out of my mouth. The wind picks up around us and the ground creaks like metal. Around us the city skyline becomes visible, we are hogh above it. Panic grips my insides causing my heart to quicken. Tris looks totally calm and collected standing up here. If I wasn't so scared the view would probably be beautiful. Tris leans against me to protect herself from falling. I wrap my arm around her shoulder and try to breathe through my mouth, I can never jump, I can never make myself do it, so I just calm myself and hope it ends quickly.

Tris seems to realize I'm not just holding her so she doesn't fall and a look of worry crosses her face.

"We have to jump off, right?" I can't bring myself to speak so I just nod.

"On three, okay?" This girl is insane. I think about sitting down and refusing to move, but instead I find myself nodding again. She grips my arm and counts down too quickly for my tastes. She pulls me hard and I find myself following this madwoman over the edge. We drop like stones. I clench my teeth so I don't scream. Then we stop. We're both on the floor. I realize what fear this is and take an involuntay gasp. My hand flies to my chest where I can feel pressure already building. Tris helps me up.

"What's next?"

"It's-" I don't get to finish the sentence before the walls start to move in, causing Tris to fall into me. I start folding in on myself. I groan as the ceiling comes down on top of me.

"Confinement," Tris answers herself. I make a noise like a trapped bear. I can barely see her, but her eyes seem to shine in the darkness, like little beacons. The walls press against my back and I grimace. I can't let myself panic.

"Hey," Tris says "It's okay. Here-" She wraps my arms around her, so I have more space. If I weren't so scared I'd be thrilled at the contact. She's tiny in my arms, I can feel the muscles in her back flexing as she crouches

"This is the first time I'm happy I'm so small." she laughs. It's obvious she's trying to calm me down.

"Mmhmm," I manage to groan. My chest feels constricted and my lungs feel deflated.

"We can't break out of here," she says. "It's easier to face a fear head on right?" she doesn't wait for my answer. "So what you need to do is make the space smaller. Make it worse so it gets better. Right?"

"Yes." It's all I can manage through my clenched teeth. I can't breathe.

"Okay. We'll have to crouch down, then. Ready?" I'm so not ready as she pulls me down with her. The wood above us pushs closer as we sink to the floor. We wind up sitting so she's on one of my ankles with her back pressed to my chest and I have one knee bent next to her head. It's a jumble of limbs. My heart does another painful squeeze.

"Ah," I rasp. "This is worse. This is definatly worse..."

"Shh," Trus demands, "Arms around me." I obediently listen, maybe if I do I can get out of this quicker not that I'm in a rush for what comes next. Despite myself I'm enjoying the closeness. Even totally panicked I know I might never be this close to Tris again.

"The simulation measures your fear response." she says softly. She's repeating exactly what I told the initiates, but surprisingly it helps some. "So if you can calm your heatbeat down, it will move on to the next one. Remember? So try to forget we're here."

"Yeah?" my lips brush her ear as I speak. "That easy, huh?"

"You know, most boys would enjoy being trapped in close quarters with a girl." I can practically hear her eye roll. I remeber where I am again, and once again the terror overtakes me.

"Not claustrophobic people, Tris!" I sound desperate, even to my own ears.

"Okay, okay." Tris puts her hand over mine and guides it to her chest, so it rests over her heart. "Feel my heartbeat. Can you feel it?"

"Yes."

"Feel how steady it is?"

"It's fast." I say it without thinking. Being scared brings out my inner smart ass.

"Yes, well, that has nothing to do with the box." I feel Tris wince. Then the meaning of her words hit me. I find myself smiling widely. I decide to let it pass for now, but the minute I get an opening I'm going to use this new bit of information. "Every time you feel me breathe, you breathe. Focus on that."

"Okay." she takes a deep breath and I follow her lead. It helps a little, but not enough for the simulation to register.

"Why don't you tell me where this fear comes from. Maybe talking about it will help us... somehow."

People always say talking helps. I can never force more than a sentence out.

"Um... Okay." I take a deep breath with her. "This one is from my fantastic childhood. Childhood punishments. The tiny closet upstairs."

In Abnegation the biggest punishment most kids get is being sent to bed without dinner. I got beaten. Even for the smallest of mistakes I would recieve a dozen whips with a belt. The scars are still on my back, only now the worst of them are covered in permanent ink. Covered, but never really gone.

"My mother kept our winter coats in our closet."

The memories assault me full blast then. Images of my father, the dark cramped closet, and my mothers tear stained face wash away any semblance of calm I may have had.

"I don't..." I gasp. "I don't really want to talk about it anymore."

"Okay. Then... I can talk. Ask me something." I decide to bring ul her slip from earlier, just to see how she tries to cover it.

"Okay." I laugh shakily. "Why is your heart racing, Tris?"

She cringes and says, "Well, I..." she pauses as she searches for a suitable answer. "I barely know you." I smile, she's not a good liar. "I barely know you and I'm crammed up against you in a box, Four, what do you think?" I decide to change the subject, it's calming asking her tough questions. Plus, it's funny now that I know she likes me, at least a little.

"If we were in your fear landscape," I say, "would I be in it?"

"I'm not afraid of you."

"Of course your not." She's probably the only initiate that isn't. "But that's not what I meant."

I laugh again, and this time the walls break apart leaving us in a circle of light. I sigh and life my arms off Tris. She jumps to her feet and brushs herself off. I'm smiling like a moron. This is probably the most interesting simulation I've ever had.

"Maybe you were cut for Candor," I say, "because you're a terrible liar."

"I think my aptitude test ruled that one out pretty well."

I shake my head, deciding there to tell her I'm like her. I am Divergent.

"The aptitude test tells you nothing." She narrows her eyes.

"What are you trying to tell me? Your test isn't the reason you ended up in Dauntless?" she looks excited, she already guessed what I am.

"Not exactly,no? I..." I trail off as I realize where we are. Looking over my shoulder I feel my heart rate quicken. The woman stands a few yards away. The one I must kill. She's pointing a gun at us. She won't shoot, she can't. The worst part of this fear is that I can never remember what she looks like after. Not a single feature sticks in my mind.

The table appears with the gun. Tris's eyes widen in realization.

"You have to kill her." she says softly.

"Every single time."

"She isn't real."

"She looks real." I bit my lip, a nervous habit I picked up from my mother. "It feels real."

"If she was real, she would have killed you already."

"It's okay." I nod, trying to reassure myself nore than her. "I'll just... do it. This one's not... not so bad. Not as much panic involved."

Not much panic, but a hell of a lot of dread. I quickly pick up the gun and load the chamber. The quicker I get past this fear the better. The worst is yet to come.

I hold the gun out in front of me. I squeeze my eye shut and take a deep breath. As I exhale I pull the trigger. The woman crumples into a shapeless heap. Already her face is disappearing from my mind.

I go numb and the gun drops from my hand. I just stare at her body for a minute. I forget Tris, I forget my fourth fear, I forget everything except the crumpled form before me. Something grabs my arm, it barely fazes me, I just continue to look at the body.

"C'mon," a far away voice says. "Let's go. Keep moving."

A sharp tug on my arm brings me back into focus. As we pass the table, her body disappears. A sense of dread grips me, I know what's coming. After this fear Tris will know everything. I steel my nerves and force myself to stay calm.

"Here we go." I whisper.

Ahead of us a dark figure moves in the shadows. He's waiting for me to step into the light. Tris is close to my side, looking curious and somewhat confused. Then Marcus emerges from the shadows.

"Marcus," I hear Tris whisper.

"Here's the part," I say in a trembling voice, "where you figure out my name."

"Is he..." She looks from Marcus to me. He takes a step toward us and I inch back. Then something clicks in her eyes. "Tobias."

It's strange hearing someone call me that after trying so hard for the last two years to forget that part of myself. To forget the scared little kid I was.

Marcus shows his hands. The belt is curled around his fist. I bite back my sob. I need to stay calm, I need to protect Tris from this monster.

"This is for your own good," his voice echoes from the dozen others pressing into the circle of light. They all have the same blank expressions. Then they blink and their eyes turn into black, empty pits.

Already I have started to curl in on myself, to try to block him out. Then the first Marcus grabs my arm and prepares to strike. I bring my arms up to shield my face, just like I always have. Any blow to my body can be covered with clothes but if my face is bruised people will ask questions.

The blow never comes, though I hear the wind whistle. I look up to see Tris pulling the belt from his hand. She looks like she's in pain, but is trying her best to ignore it. She whips the belt around and hits Marcus in the shoulder. He yells and lunges at her.

Something inside me snaps and I push my way between them. Shielding Tris. White hot rage courses through me as he flies at me, claw like nails streached in front of him. Then it's just Tris and I standing alone in the long narrow room, that is the simulation room.

"That's it?" Tris asks. "Those were your worst fears? Why do you only have four..." Her voice trails off as she realizes the meaning behind my nickname. I barely hear her though. I'm in awe.

She stood up to Marcus. Little "Stiff" Tris, the smallest initiate in her year. She did what I have never been able to do. This little girldid something I never thought possible.

I wrap my hand around her elbow and tug her toward me. I kiss her cheek and tighten my arms around her shoulders, and I bury my face in her neck, breathing in her scent. She stands stiff as a board for a second before she wraps her arms around me with a sigh.

"Hey," she says softly. "We got through it."

I lift my head up and run my fingers through her hair, tucking it behind her ear. I silently stroke it as we look at each other.

"You got me through it," I say finally.

"Well. It's east to be brave when they're not my fears." She's being modest. It's hard to stand up against anyone, let alone someone who you have been told to follow your entire life. I lace our fingers together.

"Come on. I have something else to show you."

**A/N Wow, this is a long chapter, 3,000 words! So anyway what do you think? I personally love this scene and hope I did it justice. So please R&R **

**Also, please check out my one shot The Last Laugh, it's Eric's death in his POV. Of you have any one shot suggestions let me know!**

**Vicki XOXO**


	22. Kisses

I lead her down to the chasm, keeping a firm hold on her hand the entire time. Before being Dauntless I never understood why people held hands. It seemed possesive and shallow when I was younger, now, I see it as a way to lend support and express your feelings for a person. Her hand feels perfect in mine. Like it was meant to be there. The thought makes me happy, even though it's extremely sappy. I know if Zeke could hear my thoughts, he'd torture me for the rest of my life.

"So... Four fears." Tris says as we walk the passage leading to my usual spot. Where I go when I feel like my life is churning faster than the river.

"Four fears then; four fears now," I say with a nod. "They haven't changed, so I keep going in there, but..." I hesitate before continuing. "I haven't made any progress."

"You can't be fearless, remember?" Tris says. It's funny how similar we are. I know if she were to say something like that to me, I would respond the same way. "Because you still care about things. About your life."

"I know."

I lead her down the hidden path. She's probably never noticed it before. No one ever does, and that's why I like it so much. It's one of the only places in the compound without a camera, there's no way to be heard over the roar of the water. It's the perfect place to tell someone a secret. It's the perfect place to escape reality for a few minutes.

"You were going to tell me about your aptitude test results," Tris says dragging me out of my thoughts.

"Ah." I scratch the back of my neck. This is the part I've been dreading. I want to tell her, but Amar's warning still rings in my ears. I want to trust Tris with my secret but after two tears of hiding it from everyone it's harder to work up the nerve than I thought. "Does it matter?"

"Yes. I want to know."

"How demanding you are." I say with a smile.

We reach the end lf the path and I carefully lead her over the uneven surface. Our steps leave wet footprints on the rocks. I find the flat rock, where the current is it's weakest and sit down, letting my feet dangle over the edge. It's just a few inches over the water, just enough that I can dangle my legs without wetting my shoes. I relax a little sitting there. I let go of her hand.

"These are things I don't tell people, you know, not even my friends." Next to me she laces her fingers together. I get the feeling she already figured out about my Divergence and is just waiting for my confirmation. I want to give it to her, but something in me is trying to stop me. Telling me to wait. It's the same voice that has kept me alive for the last two years.

"My result was as expected. Abnegation." It's a total lie, and that makes my insides twist painfully. My choices were Erudite or Dauntless. I am far from selfless, though if I had wanted I'm sure I could have survived the rest of my life there, happily even. But then I never would've escaped Marcus, I never would have met my friends. I never would've fallen for Tris.

"Oh." Her shoulders slump slightly, like she's deflating. It makes me feel worse. Then something clicks in her brain. In all technicality she got Abnegation, maybe she thinks the same thing that happened to her happened to me.

"But you chose Dauntless anyway?" she looks hopeful. Like maybe she still is right.

"Out of necessity." That is true. There was never any thought about leaving, it was always something I planned on. Even if my results told me otherwise.

"Why did you have to leave?"

I look away from her. I search for a way to explain what my father did without scaring her. I don't want to scare her away after revealing almost everything I've hidden these past few years to her.

"You had to get away from your dad," she answers herself. "Is that why you don't want to be a Dauntless leader? Because if you were, you might have to see him again?"

I lift a shoulder. That's a big part of it, but there's more. I know if someone were to see is together they would be able to put the peices together and see who I really am. Even though I have done as much as I can to get away from my past, I still look like him. I still have the inherated characteristics that I cannot, no matter how hard I try, erase. There's more to it than my childish fear.

"That, and I've always felt that I don't quite belong among the Dauntless. Not the way they are now, anyway."

"But you're... incredible." She says and I fight the urge to blush. It soinds girly but I always get self concious when people say things like that. "I mean, by Dauntless standards. Four fears is unheard of. How could you not belong here?"

I shrug. Hopefully I look nonchalant. I don't want her to know how proud I am about my fears. That would seem like a Erudite response. Pride is their greatest weakness. I need to seem like I don't really care. Like I still have some Abnegation left in me.

"I have a theory that selflessness and bravery aren't all that different. All your life you've been training to forget yourself, so when you're in danger, it becomes your first instinct. I could belong in Abnegation just as easily." I've seen it. Not just in myself either, but in Tris and the others that have transfered in the past. They keep records of placements and where a person transfers from. If a Stiff transfers and doesn't get eleminated in stage one they usually wind up ranking in the top five.

"Yeah, well," she says, "I left Abnegation bececause I wasn't selfless enough, no matter how hard I tried to be." I smile at that. She's more selfless than anyone else I've met in my entire life.

"That's not entirely true. That girl who let someone throw knives at her to spare a friend, who hit my dad with a belt to protect me- that selfless girl, that's not you?"

She looks thoughtful for a moment. Apparently, this hadn't occured to her, just another reason as to how selfless she really is. Then she frowns.

"You've been paying close attention, haven't you?" Internally, I curse myself.

"I like to observe people." Great, now I sound like a stalker. I am smooth, like a rock pit.

"Maybe you were cut out for, Candor, Four, because you're a terrible liar." I almost smile at that, since I said the same to her not that long ago. I put my hand on the rock next to me, fingers lining up with hers. I look down at them. Her fingers are small and thin. Hands for writing, not firing a gun.

"Fine." I lean in closer, and focus on her lips. She already figured out that I like her, now it's time to see if she feels the same about me. "I watched you because I like you." I look up and meet her eyes. "And don't call me 'Four,' okay? It's nice to hear my name again."

She turns bright red and looks a little shocked by how blunt I was. "But you're older than I am... _Tobias._"

I smile. "Yes, that whoppping two-year gap really is _insurmountable _isn't it?"

"I'm not trying to be self-deprecating, I just don't get it. I'm younger. I'm not pretty. I-"

I start laughing. A real laugh, one that seems to come from deep down. I haven't really laughed in years.

"Don't pretend," Tris says breathily. "You know I'm not. I'm not ugly, but I am certainly not pretty."

She isn't traditionally pretty. But there's beauty in her. It radiates from her with everything she does, even something simple like walking, it's there, plain for everyone to see.

"Fine. You're not pretty. So?" I kiss her cheek. "I like how you look. You're deadly smart. You're brave. And even though you found out about Marcus..." My voice softens, almost unconciously. "You aren't giving me that look. Like I'm a kicked puppy or something."

"Well. You're not."

We lock eyes. I don't amswer. I want to kiss her, something in me tells me I need to but I gesitate fora second, what if I'm reading her wrong, what if I've scared her. Then I touch her face, when she doesn't pull away I brush my lips against hers. Again she doesn't pull away so I fully press our lips together.

Then she tenses and I pull back quickly. She looks slightly disappointed, like she thinks she did something wrong, like she's messed up. I take her face in my hands, running my fingers along the angles of her cheeks and jaw. I kiss her again, stronger this time. I almost jump when she wraps her arm around my neck. I hadn't expected that at all. Her hand slide into my hair.

We just stay like that for a while. Kissing deep in the chasm where no one will interrupt. Here we are able to be together without judgement, without fear.

**A/N so I had massive writers block with this chapter. I had to re-write it like 10 times before this, hopefully it's good. This chapter is dedicated to all of my lovely reviewers, without you I would've abandoned writing long agO. **

**XOXOXOXO **

**Vicki**


	23. Scream

The next morning I rose earlier than normal. I'm practically giddy as I go down to the Pit and get my hair cut. Now, by Dauntless standards it was still short, but I felt like, in cutting it, I was closer to Tris. Terribly corny, yes, but I honestly didn't care. I am smiling like an idiot the entire time the woman is cutting my hair, and can't seem to stop no matter what.

Leaving the shop, I see some of the initiates walking toward the dining hall. A quick look tells me that none of them are Tris. I can't tell who they are, but one girl elbows the other and they both turn to look at me as they walk. By the looks of it they have no idea who I am for a minute, then the shorter one's eyes flash in realization and she trips. I laugh and start walking toward the smell of food

Outside the dining hall I stop for a minute. I need to appear as though nothing has happened. Our relationship needs to be kept hidden. No one can know, yet. The minute she finishes initiation, we can tell people. Taking a deep breath, I walk into the room. I allow myself to look at her from the corner of my eye. She is frowning at a piece of toast that she is practically stabbing in an attempt to butter it.

I slump down next to Zeke and start stealing his food.

"What's with the hair?" he asks.

"It was getting too long." I grumble around a piece of bacon.

"It wasn't even touching your ears, and this makes you look like a Stiff." Sometimes I wonder if Zeke has any form of mental filter. My guess is that it fell out when he was young.

"Whatever."

"Why are you so happy?" Shauna asks. I quickly allow my eyes to flick toward Tris. Our eyes lock for a minute. Her light eyes are searching, looking for an answer to her questions. I force myself to look away, but not quickly enough. My friends had followed my eyes to her and are now sharing smug smiles.

"I knew it!" Zeke slaps my shoulder.

"Shut up!" I hiss at Zeke. "She's still an initiate, no one can know!"

"Oh, forbidden love," Shauna laughs. I glare at her. Zeke starts to hum under his breath. Something about love being in the air. I punch him. Shauna turns serious.

"What if Eric finds out?" she asks. I shrug.

"He'll get mad, might even fail her out of initiation, he could take away her rankings." Shauna nods and elbows Zeke.

"You can tease him after initiation is over," Zeke makes a face but nods.

"Fine, but I will show no mercy." I roll my eyes.

Lauren and I are standing in front of the initiates outside the landscape room. They are going to go through Lauren's original landscape.

"Two years ago," she says, "I was afraid of spiders,suffocation, walls that inch slowly inward and trap you between them, uncontrollable bleeding, getting run over by a train, my father's death, public humiliation, and kidnapping by men without faces."

The group stares at her blankly. I keep my eyes trained on the floor while she talks, I don't want them to ask about mine.

"Most of you will have anywhere from ten to fifteen fears in your fear landscapes. That is the average number." This years group are for the most part in the average range. I know because we've already started setting them up. Lauren and I have been compiling the data for a few days now to make sure there are no glitches. Every time Tris's name pops up she shoos me away until she's finished. I have no clue about her fears.

"What's the lowest number someone has gotten?" Lynn asks. Internally,I groan.

"In recent years," says Lauren, "four."

I can feel the weight of all the initiates stares as I study my smudged shoes. I can feel Tris's eyes boring into me, but I refuse to look up.

"You will not find out your number today. The simulation you will experience my fears instead of your own." I notice Tris give Christina a pointed look. Christina looks at me. It looks like she thought she was going through my landscape. I would rather die than let anyone other than Tris in there.

Tris.

She isn't looking at me anymore, but something about her posture tells me she's hurt. Maybe, she thinks I am using her. That I don't really like her, that I lied to her. The thought makes me feel sick. I decide that after the exercise I will talk to her about everything, make sure she understands why I didn't talk to her this morning.

"For the purposes of this exercise, though, each of you will only face one of my fears, to get a sense for how the simulation works."

Lauren assigns random people fears as I hook myself up to the computer. I watch as an army of spiders crawls all over Will. He starts analyzing them about halfway through, identifying them with their scientific names and spouting continuous facts about them. Uriah is trapped in a box, much like the one Tris and I were in last night, he pushes against the walls as hard as he can, with no result. Eventually he stops pushing and curls in on himself, effective passing the test. I have to bite my knuckles to keep from laughing aloud to Peter's public humiliation. I won't go into detail but lets just say, pink isn't his color.

Then it's Tris's turn. She is standing in a field. Hands clamp around her arms and over her mouth. Her heart rate spikes, the fear has morphed into her own. She thrashes wildly. Then the screams start. Heart breaking screams erupt from her coming from her enter.

"Let her out!" Christina screams behind me. "This an actual fear of hers!" Will, Marlene and Uriah shout in agreement.

"Give her a minute." Lauren whispers next to me, we have to give her a chance. Another scream, this one even worse than the last, and my heart shatters for her. I can't listen to this anymore. I have to get her out of there.

"Stop," I say as professionally as possible. The lights come on in the room, and Tris drops to her knees. I want to go in there to comfort her, to hold her, but I can't. I can only hope she will understand what I have to do. Lauren and I go into the room. Lauren stays by the door as I march over to her. I grab Tris's arm and pull her to her feet.

"What the hell was that, Stiff?" I growl.

"I..." She hiccups. "I didn't-"

"Get yourself together! This is pathetic."

Something in her eyes changes. She is no longer scared, something snaps. Suddenly her eyes are dry and the hiccups have stopped. For a second I think that she has calmed herself down. Then quick as a f;ash her hand whips out and smacks into my cheek. She hits me so hard my head snaps back and I'm disoriented for a second.

"Shut up," she says. Then she pulls her arm from me and storms out. On the first day I wondered how much it would take to break her.

Now, I have my answer.

**A/N So I was really excited to write this chapter for some reason so I decided I would ignore my homework and work on it :) Please R&R and let me know what you think.**

**PM me for any one shots (Or check out The Last Laugh)**

**XOXOXO**

**Vicki**


	24. Lost

My cheek was on fire as I ran through the Pit fifteen minutes later. I needed to find Tris before any of the leaders found out about what happened. She needs to know I only said the things I did in order to protect her.

I searched everywhere in the pit, and down the halls leading away from it and was just about to go check the training room and the dorm again when Zeke stops me.

"A bunch of us are going drinking you in?" I shook my head.

"I lost an initiate, I don't have time to drink with you," I start to shoulder past him but his hand on my shoulder stops me.

"Which one?" He asks suddenly serious.

"Tris, she freaked out in the fear landscapes and ran away, Lauren Is still finishing up with the rest of them but I need to find her," I say it all quickly.

"I think she left, I just saw a little blonde girl hop on one of the trains going into the city," Zeke said.

"Do you know which factions the train was going through?" I asked.

"This one goes to Amity and Erudite." I cursed under my breath.

"She went to go see her brother," I hissed. "Did you report her?" Zeke gets a guilty look in his eye.

"Sorry man, but Max was doing an inspection, he saw her on the monitor, I had to do it," I nod.

"It's fine man, I'll just have to make sure I intervene before Eric destroys her," I said. Zeke patted my shoulder and the two of us started walking toward the mess hall.

"So what happened to your cheek?" Zeke asked. I launched into a full explanation of the days events then, telling him all about the kidnapping and Tris slapping me. Zeke was a good listener, keeping his sarcastic comments to a minimum.

Just as I reach the end of my explanation, Zeke points toward the hall leading to the leader's offices. Eric was leading a small girl by the arm into his. The girl was Tris. I start to get u but Zeke grabs my arm.

"Wait a minuter, it'll seem suspicious if you walk in as he starts to interrogate her, she's a big girl, she can handle Eric for a few minutes." I sigh.

"He'll tear her apart if I don't go right now," I said. "She's an awful liar, if he figures something out she'll be factionless or worse before you can count to five."

"Just give it a minute, you don't want to seem too attached Eric isn't stupid he'll figure out your relationship if you just run in there." He has a point, no matter how much I want to deny it. I cannot put Tris in anymore danger than she already is. I force myself to wait two more minuted before I start down the hall. It's hard not to take off running down the hall,but I manage a fairly normal pace.

When I reach the door, I quickly throw open the door and walk in. Tris looks terrified as I walk in and Eric has a strangely triumphant look on his face. Like he's beaten her somehow.

"What are you doing?" I ask Eric.

"Leave the room," he commands. I notice his mask is still weak, it looks like he went full on Divergent hunter on Tris. His movements are a little too exaggerated, and his face slightly overly animated. Most people wouldn't notice these small changes, but I have trained myself to look for them, because if I miss even the smallest of hints, I could wind up like Amar.

"No," I say. "She's just a foolish 's no need to drag her here and interrogate her."

"Just a foolish girl," Eric snorts. "If she were just a foolish girl,she wouldn't be ranked first,now would she?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose and look at Tris from between my fingers. I try to tell her with my eyes to act weak. I try to tell her to act like she did after the others attacked her. She seems to get the idea and looks down at her feet, she lowers her shoulders a little. It's good, but not enough.

"I... I was just embarrassed and didn't know what to do." She puts her hands in her pockets and looks at the floor. When she looks back up there are tears shining in her eyes. Mentally I applaud her,it's a good performance, so far at least. "I tried to... and..." She shakes her head hard. Now, it's my turn.

"You tried what?" asks Eric.

"Kiss me," I say. "And I rejected her,and she went running off like a five-year-old. There's really nothing to blame her for but stupidity." I feel bad for the last part, Tris is anything but stupid, but if I didn't say that Eric never would have gone for it and he would have killed us both now, and asked questions later. That is the thing about giving idiots power, they become dangerous.

We both wait.

Eric looks between the both of us before he busts out laughing. It is a fake laugh but it means he bought it, at least for now. "Isn't he a little old for you, Tris?" He says, smiling again.

Tris wipes her cheek, like there had been a tear there. "Can I go now?"

"Fine," Eric says,"but you are not allowed to leave the compound without supervision again, you hear me?" Eric turns toward me. I suppress a groan. "And _you_... had better make sure none of the transfers leave this compound again. And that none of the others try to kiss you."

I roll my eyes. "Fine." Tris leaves the room and Eric laughs again.

"So you really rejected her, huh?"

"Yes." I keep it short, that way he will let it drop sooner.

"I'm surprised I would've thought you would have jumped at the opportunity to get in the Stiffs pants." I want to punch him. I probably would have to if it were not for the fact that I had already pushed it enough with him for one day.

"You do realize she's an initiate, right? Besides I have more respect for her than that." Eric rolled his eyes.

"Say whatever you want, and get out of my office."

"With pleasure,"I said as I quickly walked out. When I step out Tris stands up from where she had been squatting in the shadows. Her arms are crossed and she looks like a child who got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

"What?" She says.

"Are you all right?" I touch her cheek softly. She bats my hand away.

"Well," she says,"first I got reamed out in front of everyone, and then I had to chat with a woman who's trying to destroy my old faction, and then Eric almost tossed my friends out of Dauntless, so yeah, it's shaping up to be a pretty great day, _Four_."

I shake my head and look toward the building on my right, it is ancient. Probably built long before the factions were a thought in anybody's mind.

"Why do you care, anyway?" She continues. "You an either be the cruel instructor or concerned boyfriend." Tris tenses when the last words escapes her. I almost did not notice her slip because my mind was still reeling from her calling me cruel. "You can't play both parts at the same time."

"I am not cruel," I scowl. "I was protecting you this morning. How do you think Peter and his idiot friends would have reacted if they discovered that you and I were..." I sighed. There really is no good way of putting this. "You would never win. They would always call your ranking a result of my favoritism rather than your skill."

Tris opens and closes her mouth a few times, likes she's struggling for an answer. Her cheeks turn bright red and she quickly covers them with her hands.

"You didn't have to insult me to prove something to them," she says finally.

'And you didn't have to run off to your brother just because I hurt you," I say. I feel harsh saying it like that, but it's true. It was idiotic of her to run away like that, not to mention dangerous. I rub the back of my neck. "Besides- it worked, didn't it?"

"At my expense."

"I didn't think it would affect you this way." I shrugged and looked down. "Sometimes I forget I can hurt you. That you are capable of being hurt."

It is true. Most of the time Tris is like a fortress. She will not go down, she will not break, she will not bow. It's hard to remember that for some unknown reason she has allowed me into her heart. I forget that my words can actually hurt her, unlike those of so many others.

All of thee sudden, Tris stands up on tiptoes and kissed me. Only our lips touch.

"You're brilliant, you know that?" She shakes her head. "You always know exactly what to do."

"Only because I've been thinking about htis for a long time," I say, kissing her briefly. "How would I handle it, if you and I..."Suddenly I remember what she said before, and I pull back. I have teasing material. that causes me to smile. "Did I hear you call me your boyfriend, Tris?"

"Not exactly." Tris shrugs. "Why? Do you want me to?"

I slip my hands over her neck and press my thumbs under her chin, tilting her head back so our foreheads touch. For a minute, I just stand there, enjoying the closeness.

"Yes," I say. Then I remember what happened with Eric and my smile slips."You think we convinced him you're just a silly girl?"

"I hope so," she says. "Sometimes it helps to be small. I'm not sure I convinced the Erudite, though."

Something about her mentioning the Erudite reminds me of the papers stashed behind my dresser. The ones I've been afraid to tell anyone about. The war plans sent from Erudite to Dauntless. The plans that could very well kill both of our parents.

'There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

"Not now." I look around us. There are not many cameras around here but it's a relatively busy hall. I am honestly surprised we haven't been interrupted already. "Meet me back here at eleven thirty. Don't tell anyone where you are going." She nods, and I quickly set off down the hall to my apartment.

**A/N Sorry for the super late update. Please, don't hate me. the blizzard knocked out my power. I decided to split this chapter because I felt like it was getting too long. The next one is probably going to be super short, but that means it will be up sooner than usual probably (Homework permitting)**

**Don't forget to Review **

**XOXOXOX**

**Vicki**


	25. Erudite

When Tris shows up that night I did not say anything I just grab her hand and started walking toward the train. I quickly pulled myself in, with ease that only comes with loads of practice and pulled her in behind me. She fell into my chest. I wrapped my fingers around her elbows to keep her steady as we bounced along the track. The glass building above the compound shrunk into the distance.

"What is it you need to tell me?" Tris shouts over the roar of the wind.

"Not yet," I say. I will tell her once we reach the Erudite section of the city.

I sink to the floor and pull her with me, so my back is to the wall and she is facing me. Some strands of her hair fly loose and whip in front of ner face. I press my palms onto her face and pull her in for a kiss.

Around us the train slows as we reach the middle of the city. The air is cold, but Tris is warm in my arms. I tilt my head and kiss the skin just beneath her jaw. It might have been the wind, but I could have sworn she sighed.

The train wobbles and she throws her hand to keep from falling. It lands on my hip. Instead of moving it like I thought she would, she shifts, swinging a leg over me so she is pretty much straddling me. I almost gasp at how daring she's being when she presses her lips to mine.

I sit up straighter and slide my hands down her back. I unzip her jacket a little and she presses her shaking hand to my leg. I pull away, afraid that I have made her nervous. While I pull back I notice the ink along her collar bone. I brush my fingers over the three little birds and smile.

"Birds," I say. "Are they crows? I keep forgetting to ask."

Tris smiles sadly. Like I have hit a sensative subject. I am about to apologize for asking when she answers.

"Ravens. One for each member of my family. You like them?" Instead of answering I kiss each one of them in turn. She obviously cares very much for her family. I touch her cheek as I finish and notice we are nearing our destination.

"I hate to say this, but we have to get up now." she nods and opens her eyes. We both stand and I pull her over to the open door. It is past midnight, so the entire city should be dark. I lift an hand and point into the distance, where the Erudite compound is. It shines brightly, like every light in every house has been turned up as high as possible.

"Apparently the city ordinances don't mean anything to them," I say, "because their lights will be on all night."

"No one else has noticed?" She says, frowning.

"I'm sure they have, but they haven't done anything to stop it. It may be because they don't want to cause a problem over something so small." I shrug. I am nervous telling her all of this, the secret that I have kept for weeks now, afraid to come forward with the information. "But it makes me wonder what the Erudite are doing that requires night light"

I turn toward Tris, leaning against the wall.

"Two things you should know about me. The first is that I am deeply suspicious of people in general," I say. "It is my nature to expect the worst of them. And the second is that I am unexpectedly good with computers."

Tris nods, but looks at me oddly. Like she's trying to picture me sitting behind a screen. It is a weird thing to see actually. According to my friemds it is like seeing Eric dressed kn pink or Zeke not having a sarcastic comment at the ready.

"A few weeks ago, before training started, I was at work and I found a way into the Dauntless secure files. Apparently we are not as skilled as the Erudite are at security and what I discovered was what looked like war plans. Thinly veiled commands, supply lists, maps. Things like that. And those files were sent by Erudite."

"War?" Tris brushes hair away from her face. She does not look suprised in the least. In fact it almost looked like she already figured out who the plans are against. Who the Erudite plan to overthrow.

"War on Abnegation?" She asks. I take her hand and lace our fingers together.

"The faction that controls the government. Yes."

She looks like she is going to be sick as I continue.

"All those reports are supposed to stir up dissensionagainst Abnegation," I keep my eyes trained on the city outside the train car. I can not bring myself to look at her just yet. "Evidently the Erudite now want to speed up the process. I have no idea what to do about it... or what could even be done."

"But," Tris says, "why would Erudite team up with Dauntless?"

I stay quiet for a minute. Tris's eyes light up in acknowledgment. Then she bites the inside of her cheek, like the idea is gnawing away at her.

She stares at me wide-eyed.

"They're going to use us."

"I wonder," I say, "how they plan to get us to fight."

That was the only peice of information missing in the file. It is almost like the Erudite do not trust the Dauntless with the entire plan. Only the bits they absolutely need to know. Even that is only in only the vaguest of terms.

Tris hair blows across her face again, but this time she leaves it.

"I don't know," is all she says.

**A/N So I wound up abandoning this chapter because I got ambushed by like a million different ideas that I felt the need to write before I continued. So check out Choices (Christina's POV on leaving Candor) and First Fight (Eric's POV while fighting Four in initiation.)**

**Hope you liked this chapter, it was harder to write then I expected.**

**XOXOX**

**Vicki**


	26. Blur

The Dauntless initiation ceremony is one of the loudest things I have ever experienced. People are everywhere. Most of them are completely wasted by lunch. There are people getting hurt everywhere you look. I had to help at least ten people on my way to the mess hall.

After my final trip to the nurse I get cornered by Eric, he is holding a syringe filled with an orange-brown liquid, that looks much like the one used in simulations.

"New law, every member is required to get injected," he told me as he came closer with it. I took a small step back.

"Give it here, I'll do myself," I said. He laughed.

"Has to be done by a leader," he had a shit eating grin on his face. It made me feel slightly nervous. Hesitantly I allowed him to plunge the needle into my neck._  
_

"Now, was that so hard?" he asked when he was finished. I bit back a snarl. There is just something about Eric that makes me irrationally furious. Maybe it is his ugly face, or just her general persona.

"Is that all?" I asked impatiently. "you know some if us have actual work to do." Eric snarled.

"Watch your mouth." I barked a laugh.

"I'm not afraid of you, Eric," I tensed just in case he decided to lunge at me. "After all, we both know you can't beat me. You will always be second best." It was cruel, but this is Eric and he does not deserve any sort of looked like he was going to punch me when Max rounded the corner.

"Oh good, Eric, you're here," he said, as he approached. "Did you get everyone?"

"Just about," he responded, all of the sudden any trace of anger was gone from his face. "Only th initiates are left." Max nodded, then he turned to me.

"Are your transfers ready for today?" I nod.

"They should be, they all seemed well prepared." Max smiled and clapped my shoulder before beckoning to Eric and starting off down the hall. I hurried down to lunch.

I grab a plate and sit down next to Zeke and Shauna.

"I say she comes in first," Shauna says and I slide in next to her.

"No, it'll be Uriah then her," Zeke says with an eye roll. "He is my brother after all."

"Do I need to remind you that you placed fifth." I laughed.

"Shut up golden boy," Zeke snaps. "Not everyone can come in first every time.

"I didn't place first in everything..." I trailed off realizing he was right. I had never thought of it like that. Zeke laughed.

"Your right, you never did well with girls, until you know two days ago." I hit him in the back of the head.

"You have been single all your life, Zeke." Shauna said. "You couldn't even get your own mother to go to dinner with you." Zeke turned bright red.

"I have so had dates, loads of dates." He managed to stutter out.

"We're not talking about the fruit," Shauna laughed evilly. She threw her head back in laughter and I saw Zeke look at her in an almost loving way. I smacked his arm and raised my eyebrows at him. He shot me the bird discreetly and I started laughing.

Peter and Drew were passing when I laughed and looked scared. I guess I do not seem like the laughing type. To further mess with them I said in a loud voice.

"Oh look there they are now!" Zeke caught on immediately and laughed.

"I can't believe they think they're going to pass initiation," he snickered. The two shared a panic filled look before hurrying out of the room. The two of us started laughing and Lauren shot as a worried look as she slid in next to Zeke.

"Do I want to know?" she asked. Zeke shook his head.

"Just messing with some initiates," I shrugged. Lauren smiled at that.

"I did that earlier to Marlene and Uriah, the two of them were petrified."

After about an hour of goofing off Lauren and I headed up to the simulation room, where the leaders were already settling themselves in. We go in to the viewing room and lean against the walls. We will not be able to see what the initiates see, but the leaders will. Lauren and I only get to see their reactions like everyone else.

The Dauntless born initiates arrive a minute later and Lauren gives them a quick run through. They all sit in tense silence until Marlene goes in. She hs just about reached the end of her simukation when my initiates arrIve. I go into the side room for a minute to talk to Laren for a second, asking about how much longer she thinks she will need for hers and then I go back out and lean against the wall, waiting for everyone to arrive.

Tris walks past me and we are both careful to avoid eye contact. All the leaders are here and we can not risk it. They are already suspicious enough of her as it is. I notice that Tris is left standing because she was the last one in

"Hey, Tris!" Uriah calls over to her from is seat across the room. He pats his leg. "You can sit on my lap, if you want." I grit my teeth and take a deep breath. He doe not mean anything by it. He is just a stupid kid. My best friends little brother, the little kid who broke his nose sneezing. The idiot who asked me if I was gay.

"Tempting," Tris calls back with a smile. "It's fine. I like to stand." I ball up my fists at my sides for a minute. Then I take a deep breath. They are just joking around, I chant in my head.

Just then Marlene finishes and the leaders go in, to congratulate her.

"Transfers," I announce, "the order in which you go through the final test was taken from your rankings as they now stand. So Drew will go first, and Tris will go last."

I am glad Tris will be going last, it means she will know what she is up against. It is arguably the best spot to go in. The only problem is that some people let the wait get to them.

When Eric sticks Drew with the needle, Tris and I exchange glances. It was a quick look, but hopefully she saw that I was trying to wish her good luck.

The initiates times are all relatively good this year. No one longer than half an hour, but they are not as mentally prepared as they should be. At one point Molly flat out screams and starts shaking, to the point where she almost does not finish.

Throughout the entire thing, I wish I could just close my eyes and block it out like Tris does, but as their trainer I am required to watch, no matter how dull.

Christina scores twelve minutes, Will scores ten minutes, which greatly suprises me, and Peter scores fifteen.

Almost too soon, it is Tris's turn. Eric calls h forward and plunges the needle into her neck, much like he did to me earlier. She takes a deep breath and stands slightly taller before stepping into the room. I crossed my fingers tightly behind my back.

**A/N So you are all probably annoyed that this isn't Tris's landscape but I didn't have my book so I had to use a PDF and it cut of here. Please tell me what you thought anyway **


	27. Seven

It is dark for a minute in the simulation room once the door slams behind Tris. Behind my back my fingers begin to cramp from their awkward crossed position. I bite my lip as she appears on the screen. Her head whips around, like a bull. Then she drops into a crouch and strokes the ground.

"Interesting," Max grunts to Eric who nods. In the simulation Tris points over her shoulder and then stands back up holding her arms as though she is shooting. Again and again she squeezes the "trigger." The heart monitor calms itself and she drops the gun.

Eric nods at the screen. She crouches down and presses her hands to the sides. I am reminded of her simulation of drowning in a box. I am willing to bet that is the fear she is going through right now. She starts hitting the sides of her invisible trap as hard as she can, but to no avail.

"Come on,Tris," I mutter under my breath. "You have this." Her heart beat spikes. Then she starts to kick. At first nothing happens and I internally curse, but then, after a few tries Gibbs that up as well. She looks defeated as she presses a hand against the invisible wall. I want to hold her,to make her feel better.

As soon as that thought crosses my mind the screen changes, telling everyone that she has passed that simulation. Then she starts to get thrown around, violently. She flails around desperately.

"Looks like this one is afraid of loosing control, take note of that," Max mutters to Jackie, one of the other leaders. She quickly scribbles on the notepad in front of her. In the simulation Tris lets out a scream, only it does not sound like fear, more like frustration. I smile a little at that. The screen flashes again and Tris falls completely still, like a statue. Instead of struggling against whatever it is that is holding her, she takes deep breaths and closes her eyes. If I had not known better I might have thought she was sleeping. She shakes her head.

'No," Tris says, to whatever it is scaring her. Her eyes open and they appear to be tear filled.

"Know what I smell?" She voice rises drastically. It is strange, I have never heard anyone speak in the simulation before. Apparently the leaders are in the same boat as me because they are all exchanging looks.

"I smell rain." Max laughs.

"Looks like we have a little firecracker," he says loudly. The only reason the leaders are saying anything out loud is because they know no one, except Lauren and I can hear them, they know that this is the last person to go. In the simulation Tris smiles and the screen changes again. She is doing extremely well. She smooths her shirt like she just came home from somewhere and looks around. Earning a few laughs.

Then her calm heart rate doubles too quickly. She goes from calm to terrified in under a second. Automatically my hands clench at my sides. The leaders actually looked concerned as she presses herself against the wall.

"Should we call off the simulation?" Jackie asks.

"No,give her a minute, she's been doing well," Max says shaking his head. "It looks like this is a fear she never expected." She backs up further and crouches down. Then she holds her arms out like she's holding a gun again. She hesitates, biting her lip, and then pulls her finger back. She does this for a while before screaming.

It is one of the most terrible noises I have ever heard. Lauren squeezes my arm reassuringly.

"Calm down," she whispers, nodding toward the leaders. "If they see you like this, they'll figure it out." I nod. I turn all my attention to Tris, lending her support, even though I am not with her. She is sitting on the she crawls across the floor and stands up smiling. The fear ends, and then the leaders all start laughing. A few look over their shoulders at me, causing them to laugh even harder.

In the simulation she pushes against something and presses her hands to her forehead. Eric looks over his shoulder at me and snorts. Tris whips around and pushes whatever it is attacking her and then starts laughing. The fear ends. Tris stiffens in the room.

"No," She shakes her head. Her heads whips around. She locks eyes with something only she can see three times before speaking again.

"Shut up!" She yells as loudly as she can. She holds out her arms like there's a gun for the third time. She hesitates for a while before she drops her arms. The leaders all gasp. She presses her forehead into something and the fear ends.

The leaders all stand.

"Only seven fears," Max hisses. "I've only seen one that low before. It's practically impossible."

"Must be a Stiff thing," Eric says giving me a dirty look from across the room.

"Oh, you're just upset she is more fearless than you." Jackie snaps.

"I am not," he snaps. "I think that she cheated. Somehow the Abnegation initiates learn how to cheat they system."

"Just shut up, Eric." Max growled."Get in there and congratulate her." Eric shot me one last dirty look before stomping into the simulator. The rest of the leader start to leave. Lauren pushes off the wall and starts to head to the door, only stopping to whisper.

"Looks like you're now Seven and Four," she laughs before leaving me to wait for Tris.

**A/N Sorry about the late update I've been really really sick since the last one and I haven't been able to look at the screen long enough to do this. Hopefully there aren't too many mistakes. This was only a short filler chapter until I feel better so please don't hate me for it **


	28. Intimacy

I follow the others into the simulation room. Originally I was going to wait outside but after Lauren left I decided to follow the leaders in, just to see what they say. As the door opens Tris rises to her feet, and I shoot her a smile. Not a big one, but a small reassuring one, to let her know she did well.

"Congratulations, Tris," says Eric. "You have successfully completed your final evaluation." Tris looks pained as she tries to crack a smile

"Thanks," she says.

"There is one more thing before you can go and get ready for the welcoming banquet," he continues I clench my fist as Jackie steps forward. She is holding the box of syringes. Eric pulls one out and fills it with the orange- brown liquid he got me with earlier. Tris tenses up, most likely thinking it is a simulation serum.

"At least you aren't afraid of needles," he says. "This will inject you with a tracking device that will be activated only if you are reported missing. Just a precaution."

"How often do people go missing?" Tris asks, frowning. I frown as well, the only time people go missing is when the leaders kill them for being a suspected Dauntless.

"Not often." Eric smirks, like he has information that says otherwise. "This is a new development courtesy of the Erudite. We have been injecting every Dauntless throughout the day, and I assume all other factions will comply as soon as possible."

The way he put that worries me. It is almost like the Erudite will force them to get the injection if they do not comply. Actually, I would not run it past them to do that, from what I have read they would do that without hesitation if it meant gaining control of the government.

"All right." Eric quickly injects Tris.

"The banquet is in two hours," he says. "Your ranking among the other initiates, Dauntless-born included, will be announced then. Good luck."

The small crowd quickly files out of the room, but I stay behind until they have all disappeared into the filled glass room above the Pit. I beckon for Tris to follow me. I smile at her as she falls into step next to me. I want her to know how incredibly proud of her I am.

"I heard a rumor that you only had seven obstacles to face. Practically unheard of." Tris looks upset,but there is something else there. I can't tell what it is though.

"You... you weren't watching the simulation?"

"Only on the screens. The Dauntless leaders are the only ones who see the whole thing," I say. "They seemed impressed." And angry, I add mentally. Tris has too much going on to worry about the fact that the leaders almost seemed angry that she did so well. I will tell her another time, after she becomes a member.

"Well, seven fears isn't as impressive as four," she replies, "but it will suffice."

"I would be surprised if you weren't ranked first." We enter the glass room. The crowd is still there, the people still talking about the initiates and the banquet later on. Tris presses close to my shoulder and we walk quickly toward the exit. We do not make it fast enough for her to avoid the cheers and shoulder slaps, but she handles it like a pro, even smiling at them as we pass.

"I have a question." Tris says as we descend into the Pit, biting her lip. "How much did they tell you about my fear landscape?" The question throws me off guard. It's almost like she does not want me to know her fears.

"Nothing ?" Tris kicks a pebble.

"No reason."

"Do you have to go back to the dormitory? Because if you want peace and quiet, you can stay with me until the banquet." Tris looks like she is going to throw up after I ask.

"What is it?" She takes a deep breath and some color returns to her cheeks.

"Let's go," she says.

I close the door behind us and kick off my boots. Call me a neat freak, but I hate when they leave marks on the floor.

"Want some water?" I offer.

"No thanks." Tris holds her hands in front of her. She still looks pale, like she is going to pass out any minute.

"You okay?" I say,touching her cheek.I smile and press my lips to hers, like I did the other night. I start to slide her jacket from her shoulders, to make it easier to pull her closer. She flinches and pushes me back. Her eyes are filled with tears. She covers her eyes with her palms.

My mind races into overdrive. _Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt her? _

"What? What's wrong?"

She shakes her head.

"Don't tell me it's nothing." My voice is cold, menacing. I really do not want to scare her, but sometimes it is the easiest way to catch her attention. I grab her arm. "Hey. Look at me." I clench my jaw as she lowers her hands, so she won't see how upset I really am.

"Sometimes I wonder," she says, calmly, "what's in this for ...whatever it is."

'What's in it for me," I repeat, surprised by how dense she is being. I step back, shaking my head. "You're an idiot, Tris."

"I am _not _an idiot," she says. "Which is why I know that it's a little weird that, of all the girls you could have chosen, you chose me. So if you're just looking for... um, you know..._that..._"

"What? Sex?" I scowl at her. "You know,if that was all I wanted, you probably wouldn't be the first person I would go to."

I regret the words the second they are out of my mouth. I feel even worse when I look at Tris and see the pain in her face and the tears in her eyes. She looks like a kicked puppy. Her arms instinctively wrap around her stomach and blinks a few times.

"I'm going to leave now," she says quietly. She turns toward the door.

"No. Tris." I grab her wrist and pull her back. She pushes me away, harder than I would have expected, and I quickly grab her other wrist.

"I'm sorry I said that," I say. "What I _meant_ was that you aren't like that. Which I knew when I met you."

"You were an obstacle in my fear landscape." Tris says suddenly, her lip wobbling."Did you know that?"

I felt like she had punched me in the stomach. All the air had been sucked from my lungs, causing my chest to hurt. Tris,my girlfriend, is afraid of me.

"What?" I quickly let go of her wrists and stumble back. I do not want to scare her anymore. "You're _afraid _of me?"

"Not you." She bites her lip. "Being with you... with anyone. I've never been involved with someone before, and... you're older,and I don't know what your expectations are, and..."

Realization hits me and I almost want to laugh. Half because it is kind of funny that she thinks I am any more experienced than she is, and half because what I am about to say is going to be incredibly awkward and embarrassing.

"Tris," I say sternly, "I don't know what delusion you're operating under, but this is all new to me, too."

"Delusion? You mean you haven't..." She raises her eyebrows and I feel my face start to go red. "Oh. Oh.I just assumed... Um. You know." Now, I am completely red, I would probably glow if the lights were off.

"Well, you assumed wrong." I quickly look away. "You can tell me anything, you know." I take her face in my hands. "I am kinder than I seemed in training.I promise."

I start kissing her face, between her eyebrows, her nose, and then finally softly on the lips. I want her to know I would never force her into anything she was uncomfortable with. I shift my hands to her shoulders and feel the edge of a bandage. I pull back, worried.

"Are you hurt?"

"No. It's another tattoo. It's healed, I just... wanted to keep it covered up."

"Can I see?" Tris nods and slips her shoulder out of the sleeve. I just look at her shoulder for a second and carefully run my fingers over the skin there. I peel the bandage away carefully. When it is gone the Abnegation symbol stands out in black against her pale skin. I smile.

"I have the same one," I say starting to laugh. "On my back." They are almost identical, except mine is slightly bigger. I am willing to bet Tori did both of them.

"Really? Can I see it?" I press the bandage back over her shoulder and slide her sleeve back up. My stomach feels like it is full of a million butterflies. I recognize the feeling as nerves.

"Are you asking me to undress, Tris?" I try to act cocky so she will not see how nervous I actually am. A small giggle escapes her.

"Only... partially." I nod and press my lips together. I quickly unzip my sweatshirt which is not really mine, but that's a story for another time, and throw it over the desk chair. I grab the hem of my shirt and pause for a second, steeling my nerves, before I quickly pull it off.

I can practically feel her eyes on the flames on my side. The ones that curl around my side and up my neck, the tattoo I only got finished at the start of initiation. I keep my eyes locked on where I painted 'Fear God Alone' two years ago.

"What is it?" Tris asks with a frown.

"I don't invite many people to look at me. Any people, actually."

"I can't imagine why," she sways softly. "I mean, look at you." I force myself not to blush as she circles around me. I allow her to look at the symbols tattooed on my back for a minute before I start explaining them.

"I think we've made a mistake," I say softly. Even here it isn't safe to speak against the faction system. "We've all started to put down the virtues of the other factions in the process of bolstering our own. I don't want to do that. I want to be brave, and selfless, _and _smart, _and_ kind, _and _honest." I clear my throat. "I continually struggle with kindness."_  
_

"No one's perfect," Tris whispers. "It doesn't work that way. One bad thing goes away, and another bad thing replaces it."

She is not wrong. I traded cowardice for ferocity, a sheltered life for one of danger. Her fingers brush over the Abnegation symbol .

"We have to warn them, you know. Soon."

"I know," I say. "We will." I turn toward her. She looks slightly nervous.

"Is this scaring you, Tris?"

"No,: she croaks. "Not really. I'm only... afraid of what I want."

"What do you want?" Then I realize what she is really saying. "Me?"

Slowly she nods. I nod back and take her hands gently. I push them up my abdomen, over my chest, and bring them to a stop at my chest. Her face has gone red, but she shivers anyway. We lock eyes.

"Someday, if you still want me, we can..." I pause, embarrassed and clear my throat. "We can..."

She smiles and wraps her arms around my neck, pressing her face into my chest. Her warm breath tickling the exposed skin.

"Are you afraid of me, too, Tobias?"

"Terrified," I reply with a smile. She kisses the hollow of my throat.

'Maybe you won't be in my fear landscape anymore," she mutters. I kiss her slowly.

"Then everyone can call you Six."

"Four and Six." I bend down and kiss her again. This time, for the first time, it feels familiar. Like we were meant to be like this. Like we are finally at peace with each other.

**A/N So I am feeling better now, thank goodness, but updates still may be slow for a bit. I joined track and by the time I get home I am completely exhausted. **

**Now time for some quick shameless self-advertising. I have started a Percy Jackson fic named Forbidden It's about what happens when a demigod and a god have a child.**

**Please check that one out and tell me what you thought of this chapter **

**XOXOXO**


	29. First Place

Tris and I walk together toward the dining hall. We spent the two hours just lying in bed together, talking and kissing, until we both started to dozing off, until the shouts in the hall started. Tris looks pale as we walk.

When we reach the entrance we separate Tris goes in first and goes to sit with Christina and Will. I follow a minute later and go to sit by Zeke.

"Wanna beer?" he slurs offering me the bottle. I wave it off.

"So this is it," Lauren says. "I can't wait to see who had more top five initiates."

"It's obviously me," I laugh. "After all I am the best trainer here."

"In your dreams," Lauren rolls her eyes.

"Hey," Zeke practically yells. "After tonight you can officially start dating the Stiff!" I turn bright red as he slaps my back. The girls laugh.

"Sorry about him," Shauna says. "I couldn't get him to stop drinking for anything." I shrug.

"No need to apologize, it's just Zeke."

"So is it true that one of yours is afraid of moths?" Lauren asks. "I heard some of the leaders laughing earlier."

"I heard that too, but I'm not sure which one, I kind of hope it was Peter, because that would be hysterical."

"It's probably one of the girls," Shauna said. "That kind of thing is always a girl."

A microphone squeals. causing most people to cover their ears. Eric is standing on the table next to ours, tapping his fingers on the mike. He continues until the crowd of Dauntless has fallen completely silent. He clears his throat and begins.

"We aren't big on speeches here. Eloquence is for Erudite," he says. The crowd laughs. I wonder if they would laugh if they knew underneath his act, he is still one of them. "So I'm going to keep this short. It's a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations."

The room erupts into applause. Not the polite claps of the Abnegation, or the restrained finger taps of the Erudite, but banging on the table and shouting applause. The best kind. The type that vibrates in your chest and makes you feel alive.

"We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring tje skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things we welcome you."

Eric does not believe in any of those things. Everyone knows it. Only a very few of us actually believe what the manifesto says, the rest are adrenaline junkies.

"Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they are ranked. The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combination of three scores- the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage and the third, from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me."

As soon as the last word is out of his mouth the names appear on the screen. Next to the number one is a picture of a short blonde girl, one who is now known as "Tris." Around the room the cheering starts. The initiates are all pulling each other into bear hugs and even tearing up. Zeke slaps my beck before running of to find Uriah, Shauna does the same for Lynn.

"Go congratulate her," Lauren says pushing me over to where Uriah and Tris are hugging each other. I smile and start toward her. I tap my girlfriends shoulder and she turns around beaming.

"You think giving you a hug would give away too much?" I ask. It does not matter anymore, we can be as public as we want now. The thought makes me happy.

"You know, I really don't care." She stands on her tip toes and presses her lips to mine. I brush my thumb over her neck and she stiffens a second before pulling back. Tris stares at me with wide worried eyes.

"Tris?" I ask confused.

She shakes her head. "Not now." Her friends stare at us with open mouths. Obviously shocked by what they just saw. I want to pry to see what has her so worried but the look in her eyes tells me that I will have to wait for an answer.

"Later," she says. "Okay?"

I nod. Whatever it is that she has figured out must be important if it has her this worried. She is one of the most fearless people I have ever met and she seems completely terrified.

I can't imagine how awful whatever it is must be.

**A/N Can I just say that I love you guys? When I woke up I saw that I had reached 90 reviews. The manliest of tears were shed. I want to thank each and every one of you for all your support. It means the world to me**

**Lots of Love**

**Vicki**


	30. Zombies

Tris and I got separated during the whirlwind of activity after the announcement. Members crowded around me congratulating me on my first place initiate and some even teasing about kissing her. I could not concentrate on the cheerful atmosphere because the look of horror in Tris' eyes was seared into my brain.

After everyone was done cheering, I slipped out to find her. I checked everywhere in the Pit, the training room, and even the simulation areas. After about an hour of searching I realized that she probably fell asleep, since the fear landscapes take a lot out of a person.

I was just about to head back to my apartment when the sound of uniform footfalls filled the air. Doors flew open around me to show blank faced members. That's when it all clicked into place. The injections, the new law, how they were going to get us to fight.

They were using the simulations.

They had created a fearless, zombie, army. The Erudite had done it, they had found a way to gain control of the government.

I quickly jumped behind on of the blank eyed members and forced myself to fall into the same pace. I schooled my features into a blank look and followed the others through the hallways, toward the Pit. There Max stands over everyone, watching the blank faces. I silently prey that Uriah and Tris are smart enough to realize what is going on and are playing along.

I pass Max with no problems and follow the woman in front of me up to the weaponry. I grab a gun, holster, and belt, the same as everyone else. After I am armed I follow the others toward the tracks. I quickly hop on and start pulling people on behind me. I pull a boy into the nearly full car and am about to go stand in the back when I see Tris, I grab her hand and pull her into the car with me.

Her face is almost completely blank except for the small frown she gets when she sees me. The two of us move to the back of the fourth row and I slowly lace my fingers with hers, so she knows I'm alert as well. She jumps slightly at first but squeezes my hand quickly. I trace my thumb over the back of her hand, hopefully, in a calming sort of way.

My mind wanders as we head toward the Abnegation section of the city. On one hand I agree with the Erudite, that more than one faction needs control of the government. On the other i disagree with their method. I know I cannot go into battle against the Abnegation. They won't stand a chance against the highly trained, super warriors, that make up Dauntless.

There is also a part of me that wants to see Marcus pay. I don't necessarily want him dead, but I want him to see how wrong he was. I want him to see that he made mistakes and is not as perfect as he seems to think.

I do not know how long we stood there before the brakes squealed and the members around us start to unload. I turn my head to Tris.

"Run." I hiss at her. I don't want her to see what's about to happen.

"My family," she answers. I can hear the desperation in those two words. She knows that her parents are in danger. She knows they don't stand a chance. I walk in front of her down the once familiar streets. We pass the place I used to go to pick up our uniform grey clothing, the bus stop I once broke my arm at, the house of my grandparents.

We pass my childhood as we march. Except everything is different in the dark. Gloomier then I remember. The roads are packed with Dauntless zombies, all armed and ready to go. All except the leaders. The obviously were never injected, they are acting on their own free will.

The sounds of gunshots begin to fill the night. I bite the inside of my lip as we pass Tori, Tattoo Tori, killing one of the council members. In front of me the soldiers stop and I do as well.

"This is insane," I nearly growl. Eric sounds thrilled by how smoothly things are going. Out of the corner of my eye I see him poke Tris' cheek. Thankfully she keeps her face blank.

"They really can't see us? Or hear us?" Jackie asks. I struggle against my impulse to shoot them both.

"Oh, they can see and hear. They just aren't processing what they see and hear the same way." I can practically hear the triumph in Eric's voice. "They receive commands from our computers in the transmitters we injected them with..." He presses his finger into the base of her neck. My hand twitches toward my gun.

"...and carry them out seamlessly." He shifts toward me and leans close to me, his cocky grin wide across his features. His silver piercings glitter in the minimal light.

"Now, this is a happy sight," he says. "The legendary Four. No one's going to remember that I came in second now, are they? No one's going to ask me, 'What was it like to train with the guy who has only _ four fears_?" I feel him press the barrel of a gun to my right temple. He won't shoot, my status should protect me, seeing as he Jackie is still his superior.

"Think anyone would notice if he accidentally got shot?"

"Go ahead," Jackie says, sounding bored. I almost groan in frustration. "He's nothing now."

"Too bad you didn't just take Max up on his offer, Four. Well, too bad for _you, _anyway." The bullet clicks into the chamber. My hand twitches for my gun. _Three, two..._ I am about to pull my weapon when Tris whirls around and takes aim at Eric's forehead. I want to knock the thing out of her hands and yell at her to run, but instead I stay still. I can't give myself away just yet. Not if both Tris and I are going to survive.

"Get your gun away from his head," Tris practically snarls. Her face is set. She will shoot him, if need be.

"You won't shoot me," Eric replies.

"Interesting theory." Tris grits her teeth and at the last second angles her gun toward his foot and fires. He screams and grabs his now blood soaked foot. Smirking, I draw my gun and shoot Jackie in the leg. Tris grabs my arm and starts to run toward an alley.

We have barely a hundred yards left to go when she starts to fall behind. I grab her and and start to drag her, too fast, toward the safety of the buildings. I hear a gunshot and Tris lets out a strangled cry.

Her hand is torn from mine as she collapses onto the pavement, I skid to a stop and drop to my knees in front of her. There is no way I can leave her behind. I would rather face a firing squad.

"Run!" She yells turning her now scraped and bloody face toward me.

"No," I say in a calm, controlled voice. Within seconds we are completely surrounded. I carefully help Tris to her feet, supporting most of her weight. The guns of a dozen Dauntless are pointed in our faces.

"Divergent rebels," Eric says, balancing on one foot. His face is drained of all color. Mentally I congratulate Tris on a job well done. "Surrender your weapons."

**A/N I can't believe how close to finished we are. I personally can't wait to start Insurgent. It's going to be amazing**

XOXO


	31. Injection

I supported most of Tris's weight as we made our way to Abnegation headquarters. A gun was pressed flush against my spine. One wrong step as I was a red spot on the cement. Tris grew paler with every step she took. I could tell she needed a doctor, quickly, if she was going to survive.

We get pushed towards a door guarded by two members whose names I did not know. The plain office contained only a desk, computer, and two chairs. Jeanine was sitting behind the desk with a phone pressed to her ear.

The very sight of her put my teeth on edge. Someone who could so carelessly start war with such a peaceful group of people had serious mental problems. Problems I wanted nothing of in my life.

"Well, send some of them back on the train, then," she says. "It needs to be well guarded, it's the most important part- I'm not talk- I have to go." She snaps the phone shut and locks eyes with Tris. The impulse to step in front of her is almost overpowering. There is something about the look she gives my girlfriend that makes me want to throttle her.

"Divergent rebels," Darrell says. He is one of the older leaders, on that's been around since long before my time.

"Yes, I can see that." Jeanine takes off her glasses. Something tells me she wears them out of vanity. She probably thinks they make her look more intelligent or something.

"_You,_" she points a finger at Tris, "I expected. All the trouble with your aptitude test results made me suspicious from the beginning. But _you_..."

She shakes her head and turns towards me.

"You, Tobias- or should I call you Four?- managed to elude me," she says quietly. "Everything about you checked out: test results, initiation simulations, everything. But here you are nonetheless." She folded her hands and set her chin on top of them as she continued to watch me. "Perhaps you can explain To me how that is?"

I managed to keep off the radar because of my job and Amar. Amar was the one who managed to fix my results from the aptitude test and initiation. After that I took a job in the control room, partially because I like computers, but mostly because I could change my files. I was planning on fixing up Tris's file as soon as she took her job assignment.

"You're the genius," I said coldly. "Why don't you tell me?" Her cruel lips curl into a smile.

"My theory is that you really do belong in Abnegation. That your Divergence is weaker." I almost laughed at that. I had changed my file to say that my result had been Abnegation not long after initiation. Amar had said it was Erudite but I knew it was too dangerous to keep that as my result.

Jeanine's smile widens. It is like she finds this whole encounter humorous. Tris looks like she wants to jump the desk and strangle her. I het the feeling she would have too, if it were not for the bullet lodged in her shoulder.

"Your powers of deductive reasoning are stunning," I spit. "Consider me awed."

Tris gives me a sideways glance, like she is surprised that I am fighting back. There is no way I am going to let some Erudite bitch walk all over me. I would rather go down fighting then just lie down and die.

"Now that your intelligence has been verified, you might want to get on with killing us." I close my eyes so I do not have to look at her face anymore. "You have a lot of Abnegation leaders to murder, after all."

If my comment bothers her she doesn't let on. Instead she stands up and continues smiling. Tris starts to sway next to me. The blood loss is getting to her. She slumps into me and I slide my arm around her waist to hold her steady. We need to get out of here but I can't count on her to stand, let alone run.

"Don't be silly. There is no rush. You are both here for an extremely important purpose. You see, it perplexed me that the Divergent were immune to the serum that I developed, so I have been working to remedy that. I thought i might have, with the last batch, but as you know, I was wrong. Luckily I have another batch to test."

"Why bother?" Tris slurs. I'm more worried about the fact that her eyes are starting to droop than Jeanine's answer.

"I have had a question since I started the Dauntless project, and it is this." She slides around the desk, skimming the surface with her finger. "Why are most of the Divergent weak-willed, God-fearing nobodies from _Abnegation, _of all factions?"

"Weak-willed," I scoffed, trying to buy us more time, so I could think of a plan to get Tris out of here. "It requires a _strong _will to manipulate a simulation, last time I checked. Weak willed is mind-controlling an army because it's too hard to train one yourself."

"I am not a fool," she says. "A faction of intellectuals is no army, we are tired of being dominated by a bunch of self-righteous idiots who reject wealth and advancement, but we couldn't do this on our own. And your Dauntless leaders were all too happy to oblige me if I guaranteed them a place in our new, improved government."

"Improved," I snort. This woman is completely delusional.

"Yes, improved," Jeanine says. "Improved, and working toward a world in which people will live in wealth, comfort, and prosperity."

"At whose expense?" Tris asks, her voice thick and slow. "All that wealth... Doesn't come from nowhere."

"Currently, the factionless are a drain on our resources," she replies. "As is Abnegation. I am sure that once the remains of your old faction are absorbed into the Dauntless army, Candor will cooperate and we will finally be able to get on with things."

I clench my teeth. She wants to become a dictator. This isn't about change, this is about power. Anyone that believes that this sadistic woman wants change is a moron.

"Get on with things," I repeat and I can hear my voice start to rise. "Make no mistake. You will be dead before the day is out, you-"

"Perhaps if you could control your temper," Jeanine says, cutting me short and fueling my anger, "you would not be in this situation to begin with, Tobias." I want to scream at her when she uses that name. There is only one person in this world allowed to call me Tobias and currently she's bleeding to death while I try to hold her up.

"I'm in this situation because you put me here," I snap. "The second you orchestrated an attack against innocent people."

"Innocent people," she laughs. "I find that a little funny, coming from you. I would expect Marcus's son yo understand that not all those people are innocent Can you tell me honestly that you wouldn't be happy to discover that your father was killed in the attack?"

"No," I manage from between gritted teeth. "But at least his evil didn't involve the widespread manipulation of an entire faction and the systematic murder of every political leader we have."

The two of us stare at each other. Both daring the other to back down. A silent battle of wills occurs in those few seconds and I win the moment she clears her throat.

"What I was going to say," she says, "is that soon, dozens of the Abnegation and their young children will be my responsibility to keep in order, and it does not bode well for me that a large number of them may be Divergent like yourselves, incapable of being controlled by the simulations."

She clasps her hands in front of her. There's pride in even the smallest of her movements.

"Therefore, it was necessary that I develop a new form of simulation to which they are not immune. I have been forced to reassess my own assumptions. That is where you come in. You are correct to say that you are strong-willed. I cannot control your will. But there are a few things I can control." She stops pacing and turns to face us.

Tris leans her head against my shoulder? I can feel her blood trailing down her back towards my arm. The warmth of it is startling.

Jeanine presses her palms together. She shows no glee as I would have expected. There is something robotic about the way she looks at us. Like she is more machine than human. The thought gives me an idea.

She seems to think she's invincible, so if I try to attack her, it might throw the guards off long enough for Tris to get out. Tris's eyes are closed and all the color in her face is gone. I'm not sure my plan will even work but I have to try. Even if she can't get out, I want Jeanine to see I can still hurt her.

"I can control what you see and hear," she continues. "So I created a new serum that will adjust your surroundings to manipulate your will. Those who refuse to accept our leadership must be closely monitored."

She may be a psychopath, but Jeanine does have a way with words.

"You will be the first test subject, Tobias. Beatrice however..." She smiles. "You are too injured to be of much use to me, so your execution will occur at the conclusion of this meeting."

Tris shudders in my arms and my mind blanks in terror. There is no way I can get Tris out of this. Even if she has enough energy left to run, Jeanine will find her. She might even use me to execute her if she tries to run.

"No," I say. My voice trembles even though I try to control it. I shake my head. "I would rather die."

"I'm afraid you don't have much of a choice in the matter," Jeanine replies lightly.

In that second I make the decision. The two of us were about to die but I was not going to lie down and let this madwoman walk all over me. I roughly pull Tris to me and kiss her. I let all my emtion play into the kiss. I want her to know that what I am about to do is for her. I want her to know that I was willing to give up my own life if it meant she had a slight chance to continue hers.

Then quick as a flash I pull away from her. I break the tie that had held our lips together only seconds before. Using the strength I found in that last kiss I launch myself over the table. I wrap my hands around Jeanine's throat and use all my strength to crush it. Behind me I hear bullets clicking into their chambers and Tris scream. I tighten my hold on Jeanine's neck.

Her eyes begin to go glassy as the guards haul me off. Another few seconds and she would have died. I am roughly shoved to the floor by one guard who pins my shoulders and shoves my face into the hard wood floor. I struggle for a minute but then stop.

I may not have killed the woman but Jeanine has realized how breakable she really is, if her expression as she braces herself with the desk is anything to go by. I look to Tris to see what happened to her, but my view is blocked by the guard on my back.

Jeanine pulls a box from her desk and opens it. A needle and syringe are pulled our as she approaches me. I grit my teeth and use all my strength to elbow the guard in the face. As a result I feel something slam into the side of my head and a prick in my neck.

Then everything went dark.

**A/N Sorry for the long wait. I was on vacation for two weeks and I a,so was at a writing convention. I know excuses excuses but the convention was a week long event in Canada where I got to meet a load of amazing people.**

**Please, forgive me for the late update though. I promise I'll be back on track as soon as possible.**

**XOXOX**


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